Groucho Marx · 272 pages
Rating: (329 votes)
“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
― Groucho Marx, quote from The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx
“I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.”
― Groucho Marx, quote from The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx
“Die, my dear? Why that's the last thing I'll do!”
― Groucho Marx, quote from The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx
“Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication”
― Groucho Marx, quote from The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx
“I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.”
― Groucho Marx, quote from The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx
“In a Chicago cafe the other night, an elderly man passed a table.
“There goes George,” observed an onlooker. “When he was young, he was a handsome guy and had many companies. Left a wife and two kids to starve, and ran off with another woman. And now look at him. Old, broke and very sad.”
“That’s the way-it-goes,” nodded Elly Kleinman. “Time wounds all heels.”
― Groucho Marx, quote from The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx
“It turned out Kip was exactly where Jason had seen him. Trevor, Willow, and Jason returned to the police station to write up the paperwork.”
― John O'Riley, quote from Inheritance
“There's always more to life than money, Will. Money is just a means to an end. It shouldn't be the goal. Annnie Lambert”
― David Baldacci, quote from The Innocent
“Alcoholism is a disease,” she said. “Like athlete’s foot. Or herpes. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Luker and I have lots of friends who are alcoholics. And speed freaks too.” “Well,”
― Michael McDowell, quote from The Elementals
“Oh. Oh, wow. This was going downhill fast even though Rider looked like he wanted a bucket of popcorn.”
― Jennifer L. Armentrout, quote from The Problem with Forever
“I will pull your pancreas out through your nose and feed it back to you in a drip inserted into your anus is that clear?”
― Sara Wolf, quote from Love Me Never
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