The Marble Collector

When it comes to my memory there are three categories: things I want to forget, things I can't forget, and things I'd forgotten until I remember them.

People don't know that they do that to people when they do the things they shouldn't. Hurtful things are roots,they spread ,branch out, creep under the surface touching other parts of the lives of those they hurt. It's never one mistake, it's never one moment, it becomes a series of moments, each moment growing roots and spurting in different directions. And over time, they become muddled like an old twisted tree, strangling itself and tying itself up in knots.

When a member of the family leaves or dies, it changes the dynamics of a family. People move and shift, take up places they either wanted to have or are forced into roles they never wanted. It happens without anybody noticing, but it's shifting all the time.

My mother says that I have a knack for remembering what others forget. Sometimes it's a curse; nobody likes it when there's somebody to remember what they've tried so hard to bury.

Sometimes I have to remind myself to breathe. You would think it would be an innate human instinct but no, i inhale and forget to exhale and so I find my body rigid, all tensed up, heart pounding , chest tight with an anxious head wondering what's wrong.

Some things are better left the way they are

In this place, fun and laughing makes them angry. We are not here to be leaders, we are here to serve.

When a member of the family leaves or dies, it changes the dynamics of a family. People move and shift, take up places they either wanted to have or are forced into roles they never wanted. It happens without anybody noticing, but it’s shifting all the time.