“Ivy waved the wet handkerchief, as much as to say, words cannot possibly articulate my profound distress. Then, because Ivy never settled for meaningful gestures when verbal embellishments could compound the effect, she said, "Words cannot possibly articulate my profound distress.”
“She moved with such purpose it was as though she walked with exclamation marks.”
“Madame Lefoux accepted a cup of tea and sat on another little settee, next to the relocated calico cat. The cat clearly believed Madame Lefoux was there to provide chin scratches. Madame Lefoux provided.”
“Alexia,” she hissed to her friend, “there are knees positively everywhere. What do I do?”
“I like fish," chirruped Tunstell.
"Really, Mr. Tunstell? What is your preferred breed?"
"Well"--Tunstell hesitated--"you know, the um, ones that"--he made a swooping motion with both hands--"uh, swim.”
“Ah, Lady Maccon, how lovely. I did wonder when you would track us down.”
“I was unavoidably delayed by husbands and Ivys,” explained Alexia.
“These things, regrettably, are bound to occur when one is married and befriended.”
“Ah, Ivy, thought Alexia happily, spreading a verbal fog wherever she goes.”
“What’s wrong with you? Are you ill? I forbid you to be ill, wife.”
“Why did you want to go and distract me like that? I was quite in my element and everything.' Conall laughed. 'Someone has to keep you off balance; otherwise you'll end up ruling the empire. Or at least ordering it into wretched submission.”
“She boasted the general battle-ax demeanor of an especially strict governess. This was the kind of woman who took her tea black, smoked cigars after midnight, played a mean game of cribbage, and kept a bevy of repulsive little dogs.
Alexia liked her immediately.”
“Alexia, did you know there is an entire regiment decamping on your front lawn?
Laddy Maccon sighed. "Really, Ivy, I would never have noticed.”
“Alexia had spent long hours wondering over that mustache. Werewolves did not grow hair, as they did not age. Where had it come from? Had he always had it? For how many centuries had his poor abused upper lip labored under the burden of such vegetation?”
“Lady Maccon stopped suddenly. Her husband got four long strides ahead before he realized she had paused. She was starring thoughtfully up into the aether, twirling the deadly parasol about her head.
"I have just remembered something," Alexia said when he returned to her side.
"Oh, that explains everything. How foolish of me to think you could walk and remember at the same time.”
“He nuzzled in at her neck kissing and licking her softly just below her ear. “Just a moment ” he said. “I need a small reminder that you are here you are whole and you are mine.”
“Really, Alexia, what could have possessed you to attach yourself to the side of the ship in such a juvenile fashion? It is positively barnacle-like.”
“As if being a former vampire drone in a werewolf household were not shocking enough, the maid then opened her mouth and proved that she was also, quite reprehensibly, French.”
“What did you do?” “Well, you see, there was this pot of tea, simply sitting there…” He trailed off.
“Useful thing, tea,” commented Lyall thoughtfully.”
“It was a constant source of amazement to Alexia that the only thing she had ever done in her entire life that pleased her mama was marry a werewolf.”
“Why? I mean, why you? I can perfectly comprehend not liking my husband. I dislike him intensely most of the time.”
Professor Lyall stifled a chuckle. “I am given to understand that he does not approve of spelling one’ s name with two ll’s. He finds it inexcusably Welsh. I suspect he may be quite taken with you, however.”
Westminster’s toy had tea issues. Thank Biffy and Lyall. Toodle pip.
“She reached inside the wide ruffle and pulled out a little vial.
“Poison?” asked Lady Maccon, tilting her head to one side.
“Certainly not. Something far more important: perfume. We cannot very well have you fighting crime unscented, now, can we?”
“Oh.” Alexia nodded gravely. After all, Madame Lefoux was French. “Certainly not.”
Oh, please absolve me of this guilt I already feel squishing on my very soul! My troubled heart weeps! Oh dear, Ivy was getting flowery. My bones ache with the sin that I am about to commit. Oh, why must I have bones? I have lost myself to this transplanting love. You could not possibly understand how this feels! Yet try to comprehend, dearest Alexia, I am like a delicate bloom. Marriage without love is all very well for people like you, but I should wilt and wither. I need a man possessed of a poet’s soul! I am simply not so stoic as you. I cannot stand to be apart from him one moment longer! The caboose of my love has derailed, and I must sacrifice all for the man I adore! Please do not judge me harshly! It was all for love!
“Oh, Lady Maccon, I am unreservedly in love with her. That black hair, that sweet disposition, those capital hats.”
“Alexia gave in to his demanding touch, but only, of course, because he sounded so pathetic. It had nothing, whatsoever to do with her own quickening heartbeat.”
“...Tunstell was not what one could describe as call subtle. His flaming red hair bobbed up with each pointed and articulated footstep as though he were some cloaked Gothic villain creeping across a stage.”
“What have I done thins time?" he paused to ask before continuing with his oral expedition about her body: her husband, the intrepid explorer.”
“Tunstell, this is your Alpha speaking. Do as I tell you. You must regurgitate now.
Regurgitation is an involuntary action. You cannot simply order me to do it,” replied Tunstell in a small voice.
“I most certainly can. Besides which, you are an actor.”
Tunstell grimaced. “I’ve never had cause to vomit onstage.”
“Lord Maccon reflected upon the state of his life wherein he had somehow gained a spouse who could not give a pig's foot for the latest dresses out of Paris but who whined about not owning an aethographic transmitter. Well, at least the two were comparable obsessions so far as expense was concerned.”
“They decided the mummy would be unwrapped, for the titillation of the ladies, just after dinner.”
“These things, regrettably, are bound to occur when one is married and befriended.”
“You worry about hurting me, but you never seem to worry about me hurting you. And I’m the one with the killer touch.”
“Но отдалечавайки се бавно от гробището, групичката здраво сплотени опечалени жени сякаш започна бавно да набира сила с всяка стъпка. Сякаш първата им любов и вярност бяха отдадени безкомпромисно само и единствено на тази къща и този човек и те знаеха, че той винаги е бил живецът във всички етапи от съществуването им. Не само че никога не бяха нарушили верността си към него, но сега подновяваха клетвата си към него заедно с жената, която беше дошла сред тях и се беше омъжила за него. Непрекъснатото им връщане у дома беше потвърждение на несломимото присъствие на къщата в живота им и сега, след като го оставиха под тисовото дърво, сякаш всяка от тях по собствен начин се беше превъплътила в татко.”
“I am far, far away from here. I am myself again.”
“My God, ma'am, you're so pretty I'd walk ten miles barefooted on a freezing morning to stand in your shit.”
“coffee can energize the industrious at dawn, calm the reflective at noon, or raise the spirits of the beleagured in the middle of the night. “It’s”
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