Goodnight Tweetheart

Twitter is the perpetual cocktail party where everyone is talking at once but nobody is saying anything.

Abby_Donovan: I bet you were one of those uber-cool teachers like Mr.Chip, weren't you? MarkBaynard: I was more like Mr.Kotter or that guy from GLEE who looks like the love child of Orlando Bloom & Justin Timberlake. Abby_Donovan: Your female students were probably writing "I love you" on their eyelids and listening to "Don't Stand So Close to Me" on their Walkmans. [...] Abby_Donovan: Goodnight Mr.Schuester MarkBaynard: Goodnight Miss Pillsbury Abby_Donovan: Goodnight Puck MarkBaynard: Goodnight Rachel Abby_Donovan: Goodnight Kurt MarkBaynard: Goodnight Quinn Abby_Donovan: Goodnight Finn MarkBaynard: Goodnight Sue Sylvester, you heartless but oddly sexy beast Abby_Donovan: Goodnight Artie MarkBaynard: Goodnight Tweetheart...

Don’t be silly. People never stop looking for love. Yeah, some of them don’t even stop AFTER they’ve found it.

You care enough to play hard to get.

Don’t U want someone to complete you the way Mini-Me completed Dr. Evil? Someone who shares the same tastes in music food who will finish … my sentences? The last thing I need is someone stealing the punch lines to all my jokes.

She had fooled herself into believing she was living the life she’d always dreamed of living when all she had been doing was hiding from it.

there are elements of truth in all great fiction

Odd Thing to Read After an Autopsy: “He was in much better health than we expected.” Well, yeah … except for the DEAD part.

A true friend never asks you to feed their imaginary fish. Or fertilize their imaginary crops.

MarkBaynard: If you start hanging out over here, won't your Facebook Friends miss you? Abby_Donovan: Those people weren't my friends. If they had been, they wouldn't have sent me all those annoying quizzes. MarkBaynard: A true friend never asks you to feed their imaginary fish. Or fertilize their imaginary crops. Abby_Donovan: Although with a little coaxing, I might be persuaded to take home your imaginary kitten. So how is Twitter different from Facebook? MarkBaynard: Twitter is the perpetual cocktail party where everyone is talking at once but nobody is saying anything.

Abby_Donovan: Heathcliff was a misogynistic asshole. MarkBaynard: Could you explain that to my Lit 101 class? I hate to see all those impressionable young females swoowing over him like he's Edward Cullen. Abby_Donovan: I've always been Team Jacob myself. And Team Mr Rochester.

He had been willing to hold on to hope even when it looked like all hope was lost. She owed him no less.

MarkBaynard: I figured out in the first grade that it was better to crack a joke than somebody's skull.

How could Mark be halfway across the world when she would have sworn he'd been in this room with her only seconds ago?

MarkBaynard: You know what they say- dying is easy; comedy is hard.

Abby_Donovan: C’mon…who are you really? Are you hiding a secret identity? Are you Batman? Ashton Kutcher?

I prefer to think of myself as a devout Narcissist. What does that mean? If the sun is shining, I thank God. If it rains, I blame him.

MarkBaynard: [...] When you wrote yr 1st book, did U ever dream it was going to be welcomed by the world w/open arms? Abby_Donovan: I didn't write it for the world. I wrote it for me. MarkBaynard: Then that's what you need to do again. Write yourself another book. Abby_Donovan: But I know in my heart I'll never write anything as good as that book. MarkBaynard: [...] It doesn't matter what you write as long as you stop beating yourself up about not writing and start writing.

Oddly enough, writing again has made me WANT to get out more. I mean, if I don't start living life, how can I write about it?

If I had a theme song it would probably be “B-Boys Makin’ with the Freak Freak” by the Beastie Boys.

There are meaningful deaths. And there are absurd and utterly meaningless deaths. Unfortunately, you don't get to choose which one you get.

MarkBaynard: Twitter is the perpetual cocktail party where everyone is talking at once but nobody is saying anything.