“I think if I gave you my heart, you would treat it tenderly.”
“That’s right. He is Charls. I am Charls. We are cousins,’ said Charls, gamely, ‘named after our grandfather. Charls.”
“I miss you," said Laurent. "I miss our conversations.”
“You’ve spent a morning with him and you’re warning me off. Just wait,’ said Damen, ‘until you’ve spent a full day with him.’
‘You mean that he improves with time?’
‘Not exactly,’ said Damen.”
“Don't", said Laurent, "toy with me. I - have not the means to defend against this.”
“I would court you, with all the grace and courtesy that you deserve,”
“How can you trust me, after what your own brother did to you?"
"Because he was false", said Damen, "and you are true. I have never known a truer man.”
“I know who you are, Damianos,’ said Laurent.”
“You see?” said Laurent. “He has forgiven me for the small matter of the whip. I have forgiven him for the small matter of killing my brother. All hail the alliance.”
“I miss you too,’ he said. ‘I’m jealous of Isander.’ ‘Isander’s a slave.’ ‘I was a slave.’ The moment ached. Laurent met his gaze, his eyes too clear. ‘You were never a slave, Damianos. You were born to rule, as I was.”
“Laurent entered, an edge to his grace, like a leopard with a headache.”
“The ache of loss didn't make sense, because Laurent had never been his.”
“There was a man I was supposed to meet. He’s got all these ideas about honour and fair play, and he tries to keep me from doing the wrong thing. But he’s not here right now. Unfortunately for you.”
“That is the man you face. He has more honour and integrity than any man I have ever met. He is dedicated to his people and his country. And I am proud to have been his lover.”
“To gain everything and lose everything in the space of a moment. That is the fate of all princes destined for the throne.”
“Makedon was explaining the virtues of iron tea to Laurent, and when Laurent massaged his own temple with finely bred fingers, Makedon remarked, rising, ‘You should have your slave fetch you some.’
‘Fetch me some,’ Laurent said.
Damen rose. And stopped.
Laurent had gone very still. Damen stood there, awkwardly. He could think of no other reason why he had stood up.
He looked up and his eyes met those of Nikandros, who was staring at him. Nikandros was with a small group to one side of the table, the last of the men in the hall. He was the only one to have seen and heard. Damen just stood there.
‘This meeting is over,’ Nikandros announced to the men around him, too loudly. ‘The King is ready to ride.”
“I'm glad you're here,' said Laurent. 'I always thought that I'd have to face my uncle alone.'
He turned to look at Damen, and their eyes met.
'You're not alone,' said Damen.
Laurent didn't answer, but he did give a smile, and reached out to touch Damen, wordlessly.”
“Laurent said, ‘No. I’m not here to—’ He said, ‘I’m just here.”
“Don't think, he'd said, because it was easier than saying, Take me for who I am.
He couldn't bear that suddenly. He wanted it without pretences, without excuses, his fingers curling hard into Laurent's hair.
'It's me,' said Damen. 'It's me, here with you. Say my name.'
'Damianos.”
“There was a warmth in his chest whenever he looked at Laurent. He didn't look often for that reason.”
“Is today the first time you’ve been beaten in an okton?’
‘Technically, it was a draw,’ said Damen.
‘Technically. I told you I was quite good at riding. I used to beat Auguste all the time when we raced at Chastillon. It took me until I was nine to realise he was letting me win. I just thought I had a very fast pony. You’re smiling.”
“After a moment, Laurent said, ‘He would have liked you.’
‘Even after I started courting his little brother?’ said Damen carefully.
He watched Laurent stop, the way that he did when he was taken by surprise, and then lift his eyes to meet Damen’s.
‘Yes,’ said Laurent softly, his cheeks reddened slightly.”
“Did you learn the rotation of the border patrols?’ said Laurent.
‘Yes, our scouts found—’
Laurent was standing in the doorway wearing a chiton of unadorned white cotton.
Damen dropped the pitcher.
It shattered, shards flying outward as it slipped from his fingers and hit the stone floor.
Laurent’s arms were bare. His throat was bare. His collarbone was bare, and most of his thighs, his long legs, and all of his left shoulder. Damen stared at him.
‘You’re wearing Akielon clothing,’ said Damen.
‘Everyone’s wearing Akielon clothing,’ said Laurent.
Damen thought that the pitcher had shattered and he could not now take a deep draught of the wine. Laurent came forward, navigating the broken ceramic in his short cotton and sandalled feet, until he reached the seat beside Damen, where the map was laid out on the wooden table.
‘Once we know the rotation of the patrols, we’ll know when to approach,’ said Laurent.
Laurent sat down.
‘We need to approach at the beginning of their rotation in order to give us the most time before they report back to the fort.’
It was even shorter sitting down.
‘Damen.’
‘Yes. Sorry,’ said Damen. And then: ‘What were you saying?”
“Now, Laurent was beside him. Aloof, untouchable Laurent was beside him, kneeling on the wet marble hundreds of miles from home, with nothing in his eyes but Damen.”
“A ludicrous boyish hope flared that someone would come to help him, and, carefully, he extinguished it.”
“You're still wearing it."
He couldn't help but say it. Laurent's wrist was heavy with gold, like the colour of his hair in the firelight.
"So are you."
"Tell me why."
"You know why," said Laurent.”
“You spent the night in the Prince of Vere’s rooms.’ ‘I spent ten minutes in his rooms. If you think I fucked him in that time you underrate me.’ Nikandros didn’t move his horse out of the way.”
“It took me until I was nine to realise he was letting me win. I just thought I had a very fast pony.”
“Grief is a kind of war, I think now. Loss is like a bullet. A person can only take so much.”
“Don’t beat yourself up about being a nut job. Facebook’s made stalkers out of us all.”
“Satan was declawed and detoothed at the cross. All he can do is roar at us and gum us a little. The only way he can harm us is through deception.”
“The car buzzed at her, as if a door ajar was the most important problem in her life right now.”
“crime? I was in trouble because a man had said I was not clean there. He was lying. He only said that because he was not clean there and I told him we should shower before we fucked.”
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