C.D. Payne · 512 pages
Rating: (8.8K votes)
“I have found that people who can successfully resist temptation invariably lead depressingly stunted lives.”
― C.D. Payne, quote from Youth in Revolt: The Journals of Nick Twisp
“Do you suppose the human race invented boredom to make the prospect of death more palatable?”
― C.D. Payne, quote from Youth in Revolt: The Journals of Nick Twisp
“Confession can be good for the soul, but it can exact a heavy toll on friendships.”
― C.D. Payne, quote from Youth in Revolt: The Journals of Nick Twisp
“Consider, if you will, the morning boner. What a metaphor of hope and renewal! How can anyone give way to despair when one’s groin greets each day with such a gala spectacle of physical optimism?”
― C.D. Payne, quote from Youth in Revolt: The Journals of Nick Twisp
“As much as I think about sex, I can only with extreme difficulty conceive of myself actually performing the act. And here's another thing I wonder about. How could you ever look a girl in the eye after you've had your winkie up her wendell? I mean, doesn't that render normal social conversation impossible? Apparently not.”
― C.D. Payne, quote from Youth in Revolt: The Journals of Nick Twisp
“I take it, then, Vijay, you are still a virgin?'
Yes, and I find it extremely galling. When Gandhi was my age he had already been married three years.'
No wonder Gandhi turned out to be a great man. When you get your love life nailed down that early, think of all the time it frees up to devote to Great Ideas.”
― C.D. Payne, quote from Youth in Revolt: The Journals of Nick Twisp
“Now I know why women get their ears pierced. Once they've survived this ordeal of mutilation, they can face the discomforts of childbirth with equanimity.”
― C.D. Payne, quote from Youth in Revolt: The Journals of Nick Twisp
“I've decided Mom's boyfriends are a lot like U.S. Presidents. You keep thinking they can't get any worse. And then she comes up with a Lance Wescott.”
― C.D. Payne, quote from Youth in Revolt: The Journals of Nick Twisp
“Dwayne! Don't be ridiculous. Guy's don't share their girlfriends.'
Why not?'
Because they don't. Men are instinctually competitive. It's so there'll be lots of wars to keep overpopulation in check.”
― C.D. Payne, quote from Youth in Revolt: The Journals of Nick Twisp
“It was a “severe” disappointment to Henry Wilson who laid it all at the door of Kitchener and the Cabinet for having sent only four divisions instead of six. Had all six been present, he said with that marvelous incapacity to admit error that was to make him ultimately a Field Marshal, “this retreat would have been an advance and defeat would have been a victory.”
― Barbara W. Tuchman, quote from The Guns of August
“The last time I saw you, I was trying to throw thumbtacks into your cradle!”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from The Grim Grotto
“Always expect trouble in the desert. Then you usually won't meet it.”
― John Flanagan, quote from Erak's Ransom
“Geez, if I could get through to you, kiddo, that depression is not sobbing and crying and giving vent, it is plain and simple reduction of feeling. Reduction, see? Of all feeling. People who keep stiff upper lips find that it's damn hard to smile.”
― quote from Ordinary People
“What? Don't British women know how to use their knees?”
― Shannon Hale, quote from Austenland
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