The Sweet Gum Tree

You can’t turn love on and off like a light switch, no matter how hard you try. All you can do is wall it off, one brick at a time, until you’ve created an impenetrable fortress around your emotions. And once that fortress is built, you camouflage it so well that even you can’t see it anymore.

To my surprise, Nick reached under his shirt and pulled out the half-heart pendant. With his gaze fixed on mine, he slid the chain over my head. “No one should have to go through life with only half a heart,” he whispered.

I promise you this. I’ll love you until the day I die even if I have to live without you. And if it’s fifty years from now, you come home, Nick Anderson. Do you hear me? I’ll be waiting on you.

the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference

He always was someone. Because the core of the sweet gum tree never changes. Like Nick, the deep red wood stays true to its nature. Strong, and steady, and pure.

Do you want to know the real reason I came back, Alix?” It was because of you. You’re my roots. Wherever you are would be home to me.

There are more kinds of hurt than physical ones, hurts that run ever deeper and leave bigger scars, and not even Nick could protect me from himself.

Lies and half-truths hurt not only the liar, but the people they love most.

A sweet gum tree is the chameleon of wood, it’s corky exterior hiding it’s inner ability to imitate anything from cherry to mahogany. But it’s real value, one unrealized by most people, is it’s deep red heart, steady and strong.

I’ll marry you,” I told him decisively. “That way, we can both have kids someday.” He grinned, those dimples emerging in a blaze of glory. “Yeah, you probably would.

Nick? Have you ever…” ”No.” He lifted his head again, studied me. “I’ve thought about it, but it never seemed right.” The idea of him making love to anyone else sent a shaft of pain straight through my middle. “You better wait on me, damn it.” ”I don’t think I have much choice.” He brushed my hair back. “You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted, Alix, the only one I’ll ever want. That’s a promise.

We’re almost there,” I whispered in his ear. “Don’t you die, damn it. If you do, I’ll never speak to you again.

This isn’t a church social, Sweetheart. You aren’t going to be able to save me this time.

Life isn't kind, and we rarely get what we want out of it. We do the best we can, and we keep putting one foot in front of the other.

God, I can’t lose you again.” His whisper was harsh, filled with pain. “Not now, when I’ve waited so long to hold you. I think it would kill me. But I’m so damn scared you’ll hate me when you find out the truth.

But we southerners know that you can insult someone as much as you want so long as you add that "bless her heart" to the end of your comment.

He was the most gorgeous hunk of male it had ever been my privilege to stare at, and darn his hide, he knew exactly what I was thinking. His smile turned to a smug grin to so full of satisfaction, that I couldn’t help myself. I laughed.

You’re not old enough to have a real boyfriend,” he muttered. I stiffened. “If I’m old enough to have babies, then I’m damn well old enough to have a boyfriend,” I ground out. “And just as soon as I decide on who it’s going to be, I’ll let you know.

I love you. There hasn't been a single day in the last 15 years that I haven't regretted not telling you when I had a chance.

The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference. And you couldn’t be indifferent to him if your life depended on it.

The idea of him making love to anyone else sent a shaft of pain straight through my middle. “You better wait on me, damn it.” “I don’t think I have much choice.” He brushed my hair back. “You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted, Alix, the only one I’ll ever want. That’s a promise.

...while I was vowing to save Nick, he had taken on the job of being my protector and staunchest defender

There’s a part of everyone that needs to be taken care of. Denying it exists doesn’t change the truth, it only makes you very lonely.

Mothers. Can’t live with them, can’t hit them over the head with a board.

I’d read enough to know that one of the symptoms of grief was a deep anger at the loved one who’d died, anger that impaired your judgement, made you want to scream and curse because they’d left you. But Nick hadn’t died, and I didn’t realize that I was suffering the symptoms of grief.

That was also the year I discovered Boys. Or maybe I should say they discovered me. By then I knew what they wanted and I wasn’t buying it.

I’m sorry, Nick,” I whispered, slipping his pendant from my neck. “I didn’t know what else to do.

But there are more kinds of hurt than physical ones, hurts that run ever deeper and leave bigger scars, and not even Nick could protect me from himself.

Helping someone because you feel sorry for them is one thing, but doing it because you like them and care about what happens to them is better. That means you aren't doing it for yourself.

Do you want to know the real reason I came back, Alix? It was because of you. You’re my roots. Wherever you are would be home to me.