Quotes from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“Let's think the unthinkable, let's do the undoable. Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.”
― Douglas Adams, quote from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“Don't you understand that we need to be childish in order to understand? Only a child sees things with perfect clarity, because it hasn't developed all those filters which prevent us from seeing things that we don't expect to see.”
― Douglas Adams, quote from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“There is no point in using the word 'impossible' to describe something that has clearly happened.”
― Douglas Adams, quote from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“The door was the way to... to... The Door was The Way. Good. Capital letters were always the best way of dealing with things you didn't have a good answer to.”
― Douglas Adams, quote from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“Sherlock Holmes observed that once you have eliminated the impossible then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible.”
― Douglas Adams, quote from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“If the Universe came to an end every time there was some uncertainty about what had happened in it, it would never have got beyond the first picosecond. And many of course don't. It's like a human body, you see. A few cuts and bruises here and there don't hurt it. Not even major surgery if it's done properly. Paradoxes are just the scar tissue. Time and space heal themselves up around them and people simply remember a version of events which makes as much sense as they require it to make.”
― Douglas Adams, quote from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“The more Susan waited, the more the doorbell didn't ring. Or the phone.”
― Douglas Adams, quote from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“The Electric Monk was a labour-saving device, like a dishwasher or a video recorder... Electric Monks believed things for you, thus saving you what was becoming an increasingly onerous task, that of believing all the things the world expected you to believe.”
― Douglas Adams, quote from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“It is difficult to be sat on all day, every day, by some other creature, without forming an opinion on them.

On the other hand, it is perfectly possible to sit all day, every day, on top of another creature and not have the slightest thought about them whatsoever.”
― Douglas Adams, quote from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“It is a rare mind indeed that can render the hitherto non-existent blindingly obvious. The cry 'I could have thought of that' is a very popular and misleading one, for the fact is that they didn't, and a very significant and revealing fact it is too.”
― Douglas Adams, quote from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“Sir Isaac Newton, renowned inventor of the milled-edge coin and the catflap!"

"The what?" said Richard.

"The catflap! A device of the utmost cunning, perspicuity and invention. It is a door within a door, you see, a ..."

"Yes," said Richard, "there was also the small matter of gravity."

"Gravity," said Dirk with a slightly dismissed shrug, "yes, there was that as well, I suppose. Though that, of course, was merely a discovery. It was there to be discovered." ... "You see?" he said dropping his cigarette butt, "They even keep it on at weekends. Someone was bound to notice sooner or later. But the catflap ... ah, there is a very different matter. Invention, pure creative invention. It is a door within a door, you see.”
― Douglas Adams, quote from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“If everyone knew exactly what I was going to say, then there would be no point in my saying it, would there?”
― Douglas Adams, quote from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“That was it. That was really it. She knew that she had told herself that that was it only seconds earlier, but this was now the final real ulimate it.”
― Douglas Adams, quote from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“In the great debate that has raged for centuries about what, if anything, happens to you after death, be it heaven, hell, purgatory or extinction, one thing has never been in doubt - that you would at least know the answer when you were dead.”
― Douglas Adams, quote from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“What I mean is that if you really want to understand something, the best way is to try and explain it to someone else. That forces you to sort it out in your own mind. And the more slow and dim-witted your pupil, the more you have to break things down into more and more simple ideas. And that’s really the essence of programming. By the time you’ve sorted out a complicated idea
into little steps that even a stupid machine can deal with, you’ve certainly learned something about it yourself. The teacher usually learns more than the pupil. Isn’t that true?”
― Douglas Adams, quote from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“The complexities of cause and effect defy analysis.”
― Douglas Adams, quote from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“Yes it is,' said the Professor. 'Wait—' he motioned to Richard, who was about to go out again and investigate— 'let it be. It won't be long.'

Richard stared in disbelief. 'You say there's a horse in your bathroom, and all you can do is stand there naming Beatles songs?'

