Jess Rothenberg · 375 pages
Rating: (14.5K votes)
“You can obsess and obsess over how things ended—what you did wrong or could have done differently—but there's not much of a point. It's not like it'll change anything. So really, why worry?”
― Jess Rothenberg, quote from The Catastrophic History of You and Me
“The trouble is, sometimes words are like arrows. Once you shoot them, there's no going back.”
― Jess Rothenberg, quote from The Catastrophic History of You and Me
“I was falling. Falling through time and space and stars and sky and everything in between. I fell for days and weeks and what felt like lifetime across lifetimes. I fell until I forgot I was falling.”
― Jess Rothenberg, quote from The Catastrophic History of You and Me
“War is sweet to those who have never fought.”
― Jess Rothenberg, quote from The Catastrophic History of You and Me
“My heart didn't fail, someone failed my heart.”
― Jess Rothenberg, quote from The Catastrophic History of You and Me
“No matter how much you think you know a person—no matter how pretty they act, or how popular they seem, you can never know what their lives are really like.”
― Jess Rothenberg, quote from The Catastrophic History of You and Me
“There’s no such thing as too much Disney.”
― Jess Rothenberg, quote from The Catastrophic History of You and Me
“There’s always that one guy who gets a hold on you. Not like your best friend’s brother who gets you in a headlock kind of hold. Or the little kid you’re babysitting who attaches himself to your leg kind of hold.
I’m talking epic. Life changing. The “can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t do your homework, can’t stop giggling, can’t remember anything but his smile” kind of hold. Like, Wesley and Buttercup proportions. Harry and Sally. Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy. The kind of hold in all your favorite ’80s songs, like the “Must Have Been Love”s, the “Take My Breath Away”s, the “Eternal Flame”s—the ones you sing into a hairbrush-microphone at the top of your lungs with your best friends on a Saturday night.”
― Jess Rothenberg, quote from The Catastrophic History of You and Me
“Turns out, hell's not so much a burning, scalding pit of fire and misery. It's actually much, much worse than that. Hell is when the people you love the most reach right into your soul and rip it out of you. And they do it because they can.”
― Jess Rothenberg, quote from The Catastrophic History of You and Me
“The problem is, there is absolutely nothing "fun" about falling in love. Nope. Mostly it just makes you feel sick and crazy and anxious and nervous that it's going to end miserably and ruin your whole life. And guess what: Then it does.”
― Jess Rothenberg, quote from The Catastrophic History of You and Me
“When you're in love, the world is brighter. Sunnier. The air smells flowerier, and your hair is silkier, and suddenly you find yourself smiling at babies and strangers and old couples walking down the beach holding hands.”
― Jess Rothenberg, quote from The Catastrophic History of You and Me
“Love is no game. People cut their ears off over this stuff. People jump off the Eiffel Tower and sell all their possessions and move to Alaska to live with the grizzly bears, and then they get eaten and nobody hears them when they scream for help. That’s right. Falling in love is pretty much the same thing as being eaten alive by a grizzly bear.”
― Jess Rothenberg, quote from The Catastrophic History of You and Me
“Sometimes, friends drift in and out of our lives like fashion accessories—in one season and out the next.”
― Jess Rothenberg, quote from The Catastrophic History of You and Me
“In the midst of happiness or despair
in sorrow or in joy
in pleasure or in pain:
Do what is right and you will be at peace.”
― Jess Rothenberg, quote from The Catastrophic History of You and Me
“For the record, I would like to point out that it is NOT being obsessive to memorize a boy's schedule so that you can accidentally bump into him. It is called being efficient.”
― Jess Rothenberg, quote from The Catastrophic History of You and Me
“But the sort of sucky thing is, time doesn’t necessarily heal all wounds. Sometimes, it just makes the wounds worse.”
― Jess Rothenberg, quote from The Catastrophic History of You and Me
“News flash, Bozo. Don't ever tell a girl to relax. It only makes us madder.”
― Jess Rothenberg, quote from The Catastrophic History of You and Me
“You did love me," I whispered. "Just not the same way I loved you.”
― Jess Rothenberg, quote from The Catastrophic History of You and Me
“Hell is when people you love the most reach right into your soul and rip it out of you. And they do it because they can.”
― Jess Rothenberg, quote from The Catastrophic History of You and Me
“All of a sudden I felt invisible. Forgotten. Like the universe had played a really mean practical joke on me, even though I've never done anything to deserve it.”
― Jess Rothenberg, quote from The Catastrophic History of You and Me
“The problem with time is, sometimes there's just too much of it.”
― Jess Rothenberg, quote from The Catastrophic History of You and Me
“He gave me a small smile, and in that smile I saw our whole catastrophic history playing out before my eyes.”
― Jess Rothenberg, quote from The Catastrophic History of You and Me
“Wait for me forever. Wait for me, for always.”
― Jess Rothenberg, quote from The Catastrophic History of You and Me
“Forever is a pretty long time. Maybe longer than you think.”
― Jess Rothenberg, quote from The Catastrophic History of You and Me
“News flash: The whole thing is a huge mess and a giant nightmare and it’s all about to explode in your face and you have no idea what
you’ve gotten yourself into. Love is no game. People cut their ears off over this stuff. People jump off the Eiffel Tower and sell all their
possessions and move to Alaska to live with the grizzly bears, and then they get eaten and nobody hears them when they scream for help.
That’s right. Falling in love is pretty much the same thing as being eaten alive by a grizzly bear.
Believe me, I should know.”
― Jess Rothenberg, quote from The Catastrophic History of You and Me
“And yes, he tells you that you're beautiful, and suddenly, you are.”
― Jess Rothenberg, quote from The Catastrophic History of You and Me
“Because love is worth it after all.”
― Jess Rothenberg, quote from The Catastrophic History of You and Me
“And yes, when he kisses you, the rest of the world disappears and your brain shuts off and all you can feel are his lips and nothing else matters.”
― Jess Rothenberg, quote from The Catastrophic History of You and Me
“One nice thing about heaven is that you can relive all your favorite moments and memories pretty much as many times as you want—sort of like a DVD of your whole life. Pause, rewind, fast-forward, slowwww motion, all day, every day.”
― Jess Rothenberg, quote from The Catastrophic History of You and Me
Jess Rothenberg
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“Let us follow Ezekiel’s eyewitness account a little further: “Now as I beheld the living creatures, behold one wheel upon the earth by the living creatures, with his four faces. The appearance of the wheels and their work was like unto the color of a beryl: and they four had one likeness: and their appearance and their work was as it were a wheel in the middle of a wheel. When they went they went upon their four sides: and they turned not as they went. As for their rings, they were so high that they were dreadful; and their rings were full of eyes round about them four. And when the living creatures went, the wheels went by them: and when the living creatures were lifted up from the earth, the wheels were lifted up.”
― Erich von Däniken, quote from Chariots of The Gods
“He’s not my dad,” Kaira said. “Just because he married my— As soon as I turn eighteen I’m firing his ass! Then I’ll call you.”
― Louis Sachar, quote from Small Steps
“She had never, in her whole life, been satisfied with peace.”
― Rosamund Hodge, quote from Crimson Bound
“Unfortunately for Ben and Granny, it turns out that ancient poo does still pong.)”
― David Walliams, quote from Gangsta Granny
“Education for immediate effective consumption is more popular than ever, and nobody wants to think of the long term, or the intellectual tone of the nation.”
― Robertson Davies, quote from The Rebel Angels
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