Quotes from A Red Herring Without Mustard

“Whenever I'm with other people, part of me shrinks a little. Only when I am alone can I fully enjoy my own company.”
― Alan Bradley, quote from A Red Herring Without Mustard

“Compared with my life Cinderella was a spoiled brat.”
― Alan Bradley, quote from A Red Herring Without Mustard

“Sorry, old girl," I said to [my bicycle] Gladys in the gray dishwater light of early morning, "but I have to leave you at home."

I could see that she was disappointed, even though she managed to put on a brave face.

"I need you to stay here as a decoy," I whispered. "When they see you leaning against the greenhouse, they'll think I'm still in bed."

Gladys brightened considerably at the thought of a conspiracy. [...]

At the corner of the garden, I turned, and mouthed the words, "Don't do anything I wouldn't do," and Gladys signaled that she wouldn't.

I was off like a shot.”
― Alan Bradley, quote from A Red Herring Without Mustard

“…because I was only eleven years old, I was wrapped in the best cloak of invisibility in the world.”
― Alan Bradley, quote from A Red Herring Without Mustard

“How very kind of her, ' I said. 'I must remember to send her a card.'

I'd send her a card alright. It would be the Ace of Spades, and I'd mail it anonymously from somewhere other than Bishop's Lacey.”
― Alan Bradley, quote from A Red Herring Without Mustard

“I had long ago discovered that when a word or formula refused to come to mind the best thing for it was to think of something else: tigers for instance or oatmeal. Then when the fugitive word was least expecting it I would suddenly turn the full blaze of my attention back onto it catching the culprit in the beam of my mental torch before it could sneak off again into the darkness.”
― Alan Bradley, quote from A Red Herring Without Mustard

“They seem nice, though, your sisters, really,' Porcelain remarked.
'Ha!' I said. 'Shows what little you know! I hate them!'
'Hate them? I should have thought you'd love them.'
'Of course I love them,' I said.... 'That's why I'm so good at hating them.”
― Alan Bradley, quote from A Red Herring Without Mustard

“I was learning that among friends, a smile can be better than a belly laugh.”
― Alan Bradley, quote from A Red Herring Without Mustard

“Spare us the pout, there’s enough lip in the world without you adding to it.”
― Alan Bradley, quote from A Red Herring Without Mustard

“There’s nothing that a liar hates more than finding out that another liar has lied to them.”
― Alan Bradley, quote from A Red Herring Without Mustard

“It’s not polite to ask ” he said with a slight smile. “One must never ask a policeman his secrets.”

“Why not ”

“For the same reason I don’t ask you yours.”

How I adored this man! Here we were the two of us engaged in a mental game of chess in which both of us knew that one of us was cheating.

At the risk of repetition, how I adored this man!”
― Alan Bradley, quote from A Red Herring Without Mustard

“Death by family silver, I thought, before I could turn off that part of my mind.”
― Alan Bradley, quote from A Red Herring Without Mustard

“It was quite wrong of me Had I heard what I thought I’d heard or were my ears playing hob with me It was more likely that the sun and the moon should suddenly dance a jolly jig in the heavens than that one of my sisters should apologize. It was simply unheard of.”
― Alan Bradley, quote from A Red Herring Without Mustard

“I remembered Father remarking once that if rudeness was not attributable to ignorance it could be taken as a sure sign that one was speaking to a member of the aristocracy.”
― Alan Bradley, quote from A Red Herring Without Mustard

“The very best people are like that. They don't entangle you like flypaper.”
― Alan Bradley, quote from A Red Herring Without Mustard

“It always surprises me after a family row to find that the world outdoors has remained the same. While the passions and feelings that accumulate like noxious gases inside a house seem to condense and cling to the walls and ceilings like old smoke the out-of-doors is different. The landscape seems incapable of accumulating human radiation. Perhaps the wind blows anger away.”
― Alan Bradley, quote from A Red Herring Without Mustard

“I waved my hand like a frantic dust mop fingers spread ludicrously wide apart as if to say “What jolly fun ” What I wanted to do actually was to leap to my feet strike a pose and burst into one of those “Yo-ho for the open road ” songs they always play in the cinema musicals but I stifled the urge and settled for a ghastly grin and an extra twiddle of the fingers.”
― Alan Bradley, quote from A Red Herring Without Mustard

“Oh, there you are, you odious little prawn...”
― Alan Bradley, quote from A Red Herring Without Mustard

“Thinking and prayer are much the same thing anyway, when you stop to think about it -- if that makes any sense. Prayer goes up and thought comes down -- or so it seems. As far as I can tell, that's the only difference.”
― Alan Bradley, quote from A Red Herring Without Mustard