The Professor looked blankly at him.”
― Douglas Adams, quote from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“The light works," he said, indicating the window, "the gravity works," he said, dropping a pencil on the floor. "Anything else we have to take our chances with.”
― Douglas Adams, quote from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“Believe me, it is a great deal better to find cast-iron proof that you're innocent than to languish in a cell hoping that the police---who already think you're guilty---will find it for you.”
― Douglas Adams, quote from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“Gordon Way's astonishment at being suddenly shot dead was nothing compared to his astonishment at what happened next.”
― Douglas Adams, quote from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“She tried to worry that something terrible had happened to him, but didn't believe it for a moment. Nothing terrible ever happened to him, though she was beginning to think that it was time it damn well did. If nothing terrible happened to him soon maybe she'd do it herself. Now there was an idea.”
― Douglas Adams, quote from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“The seat received him in a loose and distant kind of way, like an aunt who disapproves of the last fifteen years of your life and will therefore furnish you with a basic sherry, but refuses to catch your eye.”
― Douglas Adams, quote from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“High on a rocky promontory sat an Electric Monk on a bored horse.”
― Douglas Adams, quote from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“He felt like an old sponge steeped in paraffin and left in the sun to dry.”
― Douglas Adams, quote from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“Dirk was, for one of the few times in a life of exuberantly prolific loquacity, wordless.”
― Douglas Adams, quote from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“He turned slowly like a fridge door opening.”
― Douglas Adams, quote from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“There are some oddities in the perspective with which we see the world.”
― Douglas Adams, quote from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“The light was only just visible - except of course that there was no one to see, no witnesses, not this time, but it was nevertheless a light.”
― Douglas Adams, quote from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“Sunlight played along the River Cam. People in punts happily shouted at each other to fuck off. Thin natural scientists who had spent months locked away in their rooms growing white and fishlike, emerged blinking into the light. Couples walking along the bank got so excited about the general wonderfulness of it all that they had to pop inside for an hour.”
― Douglas Adams, quote from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

About the author

Popular quotes

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“I would not just disappear into a void as though I'd never existed. I would not accept that I was less than these people just because they'd designed me that way.”
― S.J. Kincaid, quote from The Diabolic

