Quotes from Born Confused

Tanuja Desai Hidier ·  512 pages

Rating: (4.7K votes)


“You must live every moment of your life in such a way that if you had to live it over and over again till infinity, this would be a good thing.”
― Tanuja Desai Hidier, quote from Born Confused


“They say in the east you love the person you marry and in the west you marry the person you love. But maybe it's a lot simpler than that. Maybe you just love the person you love.”
― Tanuja Desai Hidier, quote from Born Confused


“And it now occurred to me that maybe the whole point was, in fact, to lose yourself. But not in the sense of confusion--in the sense of connection to something bigger than yourself...Getting lost to be found.”
― Tanuja Desai Hidier, quote from Born Confused


“She was right. After all, if she herself had wondered whether she was Indian enough -- she, who had always been to me a sort of epitome of Indian -- then who could be? Who could claim the sole right or way to an identity?”
― Tanuja Desai Hidier, quote from Born Confused


“But you have to realize, there is no such thing as this tidy little box you think you have to fold up and fit into; it simply does not exist. That's what I'm learning, learning as we speak.”
― Tanuja Desai Hidier, quote from Born Confused



“Believe it or not, Dimple–and I would believe it–I am just a regular person who has decided to be who I am in life. That's all. That's how you make your life magical–you take yourself into your own hands and rub a little. You activate your identity. And that's the only way to make, as they say, the world a better place; after all, what good are you to anyone without yourself?”
― Tanuja Desai Hidier, quote from Born Confused


“As the conference continued it occurred to me finally that it wasn't really about Indian history as it was written, but really about rewriting it by taking a fresh look at race, ethnicity, gender, and a mix of sociocultural questions...

I just couldn't believe how far along the desi scene was, not just socially but intellectually, how many people were out there thinking about it. This whole event so far rocked my world, muddled me still more, and delivered a series of tiny epiphanies, all at the same time. To be honest, I was quite intimidated by the dialogue going on, as well as by the passion and conviction of these people on so many subjects which I, frankly, had never really even thought about.

...A history of a people in transit -- what could that be card catalogued under? And the history of the ABCD. Everyone seemed to know about this ABCD thing -- that didn't seem very confused to me! And it was a relatively new phenomenon; it had never occurred to me that things going on now could have a history already. The moments that made up my life in the present tense seemed so fleetingly urgent and self-contained to me: I'd always felt my life had very little to do with my parents' and especially their parents' histories...and that it would have very little effect on anything to come.

But the way these people were talking -- about desis in Hollywood; South Asian Studies departments; the relatively new Asian Indian slot on the census -- was hummingly sculpting the air, as if they were making history as they spoke. Making it, messily but surely, even simply by speaking. I was feeling it, too -- a sense of history in the making. But where did I fit in to any of it?

And how come no one had told me?”
― Tanuja Desai Hidier, quote from Born Confused


“Life viewed from nine different camera angles; life played at nine tempos. Mixed, montaged; multiple. In the course of one lifetime. Maybe that's what reincarnation was all about. Reinvention.”
― Tanuja Desai Hidier, quote from Born Confused


“American Born Confused Desi Emigrated From Gujarat House In Jersey Keeping Lotsa Motels Named Omkarnath Patel Quickly Reaching Success Through Underhanded Vicious Ways Xenophobic Yet Zestful.

or

American Born Confused Desi Emigrated from Gujarat House In Jersey Kids Learning Medicine Now Owning Property Quite Reasonable Salary Two Uncles Visiting White Xenophobia Yet Zestful

Now you know your ABCDs.”
― Tanuja Desai Hidier, quote from Born Confused


“You see,' Gwyn said slowly...'With an Indian boy maybe you can, you know, explore all that stuff. Go kamasutronic, so to speak.'

