“The principal wasn’t using his normal office because I’d blown it up by firing a mortar round into it. (It was an accident.)”
“my dormitory had been waiting to have its septic system replaced since before the Berlin Wall fell.”
“Just clip the red one," Cyrus told her.
"They're all red," Erica informed him.
"They are?" Cyrus asked. "Curse those Soviets! Everything always has to be red with them.”
“and were now coming down a wide intermediate run called”
“To my surprise, the toilet began to play music. It was probably supposed to be comforting, some sort of melody to soothe you while you pooped, but the whole idea of a musical toilet just weirded me out.”
“So he’s gonna want to get out of Dodge as fast as he can.” Sure enough, the caravan was racing down the”
“Do you have a camera?" Jackson asked. "We could get some pictures and may be take a print or two if we're lucky."
Jonas shook his head. "We'd probably get a bunch of ghosts and that would just freak me out.”
“Recent studies funded by Britain’s Natural Environment Research Council provide support for those concerns. (Thomas, et al, 2004; Stevens, et al, 2004) While there have been five mass extinctions in the history of our planet, they are all presumed to have been caused by extraterrestrial events, such as a comet smashing to earth. One of the new studies concludes that the “natural world is experiencing the sixth, major extinction event in its history.” (Lovell 2004) This time though, the cause of the extinction is not extraterrestrial. According to one of the study’s authors, Jeremy Thomas, “As far as we can tell this one is caused by one animal organism—man.”
“An individual might say, “I don’t want to change anyone.” And yet, he might still spend a great deal of his time trying to get others to agree with his views, or trying to prevent someone from doing something he thinks will be bad for him, or trying to change people by participating in a movement over a burning issue, or voting to prevent others from doing what they want to do. In all these ways, he’s trying to change others — to make them do other than what their natures lead them to do.”
“Whereas I could conform to an emo crowd easily enough, pretending to matriculate from upper crust asshats was too surreal. Goose insisted my stellar attitude and superb language skills had to be put on hold while we were inside the building, which meant to had to keep my big fat cow shut. It was the equivalent of asking a little girl not to scream the first time she was personally introduced to Hannah Montana.”
“If you consistently say thanks, being grateful is easy.”
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