“Pokrovski cerea mereu ceva, cerea stăruitor, vorbind împleticit, cu limba încătuşată de moarte, iar eu nu pricepeam nimic din vorbele lui. Inima mi se frîngea de durere! Un ceas întreg s-a zbătut aşa, chinuit de o dorinţă; se trudea să facă un semn cu mîinile-i răcite şi iar începea să ceară jalnic, cu glasul răguşit şi surd... Dar vorbele lui nu erau altceva decît un şir de bîiguieli fără nici un înţeles, şi iar nu pricepeam nimic. Rînd pe rînd, îi aduceam lîngă pat pe fiecare dintre cei ai casei, îi dădeam apă, dar el clătina trist din cap. în cele din urmă, am înţeles ce voia: mă ruga să ridic storul de la fereastră şi să deschid obloanele. Voia — pesemne — să se mai uite o dată la lumina zilei, la soare. Am tras storul; dar ziua care abia începea era tristă şi mohorîtă ca şi viaţa nefericită a celui de pe patul de moarte, gata să se stingă. Nici pomeneală de soare! Cerul era acoperit de pîcla deasă a norilor, un cer ploios, mohorît, rece. O ploaie măruntă bătea în fereastră şi se prelingea pe geam în şiroaie reci şi murdare. O zi cenuşie, întunecată. Lumina ei slabă abia pătrundea în odaie, luptînd din greu cu flacăra tremurătoare a candelei din faţa icoanei. Muribundul îmi aruncă o privire plină de o nespusă tristeţe şi clătină din cap. Peste o clipă îşi dădu sufletul. Anna Feodorovna a luat asupră-şi grijile înmormîntării. I-a cumpărat lui Pokrovski coşciugul cel mai de rînd şi a tocmit un cărăuş ca să-l ducă. Dar ca să nu rămînă cumva păgubită de cheltuieîde pe care le făcea, a pus mîna pe toate cărţile şi pe toate lucrurile răposatului. Bătrînul a făcut gură, s-a certat cu ea şi la urmă i-a smuls un teanc de cărţi, pe care le-a vîrît în buzunare, în pălărie, pe unde a putut, şi nu s-a despărţit de ele în toate cele trei zile dinaintea înmormîntării, şi chiar şi atunci cînd a trebuit să se ducă la biserică; în tot acest timp, s-a purtat ca un ieşit din minţi, învîrtindu-se mereu, cu o grijă duioasă, pe lîngă sicriu: ba îndrepta cununiţa cu rugăciunea de dezlegare a mortului, ba aprindea cîte o luminare sau schimba alta. Se vedea cît de colo că nu-şi poate opri gîndul asupra niciunui lucru. Nici măicuţa şi nici Anna Feodorovna n-au fost în biserică la prohod. Măicuţa era bolnavă, iar Anna Feodorovna se pregătise să meargă, dar în ultima clipă s-a certat cu bătrînul Pokrovski şi a rămas acasă. Nu ne-am dus decît bătrînul şi cu mine. In timpul slujbei, m-a cuprins dintr-odată o teamă ciudată, un fel de presimţire a viitorului. Abia de am putut rămîne pînă la urmă în biserică, în sfîrşit, coşciugul a fost închis, bătut în cuie, apoi l-au pus în căruţă şi l-au dus. L-am petrecut numai pînă la capătul străzii. Căruţaşul a pornit-o la trap. Bătrînul s-a luat în fugă după el, plîngînd cu hohote. Plînsul lui tremura şi se frîngea din pricina alergăturii. Sărmanul şi-a pierdut şi pălăria, dar nu s-a oprit ca să şi-o ridice. Ploaia îi uda capul, se stîrnise vîntul, măzărichea rece îi biciuia şi-i înţepa obrazul. Dar bătrînul părea să nu simtă nimic şi alerga cînd de o parte, cînd de alta a căruţei, plîngînd într-una. Poalele hainei lui vechi fîlfîiau în bătaia vîntului ca nişte aripi. Din toate buzunarele îi ieşeau colţuri de cărţi. In mîini avea iarăşi o carte mare, pe care o strîngea cu putere. Trecătorii se descopereau şi-şi făceau cruce. Unii se opreau în loc şi priveau cu uimire la sărmanul bătrîn. Cărţile îi cădeau mereu din buzunare, în noroi. Oamenii îl opreau şi-i arătau cartea pierdută; el o ridica şi pornea iarăşi în fugă pe urma sicriului. La colţul străzii i s-a alăturat o bătrînă cerşetoare, care voia şi dînsa să petreacă mortul... Apoi căruţa a cotit şi n-am mai văzut nimic.”
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, quote from Poor Folk

“Befit sprang before the blacks, beating down their spears. She turned toward Conan, her bosom heaving, her eyes flashing. Fierce fingers of wonder caught at his heart. She was slender, yet formed like a goddess: at once lithe and voluptuous. Her only garment was a broad silken girdle. Her white ivory limbs and the ivory globes of her breasts drove a beat of fierce passion through the Cimmerian's pulse, even in the panting fury of battle. Her rich black hair, black as a Stygian night, fell in rippling burnished clusters down her supple back. Her dark eyes burned on the Cimmerian. She was untamed as a desert wind, supple and dangerous as a she-panther. She came close to him, heedless of his great blade, dripping with blood of her warriors. Her supple thigh brushed against it, so close she came to the tall warrior. Her red lips parted as she stared up into his somber menacing eyes.”
― Robert E. Howard, quote from Conan of Cimmeria

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