I nodded, but I was feeling battle fatigue and was now thinking the tip of another thought: Or maybe an Indian boy would get that most of us don't know that stuff. That it was a lot of hype. It was the bindi blondes who were all over this scene, not the holelessly nosed Indian girls.”
― Tanuja Desai Hidier, quote from Born Confused



“...Sabina [was] onto something about mehendi not being tantamount to temporary tattoo, and how it's been appropriated by Western capitalist culture. But the mehendi originated in Africa, and so India appropriated it from a people of color as well, according to Upma, and thus we shouldn't wear jeans or listen to Queen, then. But Freddie Mercury was Indian, Sabina pointed out, Parsi, and plus, half of these things are made in India anyways if you check the tags. Somehow eventually arriving at: Whatever it was, why did a white girl have to wear it before it was regarded as cool?”
― Tanuja Desai Hidier, quote from Born Confused


About the author

Tanuja Desai Hidier
Born place: Boston, Massachusetts, The United States
See more on GoodReads

Popular quotes

“Geography is the key, the crucial accident of birth. A piece of protein could be a snail, a sea lion, or a systems analyst, but it had to start somewhere. This is not science; it is merely metaphor. And the landscape in which the protein "starts" shapes its end as surely as bowls shape water.”
― Annie Dillard, quote from Teaching a Stone to Talk: Expeditions and Encounters


Biology
The film turns out to be about bees. It is a film about a bee center. How crap is this going to be?

An hour later
That was the best thing I have seen for ages. We made Miss Wilson rewind the bit where the two queens were having a bitch fight.”
― Louise Rennison, quote from Love Is a Many Trousered Thing


“Tu mayor fortaleza es también tu mayor debilidad", dijo. "Tu pasión. Tu furia. No estoy diciendo que no deberías haber golpeado a Caín. Lo que estoy diciendo es que no deberías haberte golpeado a ti misma.”
― Morgan Rice, quote from Desired


“Carl sent a message from his brain to his hands that it was still illegal to strangle people.”
― Jussi Adler-Olsen, quote from The Keeper of Lost Causes


“Logical reasoning may be a most convenient means of mental communication for covering short distances, but the curvature of the earth, alas, is reflected even in logic: an ideally rational progression of thought will finally bring you back to the point of departure where you return aware of the simplicity of genius, with a delightful sensation that you have embraced truth, while actually you have merely embraced your own self... anything you might term a deduction already exposes the flaw: logical development inexorably becomes an envelopment.”
― Vladimir Nabokov, quote from The Stories of Vladimir Nabokov


Interesting books

Emotionally Weird
(5.6K)
Emotionally Weird
by Kate Atkinson
Tribes: We Need You to Lead Us
(28.5K)
Tribes: We Need You...
by Seth Godin
The Pursuit of Happiness
(4.1K)
The Pursuit of Happi...
by Douglas Kennedy
Spud
(5.2K)
Spud
by John van de Ruit
Roadkill
(4.4K)
Roadkill
by Rob Thurman
Vampire Crush
(4.5K)
Vampire Crush
by A.M. Robinson

About BookQuoters

BookQuoters is a community of passionate readers who enjoy sharing the most meaningful, memorable and interesting quotes from great books. As the world communicates more and more via texts, memes and sound bytes, short but profound quotes from books have become more relevant and important. For some of us a quote becomes a mantra, a goal or a philosophy by which we live. For all of us, quotes are a great way to remember a book and to carry with us the author’s best ideas.

We thoughtfully gather quotes from our favorite books, both classic and current, and choose the ones that are most thought-provoking. Each quote represents a book that is interesting, well written and has potential to enhance the reader’s life. We also accept submissions from our visitors and will select the quotes we feel are most appealing to the BookQuoters community.

Founded in 2023, BookQuoters has quickly become a large and vibrant community of people who share an affinity for books. Books are seen by some as a throwback to a previous world; conversely, gleaning the main ideas of a book via a quote or a quick summary is typical of the Information Age but is a habit disdained by some diehard readers. We feel that we have the best of both worlds at BookQuoters; we read books cover-to-cover but offer you some of the highlights. We hope you’ll join us.