Groucho Marx · 272 pages
Rating: (329 votes)
“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
― Groucho Marx, quote from The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx
“I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.”
― Groucho Marx, quote from The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx
“Die, my dear? Why that's the last thing I'll do!”
― Groucho Marx, quote from The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx
“Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication”
― Groucho Marx, quote from The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx
“I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.”
― Groucho Marx, quote from The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx
“In a Chicago cafe the other night, an elderly man passed a table.
“There goes George,” observed an onlooker. “When he was young, he was a handsome guy and had many companies. Left a wife and two kids to starve, and ran off with another woman. And now look at him. Old, broke and very sad.”
“That’s the way-it-goes,” nodded Elly Kleinman. “Time wounds all heels.”
― Groucho Marx, quote from The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx
“What time do you need to get ready for college boy?” I looked at my watch. “I probably should leave soon. Do you think it’s strange that he’s taking me?”
Levi shook his head. “I would find it odd if anybody didn’t want to take you anywhere you wanted to go.”
― Elizabeth Eulberg, quote from Better off Friends
“Hey, when the skies turn black, I will reach you. I will pull you from the darkness and bring you home. Always.”
― Randi Cooley Wilson, quote from Revelation
“Not exactly hard, is it?”
“That’s what she said,” Kate interjected.
Matt shook his head. “And this is where I chose to lay my affections,” he muttered, like it was just the latest in a series of bad life choices he’d made.”
― Lauren James, quote from The Next Together
“If two people could make each other smile and laugh and forget all the pain and darkness in the world for a moment, why should we feel ashamed of it?”
― Elliot Wake, quote from Cam Girl
“The son of a cripple might be a cripple, but the son of tigers won’t be a dog.”
― Will Wight, quote from Unsouled
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