Quotes from Stupid and Contagious

Caprice Crane ·  317 pages

Rating: (5.9K votes)


“Love is pretty much a decision anyway. Just like happiness. You can decide to either love someone or not, be happy or not. The rest is just commitment to the idea.”
― Caprice Crane, quote from Stupid and Contagious


“Yesterday I had a woman ask me what kind of salad dressings we have. I told her we have sesame soy dressing, spicy lime vinaigrette, and blue cheese. She made a face and asked, 'Is that all?' 'Yes,' I told her, 'those are all of our dressings.' 'Don't you have any other dressings?' he says. I mean, what the hell? What does she think? That I'm holding out? I was tempted to say, "No, we actually have an entirely different assortment of dressings that I don't tell people about the first time they ask, because they don't deserve these great secret dressings. But now that you have proven your worth, I will show you to the VIP room, where the array of salad dressings will dazzle and delight you.”
― Caprice Crane, quote from Stupid and Contagious


“All of my most significant moments somehow involved music. It's like my life was a John Hughes film and somebody had to put together the perfect soundtrack.”
― Caprice Crane, quote from Stupid and Contagious


“People make changes in their life, and they blend and assimilate. They find a way to make it work. That's where I've always taken the wrong turn. By not taking a turn at all.”
― Caprice Crane, quote from Stupid and Contagious


“Wendy warmed my heart, earned my trust, touched my soul, and then touched me in a lot of other places. And right after we'd slept together for the very first time she looked up at me with her chocolate-brown, trustworthy doe eyes and said, "I've got herpes. I thought you should know.”
― Caprice Crane, quote from Stupid and Contagious



“you can have one of mine," he says. "i'll yank one out right now."
no, that won't count. It has to be the lash that naturally falls out. "

He gets on his knees and starts looking for my lash.”
― Caprice Crane, quote from Stupid and Contagious


“Check her out. She‟s fuckin‟ hot.”
“Wedding band,” I say.
“She sings in one?"
“No, jackass. She's wearing one.”
― Caprice Crane, quote from Stupid and Contagious


“And it's not that Pearl Jam was any more amazing than anyone else. I think we just liked who we were when they were who they were.”
― Caprice Crane, quote from Stupid and Contagious


“it's 4:21 am. He's gotta be done having mind-blowing-knock-your-dick-into-your-watch-pocket sex with her, and she's probably spooning with him right now. Ugh, it makes me sick. I'll bet he's in front, too, the dick. Anyone would know that Heaven is supposed to be the little spoon, but he's probably making her be the big spoon.”
― Caprice Crane, quote from Stupid and Contagious


“Someone once said, People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. They forgot one other option: Some people come only to give us their contact information, let us know that we really need to get together sometime, and why don’t we give them a call?”
― Caprice Crane, quote from Stupid and Contagious



“My dad says it’s because I haven’t met the right girl yet, but sometimes I think maybe I’ve met her five times already but ended up staring at her friend all night and asking her out, the one who would eventually steal eighty dollars out of my wallet to pay for a bikini wax, which I never got to see.”
― Caprice Crane, quote from Stupid and Contagious


“That red spot!” she says with alarm.
“That’s a freckle!”
“It wasn’t there before...” she says as she inspects her entire arm.
“It’s cute.”
“It’s not cute.”
“Then it’s mine,” I say. “If you don’t like it, it’s mine. I’ll call it Brady.”
“My freckle?”
“Yes.”
“You’re naming my freckle after yourself?” she says. “And you think I have issues?”
“It’s like a star. People buy stars in the constellation and name them after people al the time. As gifts.”
“So then are you buying my freckle? Because I don’t know if you can afford my freckle. My freckles don’t come cheap, you know.”
“I’ve already claimed it,” I declare. “It’s not up for discussion anymore. Just eat your ice cream. And don’t spill any on Brady.”
― Caprice Crane, quote from Stupid and Contagious


“When Nirvana came onto the scene, they pretty much saved music.”
― Caprice Crane, quote from Stupid and Contagious


