“And I was thinking just the opposite, Boots. Forever isn’t going to be nearly long enough for us.”
“Forever is a really, really long time,”
“P.S. If any boy ever asks for my hand in marriage, show him #4. I’m in love. I’d marry a pirate for a ring like that.”
“Wow,” I whisper. Hello, beautifully gorgeous ring that needs to be on my finger.”
“Is it solid or cream filled?” Dallas screams.”
“It was Valentine's Day and I had spent the day in bed with my life partner, Ketel One. The two of us watched a romance movie marathon on TBS Superstation that made me wonder how people who write romantic comedies can sleep at night.
At some point during almost every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls, stumbling helplessly over something ridiculous like a leaf, and then some Matthew McConaughey type either whips around the corner just in the nick of time to save her or is clumsily pulled down along with her. That event predictably leads to the magical moment of their first kiss. Please. I fall all-the-time. You know who comes and gets me? The bouncer.
Then, within the two hour time frame of the movie, the couple meet, fall in love, fall out of love, break up, and then just before the end of the movie, they happen to bump into each other by "coincidence" somewhere absolutely absurd, like by the river. This never happens in real life. The last time I bumped into an ex-boyfriend was at three o'clock in the morning at Rite Aid. I was ringing up Gas-X and corn removers.”
“For all the pain I saw at Paterson, it is nothing compared to the pain that people inflict upon each other in the real world. All I can think of now is that it is not right for me to be unaware of that pain, including the pain that I inflict on others. Only how is it possible to live without being either numb to it or overwhelmed by it?”
“Jealousy is a mortal emotion. One that means I feel I have something to lose--something that, if gone, will tear away a part of me.”
“No, as I've discovered, hate generally costs a man more than he can afford.”
“We all knew no respectable physician would remove my fingers just for the asking, and we had no time anyway.”
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