Lemony Snicket · 218 pages
Rating: (15.6K votes)
“Desperate times call for desperate measures" is an aphorism which here means "sometimes you need to change your facial expression in order to create a workable disguise." The quoting of an aphorism, such as "It takes a village to raise a child," "No news is good news," and "Love conquers all," rarely indicates that something helpful is about to happen, which is why we provide our volunteers with a disguise kit in addition to helpful phrases of advice.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography
“You may want to keep a commonplace book which is a notebook where you can copy parts of books you think are in code, or take notes on a series of events you may have observed that are suspicious, unfortunate, or very dull. Keep your commonplace book in a safe place, such as underneath your bed, or at a nearby dairy.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography
“For obvious reasons, I never told you about my notebook, with a cover as green as mansions long ago, which I use as a commonplace book, a phrase which here means 'place where I have collected passages from some of the most important books I have read.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography
“Fire is like greed, my comrade. It spreads across the world, thinking only of itself, seizing everything it sees, and ruining everyone's fun.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography
“Sometimes, when you are reading a book you are enjoying very much, you begin thinking so hard about the characters and the story that you might forget all about the author, even if he is in grave danger and would very much appreciate your help. The same thing can happen if you are looking at a photograph. You might think so hard about whatever is in the photograph that you forget all about the person behind the camera.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography
“But lyrics are not proof; photographs are.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography
Lemony Snicket
Born place: in San Francisco, The United States
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“They were bonded. He rose smoothly, sheathing his sword, studying her. “Men who weren’t there call it the Battle of the Shining Walls,” he said abruptly. “Men who were, call it the Blood Snow. No more. They know it was a battle. On the morning of the first day, I led nearly five hundred men. Kandori, Saldaeans, Domani. By evening on the third day, half were dead or wounded. Had I made different choices, some of those dead would be alive. And others would be dead in their places. In war, you say a prayer for your dead and ride on, because there is always another fight over the next horizon. Say a prayer for the dead, Moiraine Sedai, and ride on.” Startled, she came close to gaping. She had forgotten that the bond’s flow worked both ways. He knew her emotions, too, and apparently could make out hers far better than she could his. After a moment, she nodded, though she did not know how many prayers it would take to clear her mind. Handing her Arrow’s reins, he said, “Where do we ride first?” “Back to Chachin,” she admitted. “And then Arafel, and….” So few names remained that were easy to find. “The world, if need be. We win this battle, or the world dies.” Side by side they rode down the hill and turned south. Behind them the sky rumbled and turned black, another late storm rolling down from the Blight.”
― Robert Jordan, quote from New Spring
“And he was introduced to Loki, the family’s hairless cat.
“The kids wanted another pet,” Becky explained as Felix stared in horror at the creature beside him. “But with Polly’s allergies . . .”
“You are lying to me. You borrowed this creature from a zoo to play a prank on me. This isn’t even really a cat, is it? This is some sort of rat and opossum hybrid. This is a lifelike Japanese robot that can dance to disco music.”
“Funny. They’re called sphinx cats. Come on, feel her skin. Like peach fuzz, right? Isn’t she sweet? Give her a good rub. She’s very affectionate.”
“Ah-ha, yes, isn’t that just . . . er, what is coating my hands?”
“It’s . . . it’s like a body wax. I should’ve bathed her before you came. The hairless cats, they ooze this waxy stuff to protect their skin. ’Cause they don’t have hair. To protect them. So the waxy ooze helps. You see.”
Felix stared at her for several seconds, his hands held up like a doctor about to perform surgery.
“I’m going to wash my hands now. And I’m going to try very hard not to run out of this house screaming.”
― Shannon Hale, quote from The Actor and the Housewife
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― Angie Sage, quote from Flyte
“She sniffed again. "If I become a vampire, will I stop crying every time I get pissed off? Because that would be definite mark in the plus column."
Carwyn chuckled. "I've no idea, but your tears would be kind of pink. Very...cute."
"Great," she swiped at her cheeks that were dusted with salty frost. "So I'd look stupid and I'd stain my clothes.”
― Elizabeth Hunter, quote from This Same Earth
“There has never been a great "love" movement in the history of the world that hasn't wound up killing countless numbers of people, we must assume, to prove how much they loved them! Every hypocrite who ever walked the earth has had pockets bulging with love!”
― Anton Szandor LaVey, quote from The Satanic Bible
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