Mark Goulston · 177 pages
Rating: (414 votes)
“Emotions are built on layers. Beneath hatred is usually anger; beneath anger is frustration; beneath frustration is hurt; beneath hurt is fear. If you keep expressing your feelings, you will generally move through them in that order. What begins with “I hate you” culminates in “I’m scared. I don’t want to lose you, and I don’t know what to do about it.”
― Mark Goulston, quote from Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
“You know the old saying, “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.” Well, if you always get out as soon as the kitchen gets hot, your life will end up half-baked.”
― Mark Goulston, quote from Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
“man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.” —ALEXANDER POPE”
― Mark Goulston, quote from Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
“You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.” —INDIRA GANDHI”
― Mark Goulston, quote from Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
“Both partners describe one of their own character flaws. Humility resolves self-righteousness.”
― Mark Goulston, quote from Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
“Both partners share a quality of the other person that they admire. Admiration resolves disappointment. Both partners express appreciation for something that the other one did. Gratitude resolves resentment. Both partners apologize, without excuses, for something they did to hurt the other person. Remorse resolves hurt.”
― Mark Goulston, quote from Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
“All the beautiful sentiments in the world weigh less than a simple lonely action.”
― Mark Goulston, quote from Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
“But the goal is not to replace what cannot be replaced, or duplicate what cannot be duplicated, but simply to create opportunities for new memories. One”
― Mark Goulston, quote from Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
“That is what learning is. You suddenly understand something you’ve understood all your life, but in a new way.” —DORIS LESSING Ordinary”
― Mark Goulston, quote from Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
“Those who are comfortable taking chances know that the best way to grow is to reach beyond their grasp. Their sense of direction comes from the heart. They don’t shy away from surprise; they might even seek it out. And they seldom die with regrets. In the end we regret not what we have done but what we have not done.”
― Mark Goulston, quote from Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
“She held out her hand, like a man. He hesitated, then took the hand and shook it. It was very warm. You could not help but be aware of the wild passage of blood on the other side of its wall, veins, capillaries, sweat glands, tiny factories in the throes of complicated manufacture. [He] looked at the eyes and, knowing how eyes worked, was astonished, not for the first time, at the infinite complexity of Creation, wondering how this thing, this instrument for seeing, could transmit so clearly its entreaty while at the same time—-Look, I am only an eye—-denying that it was doing anything of the sort.”
― Peter Carey, quote from Oscar and Lucinda
“The instruments you have are the right instruments for you, because you’ve been shaped by them. That’s another law.”
― Gene Wolfe, quote from The Urth of the New Sun
“The things here are stronger--the things that differentiate us from one another are too powerful. The common interest is no longer decisive. It has broken up already and given place to the interest of the individual. Now and then something still will shine through from that other time when we all wore the same rig, but already it is dwindled and dim. These others here are still our comrades and yet our comrades no longer--that is what is so sad. All else went west in the war, but comradeship we did believe in; now only to find that what death could not do, life is achieving; it is driving us asunder.”
― Erich Maria Remarque, quote from The Road Back
“How would you like it if I said to you, 'It kills me to say this, but you're actually a tiny bit beautiful?" he had asked, pissed off.
She hadn't said anything then, which was rare for her.
"Would you have been lying?" She said after a long silence.
"Lying about what?"
More quiet.
"About me being a tiny bit beautiful."
"Shit, yeah."
-
But later that night, he had sent her a message on MSN.
Of course I was lying. The "tiny" bit part, anyway.”
― Melina Marchetta, quote from The Piper's Son
“After all, the only thing that is going to save mankind is if enough people live their lives for something or someone other than themselves.”
― Leon Uris, quote from QB VII
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