Suit

The summer we spent on the beach was all the sex education anyone needed.

I was always the quiet one, the one who followed suit, doing what others told me to do.

I was in heaven, married to the devil.

It had been as if she’d talked to God, praising the universe through twinkling stars.

Ten minutes before I would have drowned in his come. Now I just wanted it off me. I wanted him off me.

Even when he treated me like a slut, I wanted him.

Paxton Pierce was an impossible man. One that no woman could please. Not even me.

No matter how much I wanted to be stronger than him, show him what I was really made of, I couldn’t do it. I melted to this man.

Taylor Swift. That’s cute. How is it you can remember the words to high school songs, but not who you are?

I just sucked your dick at six o’clock in the morning. I feel like I at least deserve a good morning.

It was physical, enhanced with complicated emotions and powerful poisons. I even felt like I wanted to crash, yet I was still feeling the high, the memory burning my chest every time I thought about it.

I just wanted to leave it all behind and move forward, and that’s exactly what I did. I stopped worrying about my past and who I was before. All I could do was be a better person now. From this point forward.

I knew without knowing that he was my husband. Not only was I broken, I was married to a dick. Trying

Good Lord! I was broken and stupid. “Please tell me I’m not married to you,

Don’t look down when someone’s talking to you. You look them straight in the eyes. You’re bigger than that.

Time didn’t seem to matter when you didn’t know who you were or where you belonged.

The pit of my stomach balled and tightened. A gut feeling. That dreaded instinct when you know you’re doing something wrong, or you can sense something bad about to happen.

Well, I’ll be. Go to hell. You’re fighting your own demons. You like me this way, and you’re too damn bullheaded to admit it.

Go to bed with me,” I requested. I didn’t offer my hand, only my bed.

Pfft, everybody should fall in love when they don’t remember anything.

I was a raging slut. No doubt about it.

You’re driving me up the fucking wall,

I bared all to this man. I gave him everything, and I wanted to. I wanted to make him happy for the rest of our long lives. If only it could be that easy.

He kissed me, pulled me closer, explored every inch of my body with the tips of his fingers, and made love. That’s exactly what he had done. He knew it, and I knew it. We made love.

People didn’t have this much gravitational pull toward one another without it being real.

And… One fucked up marriage. I was a kept woman. Black and white. Red and Green. I was a glorified whore.

I became more and more introverted, realizing all the lies my mother told. You couldn’t escape life with a vision of a better one. It always came back. As soon as your eyes opened. Real life was there. The cold hard truth.

What else was I supposed to do? It wasn’t like I had anyone else coming to my rescue.