“Thank you,” she says and yanks the pull-tab off the soda can. She takes a big sip and aaahs. Then she takes the pull-tab and puts it on her ring finger like a wedding band. She holds her hand out and looks at it.
“Someday,” she says wistfully.
“Wow, a soda pop pull-tab ring. You’re easy. Most girls want their ring from Tiffany’s.”
“Well, I’m not most girls.”
She’s telling me?”
― Caprice Crane, quote from Stupid and Contagious


“I don’t know where she comes up with this stuff. Her mind... it’s like I’ve come upon this secret vault that science will someday discover — or probably never discover. Which is fine by me. Kind of like when there’s a band I really like but nobody knows about them. I want people I like to hear them, but when the whole world jumps on the bandwagon I get pissed. Because I found them first.
Unless, of course, it’s one of my bands... in which case the world is more than welcome to jump. But Heaven... I’d prefer it if nobody else jumps on her.”
― Caprice Crane, quote from Stupid and Contagious



About the author

Caprice Crane
Born place: The United States
See more on GoodReads

Popular quotes

“As my father wrote, one's courage, hope, and spirit can be severely tried by the happenstance of life. But as I learned on this Virginia mountain, so long as one never loses faith, it is impossible to ever truly be alone.”
― David Baldacci, quote from Wish You Well


“I broke out into a sweat and the worlds of Rilke, the poet, entered my brain -- his notion that we are all of us born with a letter inside us, and that only if we are true to ourselves, may we be allowed to read it before we die.”
― Douglas Coupland, quote from Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated Culture


“Do you believe a man must be hard?” she asked. She was taking a chance. “Or strong?” By her tone, she left no doubt she saw a difference.
Again Sorilea touched the tray; the smallest of smiles might have quirked her lips for an instant. Or not. “Most men see the two as one and the same, Cadsuane Melaidhrin. Strong endures; hard shatters.”
Cadsuane drew breath. A chance she would have scoured anyone else for taking. But she was not anyone else, and sometimes chances had to be taken. “The boy confuses them,” she said. “He needs to be strong, and makes himself harder. Too hard, already, and he will not stop until he is stopped. He has forgotten how to laugh except in bitterness; there are no tears left in him. Unless he finds laughter and tears again, the world faces disaster. He must learn that even the Dragon Reborn is flesh. If he goes to Tarmon Gai’don as he is, even his victory may be as dark as his defeat.”
― Robert Jordan, quote from The Path of Daggers


“I'm not sure that love is an excuse for everything”
― Siri Hustvedt, quote from What I Loved


“Does an iris seek to repay the sun which gave it life? No. The mere beauty of the iris is tenfold thanks enough for each day the sun can see the wonder it created.”
― John Shors, quote from Beneath a Marble Sky


Interesting books

Born of Night
(22.9K)
Born of Night
by Sherrilyn Kenyon
Foundation and Earth
(45.7K)
Foundation and Earth
by Isaac Asimov
All Fall Down
(18.3K)
All Fall Down
by Ally Carter
The Palace of Illusions
(20.4K)
The Palace of Illusi...
by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni
The Geography of Bliss: One Grump's Search for the Happiest Places in the World
(26.6K)
The Geography of Bli...
by Eric Weiner
The Little Sister
(10.6K)
The Little Sister
by Raymond Chandler

About BookQuoters

BookQuoters is a community of passionate readers who enjoy sharing the most meaningful, memorable and interesting quotes from great books. As the world communicates more and more via texts, memes and sound bytes, short but profound quotes from books have become more relevant and important. For some of us a quote becomes a mantra, a goal or a philosophy by which we live. For all of us, quotes are a great way to remember a book and to carry with us the author’s best ideas.

We thoughtfully gather quotes from our favorite books, both classic and current, and choose the ones that are most thought-provoking. Each quote represents a book that is interesting, well written and has potential to enhance the reader’s life. We also accept submissions from our visitors and will select the quotes we feel are most appealing to the BookQuoters community.

Founded in 2023, BookQuoters has quickly become a large and vibrant community of people who share an affinity for books. Books are seen by some as a throwback to a previous world; conversely, gleaning the main ideas of a book via a quote or a quick summary is typical of the Information Age but is a habit disdained by some diehard readers. We feel that we have the best of both worlds at BookQuoters; we read books cover-to-cover but offer you some of the highlights. We hope you’ll join us.