Jody Gehrman · 255 pages
Rating: (2.7K votes)
“Sometimes, a girl just has to dive under the duvet and regroup.”
― Jody Gehrman, quote from Confessions of a Triple Shot Betty
“Sure, okay, I'll pick up some cat litter. Anything else?"
"Watch your back, G." Then she hung up.
Hero paused in her sobbing to look at me quizzically. "Why does your mom want cat litter? You guys don't even have a cat."
"She uses it for..." I searched my brain madly, but all I could come up with was "teaching."
"She uses cat litter to teach English?"
I nodded. "She's kind of unconventional in her methods."
Hero frowned. "But how does she use it?"
The girl was relentless when she fixated on something. "Um, when their papers are really bad, she gives them a little bag of cat litter. It's her way of telling them their writing is crap." I laughed. "She's kooky.”
― Jody Gehrman, quote from Confessions of a Triple Shot Betty
“Think of it as a life experience," I mumbled. "Isn't your dad always saying we need more of that?"
"I don't think prancing around PJ Jamieson's pool in our underwear is exactly what he had in mind.”
― Jody Gehrman, quote from Confessions of a Triple Shot Betty
“La-di-dah, just out for a little spin, don't mind me.”
― Jody Gehrman, quote from Confessions of a Triple Shot Betty
“Went home briefly to get my halter dress for Hero's party, and Mom was waiting for me at the kitchen table. Either she's psychic, or she totally reads my journal, because I haven't said a word about Ben, but somehow she knows something is up.
She was siting with a tray of peanut butter crackers, milk, and about twenty pamphlets on STDs she got from her friend Connie, a nurse at Kaiser. When she started showing me pictures of genital warts, I put my cracker down and said, 'Mom, is this really necessary?' She said, 'Honey, I just want you to understand the risks.'
'Yeah, thanks. Now I'm so traumatized I won't have sex until I'm a senior citizen.'
She smiled. 'Great. I guess I've done my job then. Do you want a sandwich.”
― Jody Gehrman, quote from Confessions of a Triple Shot Betty
“Come on Geena. Dude's slippery as hell. He could talk his way out of a blow job in the Oval Office.”
― Jody Gehrman, quote from Confessions of a Triple Shot Betty
Jody Gehrman
Born place: in Santa Rosa, CA, The United States
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“Do you know why people think nightmares aren’t real?” Charlie was too confused to answer. Something had changed. This nightmare was different from the rest. The witch had never spoken to him like this before. “Because most people wake up,” the witch continued. “Their spirits come here when they sleep and their bodies stay safe and sound in your world until morning.” She leaned in closer. “But you know what I’ve figured out? I’ve figured out how to bring your body here to the Netherworld too.”
― Jason Segel, quote from Nightmares!
“We were about a mile from school, on a path in the park, when Chirag reached down and took off his shoes, tossing them into the trees beside us.
“What are you doing?” I shouted in between breaths. Step, breath. Step, breath. He was a few yards ahead of me. I took advantage of his pause to pass him; I wasn’t about to let him beat me.
“There’s a tribe of Indians in Mexico who are the best runners in the world,” he shouted. “They run barefoot for miles and miles and never break a sweat.”
“You’re not that kind of Indian,” I shouted back, and Chirag laughed, his golden skin shimmering beneath his sweat.
“You should try it, too!”
“No way!” I replied without turning around to face him. “The ground is filthy. There could be glass or splinters or something.”
“Aw, come on, Maisie,” he cooed, coming up on my left side and getting a few steps ahead of me once more. “I dare you.”
― Alyssa B. Sheinmel, quote from Faceless
“What the hell happened, then? Where’s the body?’ Daniels was annoyed. ‘Out back in the conservatory, it’s all kinds of fucked up,’ Grey offered.”
― Katerina Diamond, quote from The Teacher
“I don't think we're allowed to call this friendship spooning anymore”
― K.K. Allen, quote from Up in the Treehouse
“It seemed to him that every time he made one choice in his life, he said no to another. All of those things he could not do or be were huddled inside of him; they might spring up at any moment, and he would be hobbled with regret.”
― Ayana Mathis, quote from The Twelve Tribes of Hattie
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