Melody Beattie · 288 pages
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“Codependency is about normal behaviors taken too far. It’s about crossing lines.”
― Melody Beattie, quote from The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation
“When you let go of fear and the need to control, you’ll experience how mysterious, sacred, and interesting Life can be.”
― Melody Beattie, quote from The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation
“It’s not my place to tell him to stop drinking,” Shelly said. “But being with him or talking to him when he’s drunk is my business.” That’s the difference between boundaries and controlling. We can’t make a person stop drinking. But we can refuse to talk to or date that person. Boundaries concern our behavior—what we will or won’t do. It’s not a boundary if we can’t enforce it. Be clear. If people have room to misinterpret, they will. People hear what they want to and what causes the least pain. We won’t be clear with others if we’re not clear with ourselves. Sometimes we don’t like their behavior, but we don’t want to lose the relationship, so our boundaries are murky.”
― Melody Beattie, quote from The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation
“It’s not what we don’t know that hurts us,” people say. “It’s what we believe is true that isn’t that does the damage.” There”
― Melody Beattie, quote from The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation
“We don’t learn about taking care of ourselves the way we learn math. Although information is useful and sometimes critical, self-care isn’t only an intellectual process. It’s our experiences that change us.”
― Melody Beattie, quote from The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation
“Take one or two steps more. Right around the bend is when we’ll see the Light. God isn’t late. We’re early. Don’t be impatient. Instead, be present for the moment we’re in now.”
― Melody Beattie, quote from The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation
“Set boundaries even when you’re scared, and when it doesn’t feel comfortable to do. Eventually setting boundaries will happen naturally for you,”
― Melody Beattie, quote from The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation
“We can confuse love with dependency, manipulation, and neediness. None of those are love. Love is when we want other people to be who they are.”
― Melody Beattie, quote from The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation
Melody Beattie
Born place: in St. Paul, Minnesota, The United States
Born date May 26, 1948
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“As a poet and as a mathematician, he would reason well; as a mere mathematician, he could not have reasoned at all.”
― Edgar Allan Poe, quote from The Purloined Letter
“There are some things in this world you can never get back... There's no reclaiming that piece of the past. Don't you think it'd be better to abandon it completely and consider instead what you did wrong and learn from it?”
― Fuyumi Ono, quote from The Twelve Kingdoms: Skies of Dawn
“Because you’re a straight, Laura.” “Stop calling me that!” Laura said. “What makes you so different?” “Look at you,” Carlotta said. “You’re educated. You’re smart. You’re beautiful. You’re married to a goddamn architect. You have a wonderful baby and friends in high places.” Her eyes narrowed; she began to hiss. “Then look at me. I’m a cracker. Ugly. No family. Daddy used to beat me up. I never finished school—I can’t hardly read and write. I’m diselxic, or whatever they call it. You ever wonder what happens to people who can’t read and write? In your fucking beautiful Net world with all its fucking data? No, you never thought of that, did you? If I found a place for myself, it was in the teeth of people like you.”
― Bruce Sterling, quote from Islands in the Net
“Miser Shen is preparing to spend the night with a goat.”
― Barry Hughart, quote from The Chronicles of Master Li and Number Ten Ox
“I was aesthetically impressed but failed to understand the importance of it. Unfortunately, Braxaná do not express ignorance; therefore I couldn’t ask, “What is it?” as directly as I would have liked. After a moment I looked up at him, the elevation of one eyebrow indicating that I was intrigued enough to hear what he had come to say.”
― C.S. Friedman, quote from In Conquest Born
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