“I had to make water ” I said. It was the classic female excuse and no male in recorded history had ever questioned it.
“I see ” the Inspector said and left it at that.
Later I would have a quick piddle behind the caravan for insurance purposes. No one would be any the wiser.”
― Alan Bradley, quote from A Red Herring Without Mustard

“ALONE AT LAST! Whenever I’m with other people, part of me shrinks a little. Only when I am alone can I fully enjoy my own company.”
― Alan Bradley, quote from A Red Herring Without Mustard

“You must have loved her awfully," I said, realizing even as I spoke that I made it sound as if Fenella were already dead. "Yes, sometimes very much," Porcelain said reflectively, "-and sometimes not at all." She must have seen my startled reaction. "Love's not some big river that flows on and on forever, and if you believe it is, you're a bloody fool. It can be dammed up until nothing's left but a trickle..." "Or stopped completely, I added.”
― Alan Bradley, quote from A Red Herring Without Mustard

“If there is anything more delicious than a sausage roasted over an open Bunsen burner, I can't image what it might be--Porcelain and I tore into our food like cannibals after a missionary famine.”
― Alan Bradley, quote from A Red Herring Without Mustard

“As I had been forced to learn at a very young age, there’s no better way to mask a lie—or at least a glaring omission—than to wrap it in an emotional outpouring of truth.”
― Alan Bradley, quote from A Red Herring Without Mustard

“Prayer goes up and thought comes down -- or so it seems. As far as I can tell, that's the only difference.”
― Alan Bradley, quote from A Red Herring Without Mustard

“For all practical purposes, Feely's enthusiasms stopped where her skin ended.”
― Alan Bradley, quote from A Red Herring Without Mustard

“I remembered that Johnson had declared portrait painting to be an improper employment for a woman. “Public practice of any art and staring in men’s faces is very indelicate in a female,” he had said.

Well I’d seen Dr. Johnson’s face in the book’s frontispiece and I couldn’t imagine anyone male or female wanting to stare into it for any length of time —the man was an absolute toad.”
― Alan Bradley, quote from A Red Herring Without Mustard

“Perhaps the wind blows anger away.”
― Alan Bradley, quote from A Red Herring Without Mustard

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Popular quotes

“He approached the great glass barrier dividing the room, and the speaker at the end of the table. "Cyclops?" he whispered, stepping closer, clearing his tight throat, "Cyclops, it's me, Gordon."
The glow in the pearly lens was subdued. But the row of little lights still flashed--a complex pattern that repeated over and over like an urgent message from a distant ship in some lost code--ever, hypnotically, the same.
Gordon felt a frantic dread rise within him, as when, during his boyhood, he had encountered his grandfather lying perfectly still on the porch swing, and feared to find that the beloved old man had died.
The pattern of lights repeated, over and over.
Gordon wondered. How many people would recall, after the hell of the last seventeen years, that the parity displays of a great supercomputer never repeated themselves? Gordon remembered a cyberneticist friend telling him the patterns of light were like snowflakes, none ever the same as any other.
"Cyclops," he said evenly, "Answer me! I demand you answer--in the name of decency! In the name of the United St--"
He stopped. He couldn't bring himself to meet this lie with another. Here, the only living mind he would fool would be himself.
The room was warmer than it had seemed during his interview. He looked for, and found, the little vents through which cool air could be directed at a visitor seated in the guest chair, giving an impression of great cold just beyond the glass wall.
"Dry ice," he muttered, "to fool the citizens of Oz.”
― David Brin, quote from The Postman

“We deny the parts of ourselves that we deem unacceptable rather than accepting the fact that we're all less than perfect.”
― Richard Carlson, quote from Don't Sweat the Small Stuff ... and it's all small stuff: Simple Ways to Keep the Little Things from Taking Over Your Life

“Everything is illegal. Whenever it needs to be illegal it is. ”
― William C. Samples, quote from Fe Fi FOE Comes

“...
'This is what Jehovah says:
“Let not the wise man boast about his wisdom;
Let not the mighty man boast about his mightiness;
And let not the rich man boast about his riches.”

“But let the one boasting boast about this:
That he has insight and knowledge of me,
That I am Jehovah, the One showing loyal love, justice, and righteousness in the earth,
For in these things I take delight,” declares Jehovah.'

– Jeremiah 9:23, 24”
― quote from New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures

“Giraldus claimed that he had heard about Eleanor's adultery with Geoffrey from the saintly Bishop Hugh of Lincoln, who had learned of it from Henry II of England, Geoffrey's son and Eleanor's second husband. Eleanor was estranged from Henry at the time Giraldus was writing, and the king was trying to secure an annulment of their marriage from the Pope. It would have been to his advantage to declare her an adulterous wife who had had carnal relations with his father, for that in itself would have rendered their marriage incestuous and would have provided prima facie grounds for its dissolution.”
― Alison Weir, quote from Eleanor of Aquitaine: A Life

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