“If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.”
― George Carlin, quote from Napalm & Silly Putty
“I'll tell you a little secret about the Blues: it's not enough to know which notes to play, you have to know why they need to be played.”
― George Carlin, quote from Napalm & Silly Putty
“Griddle cakes, pancakes, hot cakes, flapjacks: why are there four names for grilled batter and only one word for love?”
― George Carlin, quote from Napalm & Silly Putty
“Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.”
― George Carlin, quote from Napalm & Silly Putty
“Did you ever eat a whole box of cookies right in a row? Did you ever do that? I don't mean take them into your bedroom or something. I mean open them right up in the kitchen as soon as you get home from the store and eat 'em while you're standing there? Just stare at the toaster while you're eatin' a whole goddamn box of cookies?”
― George Carlin, quote from Napalm & Silly Putty
“A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.”
― George Carlin, quote from Napalm & Silly Putty
“All music is the blues. All of it.”
― George Carlin, quote from Napalm & Silly Putty
“I don’t understand this notion of ethnic pride. “Proud to be Irish,” “Puerto Rican pride,” “Black pride.” It seems to me that pride should be reserved for accomplishments; things you attain or achieve, not things that happen to you by chance. Being Irish isn’t a skill; it’s genetic. You wouldn’t say, “I’m proud to have brown hair,” or “I’m proud to be short and stocky.” So why the fuck should you say you’re proud to be Irish? I’m Irish, but I’m not particularly proud of it. Just glad! Goddamn glad to be Irish!”
― George Carlin, quote from Napalm & Silly Putty
“These are the kinds of thoughts that made it necessary to separate me from the other kids at school.”
― George Carlin, quote from Napalm & Silly Putty
“If free trade can really turn all these Third World countries into thriving economies full of entrepreneurs and investors, who’s gonna clean the fuckin’ toilets around here?”
― George Carlin, quote from Napalm & Silly Putty
“Every sixty seconds, thirty acres of rain forest are destroyed in order to raise beef for fast-food restaurants that sell it to people, giving them strokes and heart attacks, which raise medical costs and insurance rates, providing insurance companies with more money to invest in large corporations that branch out further into the Third World so they can destroy more rain forests.”
― George Carlin, quote from Napalm & Silly Putty
George Carlin
Born place: in New York, New York, The United States
Born date May 12, 1937
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“I’m over a thousand years old. I’ve seen it all. You, sweetcheeks, are nothing new.” At what must have been an outraged expression on her face, he laughed again. “Come on. Surely you can’t think you are the only female out there who’s had a rough life, had her heart walked on, been kept in a dungeon for three centuries, blah, blah, pick your trauma, and are now stomping around with all this pent-up anger you spill like acid on everyone who gets to know you.” He narrowed his gaze at her. “How close am I?”
Sin’s mouth worked, but nothing came out. She finally snapped it shut to avoid looking like a fish gasping on the bank of a river.
“That’s what I thought.” He made a shooing gesture with his hand. “No, run along and go be caustic with someone who cares. Oh, wait, no one cares, do they? Because you won’t let them--”
― Larissa Ione, quote from Desire Unchained
“just remember sweetie, sometimes we can;t change what happens, but we can change how we let those things affect us.”
― C.C. Hunter, quote from Whispers at Moonrise
“The more precious His gift, the more anxious God for its return.”
― Seth Grahame-Smith, quote from Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
“You in a hurry?” Ranger said, looking amused.
“Things to do.” I moved to get out of the car, and he grabbed me by the scruff of my neck.
“You’re going to be careful,” he said.
"Y-y-yes.”
“And you’re going to carry your gun.”
“Yes.”
“Loaded.”
“Okay, loaded.”
He released my neck. “Sweet dreams.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from High Five
“But he said it couldn’t have”
― Sidney Sheldon, quote from Nothing Lasts Forever
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