Mark Goulston · 177 pages
Rating: (414 votes)
“Emotions are built on layers. Beneath hatred is usually anger; beneath anger is frustration; beneath frustration is hurt; beneath hurt is fear. If you keep expressing your feelings, you will generally move through them in that order. What begins with “I hate you” culminates in “I’m scared. I don’t want to lose you, and I don’t know what to do about it.”
― Mark Goulston, quote from Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
“You know the old saying, “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.” Well, if you always get out as soon as the kitchen gets hot, your life will end up half-baked.”
― Mark Goulston, quote from Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
“man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.” —ALEXANDER POPE”
― Mark Goulston, quote from Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
“You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.” —INDIRA GANDHI”
― Mark Goulston, quote from Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
“Both partners describe one of their own character flaws. Humility resolves self-righteousness.”
― Mark Goulston, quote from Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
“Both partners share a quality of the other person that they admire. Admiration resolves disappointment. Both partners express appreciation for something that the other one did. Gratitude resolves resentment. Both partners apologize, without excuses, for something they did to hurt the other person. Remorse resolves hurt.”
― Mark Goulston, quote from Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
“All the beautiful sentiments in the world weigh less than a simple lonely action.”
― Mark Goulston, quote from Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
“But the goal is not to replace what cannot be replaced, or duplicate what cannot be duplicated, but simply to create opportunities for new memories. One”
― Mark Goulston, quote from Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
“That is what learning is. You suddenly understand something you’ve understood all your life, but in a new way.” —DORIS LESSING Ordinary”
― Mark Goulston, quote from Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
“Those who are comfortable taking chances know that the best way to grow is to reach beyond their grasp. Their sense of direction comes from the heart. They don’t shy away from surprise; they might even seek it out. And they seldom die with regrets. In the end we regret not what we have done but what we have not done.”
― Mark Goulston, quote from Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
“If I love you more than you love me, I'm as good as dead. Yet I can't make myself take it back. I can't just walk away from you, because every time you pass by me without smiling, without touching my hand, or at least making eye contact, it feels like I'm dying inside. And I'm pretty sure that hurts worse than whatever Marc would do to me. Whatever your dad would do. Hell, Faythe, I'm pretty sure that never touching you again would hurt worse than the nastiest death Calvin could think up for me.”
― Rachel Vincent, quote from Shift
“I'm more of a dog person. But I admire cats and their ability to take so much while giving so little.”
― Jeri Smith-Ready, quote from Wicked Game
“The moment you enter the room, the earl becomes far more animated. It is obvious that he is fascinated by you. One can hardly have a conversation with him, as he is constantly straining to hear what you are saying, and watching your every movement.”
― Lisa Kleypas, quote from It Happened One Autumn
“The stinting poverty in which they lived was unbearable; it was destroying them. It did not mean that there was not enough to eat: it meant that every penny must be watched, new clothes foregone, amusements abandoned, holidays kept in the never-never-land of the future. A poverty that allows a tiny margin for spending, but which is shadowed always by a weight of debt that nags like a conscience, is worse than starvation itself. That was how she had come to feel. And it was bitter because it was a self imposed poverty.”
― Doris Lessing, quote from The Grass is Singing
“I looked at Maddox, so large, yet at the moment so vulnerable. Would he recover? Even though he was my enemy, I prayed he would.”
― Lori Brighton, quote from The Mind Readers
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