Richard Paul Evans · 326 pages
Rating: (29.1K votes)
“Mr. Vey, you cannot be stuffed into a locker without your consent." Dallstrom said, which may be the dumbest thing ever said in a school. "You should have resisted. That's like blaming someone who was struck by lightning for getting in the way.”
“If you passed me walking home from school, you probably wouldn't even notice me. That's because I'm just a kid like you.
I go to school like you. I get bullied like you. Unlike you, I live in Idaho.
Don't ask me what state Idaho is in––news flash––Idaho IS a state.
~Michael Vey”
“. . . Harboring an emotion as powerful as gratitude has power of its own.”
“Mr. Dallstrom is a bald, scarecrow of a man with a poochy stomache. Think of a pregnant Abraham Lincoln.”
“I love when I can reboot people when they are being mean to others...”
“If love is our reason we may veer off course sometimes, but we'll never be lost.”
“Zits,” I said. “Z-I-T-S. Actually, I don’t think you even need electric bolts. You could just breathe on us.” I looked him in the eyes and smiled. “Seriously, dude, when was the last time you brushed your teeth?” “Shut up!” “No, really. Did you eat a diaper?” “Shut up!” he shouted. He squinted. “Do you know how much I enjoyed guarding your mother? I shocked her at least a dozen times just to watch her squeal.” “Yeah, well you could have just sat next to her and let her smell you. That would have been much worse. I’ve had hamsters with better hygiene.” “Enough! Don’t think I won’t electrocute you, Vey!” Taylor looked at me as if I’d lost my mind. “It’s his Tourette’s, he can’t help it.” “I’m scared, Zits,” I said. “You know Hatch would have your head if you did. But here’s my promise: after I’m in charge, my first command is to make you my shoeshine boy. You’ll be following me around with a towel.” “You’ll never be in charge.” “No, that’s what Hatch said. You heard him. He wants my power. I’m not kidding, Zits. When Hatch was trying to get me to join you guys, he promised me that you would be my servant.” Zeus looked at me with a worried expression. After a moment he shouted, “Shut up! And stop calling me Zits!” “I don’t think I will. In fact, it’s going to be the first rule I make. I’m going to have everyone else call you that.” “I don’t care what Hatch says. I’m gonna fry you, Vey.” “Oooh, now I’m really shaking. You don’t have enough juice in you to light a flashlight.” “Michael!” Taylor shouted. “Stop it. He’s got a temper. I’ve seen it.” “You should listen to the cheerleader, Vey.” He stepped toward me. “You think you’re so cool. But you can’t shoot electricity like me, can you? You’re just a flesh-covered battery.” “And you’re a flesh-covered outhouse. You should tie a couple hundred of those car air fresheners around your neck.” “Last warning!” Zeus shouted. “I’m not kidding, Zits. There are porta-potties with better aromas. Would a little deodorant kill you? What was the last year you took a bath?”
“As you grow older, Michael, you’ll learn an important lesson—that most people spend their entire lives wishing for a second chance to do what they should have done right the first time.”
“Hatch never forgives and he never forgets,” Zeus said. “He’s like an elephant with anger management issues.”
“Taylor, McKenna, Abigail, and Taylor simultaneously crouched over in pain.”
“But promises based on ignorance always prove disappointing.”
“The worst madman is the one who fails to consider the possibility of somebody else being mad too.”
“Then it sounds to me like you love her. And if you love her, then tell her she belongs to you and she needs to get over it. Show her who's in charge. That's what I did with Sara."
Zach seemed less than pleased when they all laughed so hard Conall actually fell off the bed.”
“Kafamda bir sessizlik yuvarı büyüyor, genişledikçe genişleyip bütün kafatasımı kaplayarak kocaman, bomboş bir alan yaratıyor. Yavaş ilerleyen bir gerçeklik sızıntısından muzdaribim. Şeylerin sadece sınırlarını görüyorum, özlerini değil, üstelik sınırlar bile belirsizleşiyor artık.”
“Keeping secrets will always lead to unhappiness and communication is the key to love.”
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