Wendy Mogel · 304 pages
Rating: (3.2K votes)
“The sages advise us to study Torah lishma-"for its own sake" rather than to impress others with our scholarship. A paradox of parenting is that if we love our children for their own sake rather than for their achievements, it's more likely that they will reach their true potential.”
“If we want to give our children what they need to thrive, we must honor their basic nature- boyish or girlish, introverted or extroverted, wild or mellow.”
“A Hasidic teaching says, "If your child has a talent to be a baker, don't tell him to be a doctor." Judaism holds that every child is made in the divine image. When we ignore a child's intrinsic strengths in an effort to push him toward our notion of extraordinary achievement, we are undermining God's plan.”
“No one is born feeling grateful; it’s an acquired skill. That’s why traditional Jewish law forbids spending money on the Sabbath. God commands us to stop shopping and count our blessings on that one day because he knows that left on our own, we wouldn’t be so inclined.”
“Unsure how to find grace and security in the complex world we’ve inherited, we try to fill up the spaces in our children’s lives with stuff: birthday entertainments, lessons, rooms full of toys and equipment, tutors and therapists. But material pleasures can’t buy peace of mind, and all the excess leads to more anxiety—parents fear that their children will not be able to sustain this rarefied lifestyle and will fall off the mountain the parents have built for them.”
“Real protection means teaching children to manage risks on their own, not shielding them from every hazard.”
“One of the most generous gifts you can give your child is to study her temperament, and once you've learned it, work to accept it.”
“You carried my heart in your hands tonight," he said. "But I have felt as if you carried it long before that.”
“Sam’s body language looked pretty stiff. I was too far away to hear, but I imagined her conversation with Alex was something like:
Sam: Awkward.
Alex: Awkward, awkward.
Sam (nodding): Awkward, awkward, awkward.”
“Who does not tremble when he considers how to deal with his wife?’ asked Henry VIII in his treatise A Defence of the Seven Sacraments; ‘for not only is he bound to love her, but so to live with her that he may return her to God pure and without stain, when God who gave shall demand His own again.’ Marriage”
“[A]t bottom, and just in the deepest and most important things, we are unutterably alone, and for one person to be able to advise or even help another, a lot must happen, a lot must go well, a whole constellation of things must come right in order once to succeed.”
“I have come here not to find answers, but to find a way to live in a world without any.”
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