Quotes from The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx ·  272 pages

Rating: (329 votes)


“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
― Groucho Marx, quote from The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx


“I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.”
― Groucho Marx, quote from The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx


“Die, my dear? Why that's the last thing I'll do!”
― Groucho Marx, quote from The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx


“Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication”
― Groucho Marx, quote from The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx


“I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.”
― Groucho Marx, quote from The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx



“In a Chicago cafe the other night, an elderly man passed a table.

“There goes George,” observed an onlooker. “When he was young, he was a handsome guy and had many companies. Left a wife and two kids to starve, and ran off with another woman. And now look at him. Old, broke and very sad.”

“That’s the way-it-goes,” nodded Elly Kleinman. “Time wounds all heels.”
― Groucho Marx, quote from The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx


About the author

Groucho Marx
Born place: in New York , New York, The United States
Born date October 2, 1890
See more on GoodReads

Popular quotes

“A strange thought occurs to me. There is of course no point of similarity between yourself and Stapleton in terms of circumstance or character. And yet there is one peculiar commonality. Both you and Stapleton know. And for your separate reasons, cannot or will not speak of it to anyone. The odd result of this is that I feel quite free in the company of either one of you, in a way that I cannot be free with any other man.”
― Diana Gabaldon, quote from Lord John And The Hand Of Devils


“Nobody knows, nobody can ever know, not even in memory, because there are moments in time that are not knowable.”
― Amitav Ghosh, quote from The Shadow Lines


“Understand: as an individual you cannot stop the tide of fantasy and escapism sweeping a culture. But you can stand as an individual bulwark to this trend and create power for yourself. You were born with the greatest weapon in all of nature—the rational, conscious mind. It has the power to expand your vision far and wide, giving you the unique capacity to distinguish patterns in events, learn from the past, glimpse into the future, see through appearances. Circumstances are conspiring to dull that weapon and render it useless by turning you inward and making you afraid of reality.
Consider it war. You must fight this tendency as best you can and move in the opposite direction. You must turn outward and become a keen observer of all that is around you. You are doing battle against all the fantasies that are thrown at you. You are tightening your connection to the environment. You want clarity, not escape and confusion. Moving in this direction will instantly bring you power among so many dreamers.”
― 50 Cent, quote from The 50th Law


“Brimstone: '...I shall smite thee with my fightful blasting wand so that thy teeth shall drop out, thy skin shall wrinkle, thou shalt have boils on thy bottom and be subject to night sweats, ringing in the ears, falling sickness, flaking dandruff, arthritis, lumbago, uncontrollable dribbling, deafness, runny nose, and ingrowing toenails. Amen.”
― Herbie Brennan, quote from Faerie Wars


“Ya sé, desde luego, que la Atlántida de Platón nunca existió en realidad. Por esta misma razón, nunca podrá morir. Siempre será un ideal, un sueño de perfección , una meta que inspirará a los hombres en la posteridad.”
― Arthur C. Clarke, quote from The Songs Of Distant Earth


Interesting books

2010: Odyssey Two
(43.1K)
2010: Odyssey Two
by Arthur C. Clarke
Every Other Day
(5.8K)
Every Other Day
by Jennifer Lynn Barnes
The Magnificent Ambersons
(8.6K)
The Magnificent Ambe...
by Booth Tarkington
Rights of Man
(8.3K)
Rights of Man
by Thomas Paine
Party Monster: A Fabulous But True Tale of Murder in Clubland
(6.8K)
Party Monster: A Fab...
by James St. James
Undead and Unemployed
(31.3K)
Undead and Unemploye...
by MaryJanice Davidson

About BookQuoters

BookQuoters is a community of passionate readers who enjoy sharing the most meaningful, memorable and interesting quotes from great books. As the world communicates more and more via texts, memes and sound bytes, short but profound quotes from books have become more relevant and important. For some of us a quote becomes a mantra, a goal or a philosophy by which we live. For all of us, quotes are a great way to remember a book and to carry with us the author’s best ideas.

We thoughtfully gather quotes from our favorite books, both classic and current, and choose the ones that are most thought-provoking. Each quote represents a book that is interesting, well written and has potential to enhance the reader’s life. We also accept submissions from our visitors and will select the quotes we feel are most appealing to the BookQuoters community.

Founded in 2023, BookQuoters has quickly become a large and vibrant community of people who share an affinity for books. Books are seen by some as a throwback to a previous world; conversely, gleaning the main ideas of a book via a quote or a quick summary is typical of the Information Age but is a habit disdained by some diehard readers. We feel that we have the best of both worlds at BookQuoters; we read books cover-to-cover but offer you some of the highlights. We hope you’ll join us.