“Sorry," she said. "I have a psychological disorder that prevents me from keeping thoughts inside my head where they belong. ”
“No wonder these people don’t believe in evolution. It obviously hasn’t worked in their favor.”
“Beautiful doesn't begin to describe it. A flower is beautiful. But this is beautiful the way that a person is beautiful- terrifying with its jagged edges, yet seductive with its crevices that hide so many secrets.”
“Jesus loves you.”
“Then how come he never calls?”
“If you follow love, you can't go wrong, even if it leads to disaster. Trust it."
Raphael to Lucifer”
“Go ahead, God, you fat, filthy motherfucker, lightning-bolt my ass into oblivion if you're so tough!”
“I love eating chicken with my bare hands. It makes me want to snarl at people, even more than usual.”
“Do you always introduce yourself by insulting people?”
“You obviously haven’t lived in D.C. very long if you think two and a half minutes is too soon to talk politics.”
“A spontaneous proposition deserves a spontaneous response."
"You gave me a spontaneous response when you said no.”
“This time of year," she said, "people’s consciences gnaw at them. They give away truckloads of canned goods and quote Dickens and wring their hands over the ‘less fortunate.’" We boarded the Metro and took seats perpendicular to each other. "But God forbid anyone should address why they’re poor in the first place, or try to change the structures that keep them poor. Then the ‘less fortunate’ turn into ‘welfare queens’ and ‘derelicts.’ But if I were a lobbyist whoring on behalf of some transnational corporation, I’d never hear the word ‘derelict.’"
"So when it comes to taking care of poor people," I said, "if Mother Teresa is the Hallmark card, then you’re the electric bill.”
“It is certain that God always gives what is necessary to those souls who fear Him. The gifts He bestows on them are not always the most apparent to the senses, nor the most agreeable, nor the most sought after, but the most necessary and solid; all the more so, usually, in being less felt and more mortifying to self-love; for that which helps us most powerfully to live to God is what best enables us to die to self.”
“She looked at the last thing she had written and she felt calm. Then she crossed the words out vehemently, scribbling until even the shape of the sentence was destroyed.”
“Oh, poor baby,” she said, mimicking his drawl.
“Whew. You’re back. There was this other Susie here a minute ago, and she was really nice to me. She scared the shit out of me.”
She laughed. “They locked her back up in the loony bin.”
“Good, because there’s only one Susie for me—the one who calls me on my crap and doesn’t let me get away with jack shit. That’s the Susie I need. That’s the Susie I’ve missed coming home to over the last year.” He kissed her. “And that’s the Susie who’s going to leave a gaping hole in my heart and my life if she doesn’t give me another chance.”
“I guess I am just a pervert with rapist facial hair.”
“Well, you’re my kind of pervert.”
“Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?" wrote Marlowe, the man Shakespeare feared for many years was the better writer, the man who with those words issued a license to misery to millions of underexperienced teenagers and thousands of overeducated middle-aged jackasses.”
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