What Happens Next

You're beautiful, Sid,' he says, pushing my hair out of my face. 'And I never said it at first because it seemed so obvious to me, so easy. I didn't say it because I never wanted you to think the things I say to you are just things. Empty compliments to get in your pants. I wanted the things I say to you to be extraordinary, because that's what you are to me. Extraordinary. And I'm so sorry I didn't say it sooner, because I think you need to hear it. You were beautiful a year ago and you're beautiful now.

Then I look over at Corey, who is watching me with a tenderness that makes me want to crawl inside his heart, pitch a tent, and set up camp forever.

He cups the back of my neck with his hand and holds the other against my face, rubbing my cheek with his thumb. Slowly, he leans down and kisses me. Soft, then deep. I ooze against the house. I can feel his kiss in my whole body, like warm liquid pouring through me—gold, rich, and melting. After about a minute of what can only be described as sheer ecstasy, Corey rests his forehead against mine so we can both catch our breath. Then he takes my head into his hands and looks at me hard, like his heart is breaking. 'I have wanted to do that for so, so long.' I cannot speak. I can only nod yes and hope he knows what I mean. He kisses me more... "... for months and months..." "... when you sprayed me with Dr. Pepper..." "... at the bakery when you were holding that corned beef..." "... and every single time I see you..." I lean against the house and hold on to his wrists so I don't dissolve into a puddle. And I kiss him back. Over and over, I kiss him back.

Do you love me?' I say quietly, still staring at the water. He pauses. I turn to look at him. His eyes are soft and big and the corners of his mouth turn upward into a shy grin. 'Yeah. Yeah, I do. I was going to tell you. It's just, I've never said it to anyone, so I was... I kept...' 'I love you, too' I say.

After a second, he reaches over and rubs my head playfully, and then pulls me into him. 'Come here,' he says gently. I unbuckle and scoot in close to him. I don't care if this truck full of dials has no airbags and I get killed in a wreck. I'll die happy. He drives slow and careful and we kiss at every stop sign and red light the whole way back to my house.

I watch his lips moving and he doesn't seem to notice that I'm about to reach up, unzip myself from the skull down, jump out of my skin, and yell, Surprise! There's a crazy person in here!

Katherine is the master of anger; she dominates anger. She takes anger in her hands and twists its neck, ripping its head off. She throws anger against the wall and stomps it to death. Her voice rises, it changes, it conjures up ghosts and cusses in a spitting Irish brogue. Then, when she's tapped out empty, she picked anger up between her a thumb and a forefinger and carries it outside and drops it in the trash. On her way back, she scoops up forgiveness like a bouquet, sniffs it deep and arranges it in a vase. She sets forgiveness down, shining in the middle of everything.

On her way back, she scoops up forgiveness like a bouquet, sniffs it deep and arranges it in a vase. She sets forgiveness down, shining in the middle of everything.

I've always, always thought you were beautiful, Sid. Always.

I choose to believe that I will be okay.