10 Things I Can See From Here

I was astonished at what I could do. And I wondered what else I could do. Maybe I would always wear the heavy boots of anxiety and the prickly coat of worry, but maybe -- even still -- I could just be a person who belongs in the world, even if it's hard.

What can I do?" Salix pulled away. "Can I make you a cup of tea? Want to go for a walk?" "I just want to stop worrying so much!" I can't even do anything, so what's the point?" "You told me that you can't really help it, right?" She wiped my tears with her shirt. I nodded. "So worry. Just go ahead and worry. Worry as hard as you can, and then keep worrying." "That sounds awful." "But if you can't stop worrying, you have to figure out how to worry and keep living, right? We need to find you a really, really big box." "What for?" "Not a box. A backpack." "What?" "For you to put your worries in, so that you can take them with you, and when you figure out how to not worry so much, you can get rid of them one at a time. And then the backpack will get lighter and lighter until you'll be so light you'll float off the ground." I kissed her then, because there were no words for how much I liked her in that moment. Loved her, maybe.

If you start freaking out, call me and we’ll go for a walk. Or we’ll ride the night buses. We’ll smoke some pot and get the giggles and eat a whole bag of chips. We’ll walk up and down the alleys looking for treasure and avoiding skunks. Any of those things. None of those things. Whatever you can think of. In fact, you don’t even have to think about all the silly things. I can do that too. Your girlfriend will be in charge of distractions.

... she was just another girl I would never get to know.

Girls shimmered, as if all the light shone on them and not on the boys at all.

Seeing Salix in front of that orchestra had inspired me. She had felt all the hard feelings, but she had done the hard thing anyway. She just did it. She was prepared to handle whatever happened. Or maybe not prepared, but at least willing to do it and hope for the best, Feel the fear. Do it anyway.

I didn’t want to sit in the murky unknown. I wanted to stand on concrete.

Claire took Owen to get his cast taken

Will you please take him outside for some fresh air? Go across the street and buy him a chocolate bar.' She said it so formally, but instead of sounding polite, it sounded like Claire was really telling him to take Owen across the fucking street and get him a fucking chocolate bar, and, by the way, fuck you.