Mark Goulston · 177 pages
Rating: (414 votes)
“Emotions are built on layers. Beneath hatred is usually anger; beneath anger is frustration; beneath frustration is hurt; beneath hurt is fear. If you keep expressing your feelings, you will generally move through them in that order. What begins with “I hate you” culminates in “I’m scared. I don’t want to lose you, and I don’t know what to do about it.”
― Mark Goulston, quote from Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
“You know the old saying, “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.” Well, if you always get out as soon as the kitchen gets hot, your life will end up half-baked.”
― Mark Goulston, quote from Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
“man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.” —ALEXANDER POPE”
― Mark Goulston, quote from Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
“You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.” —INDIRA GANDHI”
― Mark Goulston, quote from Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
“Both partners describe one of their own character flaws. Humility resolves self-righteousness.”
― Mark Goulston, quote from Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
“Both partners share a quality of the other person that they admire. Admiration resolves disappointment. Both partners express appreciation for something that the other one did. Gratitude resolves resentment. Both partners apologize, without excuses, for something they did to hurt the other person. Remorse resolves hurt.”
― Mark Goulston, quote from Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
“All the beautiful sentiments in the world weigh less than a simple lonely action.”
― Mark Goulston, quote from Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
“But the goal is not to replace what cannot be replaced, or duplicate what cannot be duplicated, but simply to create opportunities for new memories. One”
― Mark Goulston, quote from Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
“That is what learning is. You suddenly understand something you’ve understood all your life, but in a new way.” —DORIS LESSING Ordinary”
― Mark Goulston, quote from Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
“Those who are comfortable taking chances know that the best way to grow is to reach beyond their grasp. Their sense of direction comes from the heart. They don’t shy away from surprise; they might even seek it out. And they seldom die with regrets. In the end we regret not what we have done but what we have not done.”
― Mark Goulston, quote from Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
“Dakin: The more you read, though, the more you'll see that literature is actually about losers.
Scripps: No.
Dakin: It's consolation. All literature is consolation.”
― Alan Bennett, quote from The History Boys
“For once I didn't look away immediately. I forced myself to meet her contemptuous gaze. I allowed myself be swept away by it, to drown in it - the way I'd done so many times before. The way I would willingly do again. Because at least she was here to hate me. At least I had that. I watched my daughter conjure up the filthiest look in her vast arsenal before she turned away with complete disdain. I didn't mind that so much. It meant I could watch her, drink her in without her protest.
Look at our daughter, Callum. Isn't she beautiful, so very beautiful? She laughs like me, but when she smiles... Oh Callum, when she smiles, it's picnics in Celebration Park and sunsets on our beach and our very first kiss all over again. When Callie Rose smiles at me, she lights up my life.
When Callie Rose smiles at me.”
― Malorie Blackman, quote from Checkmate
“When I was younger, I used to make resolutions, which I imagined were virtuous. I was less anxious to be what I was, than to become what I wished to be. Now, I am not far from thinking that in irresolution lies the secret of not going old.”
― André Gide, quote from The Counterfeiters
“She did not feel she could be a writer because she lacked the courage to let anyone read her words. When”
― Christopher Rice, quote from A Density of Souls
“On nights like this, when he rode out from the dark, silent house to the dark, deserted park, he could
forget.
He could be nothing but a solitary rider on a fast horse, wind in his face and the world open around him.
No walls, no bars, no quiet weeping or screams or death. None of that could catch him. On a night like
this, none of it could find him.”
― Suzanne Enoch, quote from England's Perfect Hero
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