Melody Beattie · 288 pages
Rating: (0.9K votes)
“Codependency is about normal behaviors taken too far. It’s about crossing lines.”
“When you let go of fear and the need to control, you’ll experience how mysterious, sacred, and interesting Life can be.”
“It’s not my place to tell him to stop drinking,” Shelly said. “But being with him or talking to him when he’s drunk is my business.” That’s the difference between boundaries and controlling. We can’t make a person stop drinking. But we can refuse to talk to or date that person. Boundaries concern our behavior—what we will or won’t do. It’s not a boundary if we can’t enforce it. Be clear. If people have room to misinterpret, they will. People hear what they want to and what causes the least pain. We won’t be clear with others if we’re not clear with ourselves. Sometimes we don’t like their behavior, but we don’t want to lose the relationship, so our boundaries are murky.”
“It’s not what we don’t know that hurts us,” people say. “It’s what we believe is true that isn’t that does the damage.” There”
“We don’t learn about taking care of ourselves the way we learn math. Although information is useful and sometimes critical, self-care isn’t only an intellectual process. It’s our experiences that change us.”
“Take one or two steps more. Right around the bend is when we’ll see the Light. God isn’t late. We’re early. Don’t be impatient. Instead, be present for the moment we’re in now.”
“Set boundaries even when you’re scared, and when it doesn’t feel comfortable to do. Eventually setting boundaries will happen naturally for you,”
“We can confuse love with dependency, manipulation, and neediness. None of those are love. Love is when we want other people to be who they are.”
“Enrique will be left with his father, Luis, who has been separated from Lourdes for three years.”
“I hate when people do this. I hate when people hide their cards to feel secret and strong. That's no way of dealing with anything.”
“[Democracy] is as without plans as it is without energy, as incapable of harm as it is incapable of good. It is powerless and passive. It lets society marcher tout seul without trying to direct it. Well, in the present state of affairs, it is perfect, no? In order to prosper? America does not need either leadership or deep-laid plans or great efforts, but liberty and still more liberty. The reason for this is that no one yet has any interest in abusing liberty. but wait, monsieur. It may take a century but le fou viendra.”
“When you are in pain, a moment is an eternity.”
“Sugar," Tara said in a voice that was pure Pissed-Off South. "You need to go far, far away."
A few weeks ago, he'd have taken that to mean she didn't want to see his face within a six-hundred-mile radius. Now he knew the truth. He distracted her. He could live with that. "Came to see if I can help."
"I think I know how to make burgers," she said smoothly. "But bless your heart."
In other words, f*** off and die.”
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