“Hate is... It's too easy. Love. Love takes courage.”
“You can be surrounded by people and still be lonely. You can be the most popular person in school, envied by every girl and wanted by every boy, and still feel completely worthless. The world can be laid at your feet and you can still not know what you want from it.”
“I walk to my car without looking back, and as I drive away, I'm hit with a sudden wave of sadness. But it's a distant kind of sad - like when you look at your Barbies and realize you don't want to play with them anymore, because you're growing up and you've moved on, and in your heart you know it's time to make room for other things.”
“But even though I know my flaws are many (many many many), and there are always ways I could be better, and I should never stop working for that—I also need to give myself a break. I can cut myself some slack sometimes. Because I’m a work in progress. Because nobody is perfect. At least I acknowledge the mistakes I’ve made, and am making. At least I’m trying. That means something, doesn’t it?
And just because I have room for improvement doesn’t mean I’m worthless, or that I have nothing to offer to, like, the world.”
“The truth is, the person I’ve been hating more than anyone is myself. It is so easy. So easy to look in the mirror at all my imperfections and think of all the ways I fall short of someone...”
“I love the way he says my name, like it’s something he wants to keep safe.”
“I guess that’s the thing about riding on cloud nine—it can’t last forever. And that particular fall was hard and fast.”
“Hate is...it's too easy," he says. His face calm, calmer than it has any right to be, his eyes not wavering from mine, like he's so completely sure of what he's saying. "Love. Love takes courage.”
“What’s important is the time we spent working on it together. What’s important is that Sam is the kind of guy who will trade notes on a sketchpad and teach me how to make tuna melts and drop everything to drive to a parking lot
when I need him and throw stones at my window to make sure I’m okay.”
“It's like he knows everything. And I don't have to say a word.”
“Hate is easy, but love takes courage.”
“It seems so impossible that someone could look at [Andy and Noah], see how plainly they care for each other, and find anything ugly or shameful or worthy of hatred in it, when all I see is something beautiful.”
“All of them are the same type; girls with overprocessed hair and too much makeup and way too much access to Daddy’s credit cards. Girls who, if you took away the designer labels, hair dye and cover-up, wouldn’t be more than average-looking, but with all that stuff look too plastic to be pretty.”
“Awesome."
"Awesome squared."
"Awesome cubed."
"Awesome to the power of infinity."
"The square root of awesome is-"
"-Asha." We finish at the same time and laugh.”
“Therapy is my mother's solution to everything. I'm sure she thinks there'd be peace in the Middle East if every country were forced to sit down on a stiff leather couch with a box of Kleenex and talk about their feeeeelings.”
“It's like what those cheesy action-movie heros always say before they finish taking out the bad guys: I started this, and I'm going to finish it. Except even in the movie of my own life, I've never been the heroine. I've never been Action Girl. I've only ever been Kristen's supporting character.”
“He is such a dork. It's sort of endearing.”
“Running my mouth has hurt enough people already - the least I can do is to shut up.”
“Except that night didn't change my life. I changed it. I have to stop acting like I have no control over these things. Like I'm letting them just happen to me. These are my choices. For better or worse.”
“Listening to Eminem makes me feel like a badass. Or at least as though I have the potential for badassery. I mean, the way he sings, it’s like he’d probably punch out a puppy if it looked at him wrong. Obviously I’m not glorifying animal cruelty here, I’m just saying, I could use some of that attitude.”
“He winks at me, and the surge of butterflies in my stomach is so strong I think I may throw up right there. I need something to calm my nerves. The most obvious remedy is more alcohol. They don't call it liquid courage for nothing.”
“I look past them toward Sam.
I want to run up to him. I want to tell him exactly what I'm thinking - what his grin does to me. How I didn't think my crazy, upside-down, discombobulated life could ever make as much sense as it does right now. That hate is easy, but sometimes love is easy, too. When you find it.
But then Sam turns around, eyes lighting up when he sees me, tilted smile spreading over his face, and it's like he knows everything. Everything.
And I don't have to say a word.”
“I use the time to finish reading Of Mice and Men, which turns out to be just as awful as I thought it would be. I hate stories with dead puppies. So depressing.”
“Boys. I will never understand them. Not even the gay ones.”
“Also, tonight he reeks too much of beer and cloying cologne. This is a disappointment because I always assumed that a perfect creature such as Brendon would smell of spring rain and mountain bresses and other heavenly aromas.”
“I'm an expert at finding out secrets, but keeping them- especially a secret of this magnitude - is something else.”
“We've been caught in a wildly passionate, completely one-sided affair since freshman year.”
“I’m still the same Chelsea Knot. Bow down, bitches.”
“The truth is, the person I've ben hating more than anyone is myself. It is so easy. So easy to look in the mirror at all my imperfections and think of all the ways I fall short of someone like Kristen. To struggle with geometry equations and underlying meanings in novels and know I'll never been smart the way Asha is. To realize how much I've screwed up and to obsess over all of the terrible ways I've wronged so many people.
But.
But even though I know my flaws are so many (many many many), and there are always ways I could be better, and I should never stop working for that - I also need to give myself a break. I can cut myself some slack sometimes. Because I'm a work in progress. Because nobody is perfect. At least I acknowledge the mistakes I've made, and am making. At least I'm trying. That means something, doesn't it?
And just because I have room for improvement doesn't mean I'm worthless, or that i have nothing to offer to, like, the world.”
“Pride is never so loud as when in chains.”
“Sometimes I like to think I live with ghosts. Not from my past, but wispy bits of ideas and books that hang in the air like silk puppets. Sometimes I think I see my own ideas, floating around too, but they usually don't last that long. They're more like mayflies; they're born, big and gleaming, and then they fly around, buzzing like crazy before they fall to the floor, dead, about twenty four hours later.”
“But now that so much is changing, isn't it time for us to change? Couldn't we try to gradually develop and slowly take upon ourselves, little by little, our part in the great task of love? We have been spared all its trouble, and that is why it has slipped in among our distractions, as a piece of real lace will sometimes fall into a child's toy-box and please him and no longer please him, and finally it lies there among the broken and dismembered toys, more wretched than any of them. We have been spoiled by superficial pleasures like dilettantes, and are looked upon as masters. But what if we despised our successes? What if we started from the very outset to learn the task of love, which has always been done for us? What if we went ahead and became beginners, now that much is changing?”
“Genius is an infinite capacity for causing pain.”
“My mother always says that fear and pain are immediate, and that, when they're gone we're left with the concept, but not the true memory.”
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