Remember Me?

The trouble with giving yourself a pep talk is, that deep down you know it's all bullshit.

It's like I'm thirteen again and he's my crush. All I'm aware of in this entire roomful of people is him. Where he is, what he's doing, who he's talking to.

Okay. Now my skin is really prickling. I've read all the Harry Potter books, all five of them. I don't remember any half-blood prince. "What's this?" Trying to sound casual, I point at the ad, "What's Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince?" "That's the latest book," Garth the other trainee, says. "It came out ages ago." I can't help gasping. "There's a sixth Harry Potter?" "There's a seventh out soon!" Diana steps forward eagerly. "And guess what happens at the end of book six-" "Shh!" exclaims Nicole, the other nurse. "Don't tell her!

The thing with giving up is you never know. You never know whether you could have done the job. And I'm sick of not knowing about my life.

Women need chocolate. It's a scientific fact.

All this time, I wasn't hungry for success, I was hungry.

But you can't stay with people because of guilt. Or because they can drive a speedboat.

I'm Cinderella. No, I'm better than Cinderella, because she only got the prince, didn't she? I'm Cinderella with fab teeth and a shit-hot job.

It really is the year 2007. Which means I must be... Oh my God. I'm twenty-eight. I'm old.

Jennifer Aniston and Her New Man'" I read the words aloud uncertainly. "What new man? Why would she need a new man?" "Oh yes." Nicole follows my gaze, unconcerned. "You know she split up from Brad Pitt?" "Jennifer and Brad split?" I stare up at her, aghast. "You can't be serious! They can't have done!" "He went off with Angelina Jolie. They've got a daughter." "No!" I wail. "But Jen and Brad were so perfect together! They looked so good and they had that lovely wedding picture and everything...." "They're divorced now." Nicole shrugs, like it's no big deal. I can't get over this. Jennifer and Brad divorced. The world is a different place.

My voice is clotted with unshed tears.

There's genuine pain in Eric's eyes. And I feel a stab of guilt. But you can't stay with people because of guilt.

Jeez Louise. I know why rich people are so thin: it's from trekking around their humongous houses the whole time.

But... we'll always have Paris." I pause, thinking this through. "At least, you'll have it. And you can tell me about it.

You love the bitch from hell? Well then, you must be nuts.

He’s not a food fascist,” I say, feeling an immediate need to defend Eric. “He just…cares about nutrition.” “He’s Hitler. If he could round up every loaf of bread and put it in a camp, he would.

He leans forward and his mouth brushes briefly against mine, and I feel... nothing. I was hoping our first kiss would trigger all sorts of memories or sensations, maybe a sudden image of Paris or our wedding, or our first snog. But as he draws away I feel totally, one hundred percent blank. I can see the anticipation in Eric's face and quickly search for something encouraging to say. "That was lovely! Very..." I trail off, unable to think of a single word other than quick, which I'm not sure hits the right note. "It didn't bring back any memories?" Eric is studying my face. "Well...no," I say apologetically. "But, I mean, that doesn't mean it wasn't really... I mean it was... I feel quite turned on!" The words come out before I can stop them. What the hell did I say that for? I don't feel turned on. "Really?" Eric lights up and he puts his briefcase down. Oh no. No no no. Nooo.

You´re sure nothing happened when you bumped your head?" she says at last. "Like...personality transplant?

like that time I used false eyelashes with dodgy glue from the market, then tottered into the bathroom the next morning to find one eye glued shut with what looked like a dead spider on top of it. Really attractive, Lexi.

I collapse on my pillows in relief, my heart pounding. Thank fuck. I don’t have a child. And

And just so you know, Lexi... I love you." "Really?" I beam delightedly before I can stop myself. "I mean... fab. Thanks very much!