“This is the end to my Saturday night. My cat has watched me whack off to a vision of my best friend. “Don’t say a word,” I hiss. He looks away, lifting his chin haughtily. But he’ll keep my secret. I’ll keep his, too, the fucking little voyeur.”
― Lauren Blakely, quote from Big Rock
“You don't want a tiny diamond on your finger when you can have three carats. You don't want a one-dollar bill when you can have a Benjamin. And you don't want to ride a miniature pony when you can saddle up on a rock-star cock at the rodeo of your pleasure.”
― Lauren Blakely, quote from Big Rock
“You’re not supposed to be attracted to your best friend like this. That’s not how it works. I’m probably going to have to get checked into a facility to deal with the amount of attraction I have for you. I’ll ask them to remove it, and they’ll say ‘sorry, sir, it’s spread across your entire body and we can’t take it out’.”
― Lauren Blakely, quote from Big Rock
“Because if you’re my fiancé, you need to be comfortable with me being naked,” she says with a crisp nod. Shit, she’s going to do it. She’s going to drop the towel. She’s going to make us practice fucking. I am the luckiest man on the face of the earth.”
― Lauren Blakely, quote from Big Rock
“My heart trips over itself in a race to get closer to her. Something is happening. Something strange and completely foreign. My heart is speaking a language I don’t understand as it tries to fling itself at Charlotte. Great. Now, that’s two organs I have to do battle with every day.”
― Lauren Blakely, quote from Big Rock
“and I’ve been dubbed adorable. I am not okay with this. This is not acceptable. Charlotte is so getting fucked from behind tonight so she knows there’s nothing adorable about me.”
― Lauren Blakely, quote from Big Rock
“I do my best work in the bedroom. This is completely my domain. So it should be no big deal that she asked me to wait here. But something about being in Charlotte’s bedroom is wigging me out. Mostly because there’s nudity transpiring mere feet away. She’s taking a shower, and no matter how you slice them, New York apartments are thimble size. Let me spell this out—There is a wet, naked, hot woman in a ten-foot radius. Got it? Okay. Moving on.”
― Lauren Blakely, quote from Big Rock
“Fido and I have an understanding: I feed him, and he doesn’t cock-block me.”
― Lauren Blakely, quote from Big Rock
“We are teetering on something. Something I shouldn't want. Something I want desperately.”
― Lauren Blakely, quote from Big Rock
“Once you’ve had filet mignon, you don’t want to go back to hamburger helper.”
― Lauren Blakely, quote from Big Rock
“My heart trips over itself in a race to get closer to her.”
― Lauren Blakely, quote from Big Rock
“But here’s the secret to success when you possess a much-larger-than-average-size cock. You can’t just wave it around like a big bat. You’ve got to treat it like a baseball manager does a closer. A cock with firepower is your secret weapon, and it’s worth its weight in gold if you know what to do with the rest of the lineup. Meaning, the dick should never be the star of the show. The woman’s name should be the one in lights, and you need to make her feel that way from start to finish. Warm her up right. Use all your tools—hands, fingers, mouth, tongue, words.”
― Lauren Blakely, quote from Big Rock
“she inches her fingers tighter around my waist. So tight that for a sliver of a second it seems like…like she’s copping a feel of my abs. Okay. That’s not even remotely a problem at all. Those rock-solid abs are there for your pleasure, m’lady.”
― Lauren Blakely, quote from Big Rock
“You’re the only woman I want to love.”
― Lauren Blakely, quote from Big Rock
“Mr. Offerman clasps his hand on top of hers. “It’s a good hobby for you, dear. It gets you out of the kitchen.”
I straighten my spine. Are we in the fifties here? “Out of the kitchen?”
― Lauren Blakely, quote from Big Rock
“Do it" she commands. "I need to know I won't cave, I need to prove to myself that even the torture of tickling won't make me give up the secrets of my best friend." I unbutton my cuffs, and roll up my shirt sleeves to my forearms "Don't go easy on me." she says. "Not in my nature.”
― Lauren Blakely, quote from Big Rock
“Yum.” She smacks her lips and mimes making a cat claw. She leans into me and whispers, “I am so going to be visiting him one-handed tonight in my fantasies.”
― Lauren Blakely, quote from Big Rock
“when it comes to my best asset, all I want you thinking about are these words: long, thick, smooth, hard. If the Renaissance masters were carving sculptures of cocks, mine would be the model for all of them.”
― Lauren Blakely, quote from Big Rock
“He really was a pig,” I say, with a quirk in my lips. “He was completely disrespectful to women, to his wife, to his daughters—I can’t have the Katharine’s legacy carried on by someone like that.”
― Lauren Blakely, quote from Big Rock
“Take that first step, and the next thing you know, you’ve completed a jerk-off hat trick to your bestie. But”
― Lauren Blakely, quote from Big Rock
“That’s the thing about slippery slopes. Take that first step, and the next thing you know, you’ve completed a jerk-off hat trick to your bestie.”
― Lauren Blakely, quote from Big Rock
“Any man who is friends with a woman has taken the old imagination out for a stroll to Kissing Avenue, then Lovers Lane, then Fucking Street.”
― Lauren Blakely, quote from Big Rock
“I’ve got to remember to ask her if she can tie a knot in a cherry with it, too. Not that it matters. I have no use for knotted cherries. But”
― Lauren Blakely, quote from Big Rock
“There's only one cure for weirdness.”
“Anal?”
― Lauren Blakely, quote from Big Rock
“I leave, and I should earn a commendation for self-restraint. I’m going to contact the Guys’ Committee and let them know what I accomplished tonight in the resistance category. I’ll fully expect a gold medal in the morning and, frankly, an awards ceremony, considering the level of difficulty.”
― Lauren Blakely, quote from Big Rock
“I head to the bathroom. I wash my face, brush my teeth, and try to put the evening behind me. Look, it’s not hard to turn down a drunk girl, because that’s just wrong. But it was hard, for some unknown fucking reason, to turn down her. Those things she was saying. Those wicked, dirty words falling from her red lips. They torched a path up my body. They stirred something inside me. Some wish. Some want.
That kiss on the street was one thing.
The session on her couch was entirely another.
But the cab was a whole new wrinkle. She just combusted, like a rocket of lust, firing off in every direction, jumping me, climbing me, grinding on me.
I wanted it all.
I wanted her.
I still do.”
― Lauren Blakely, quote from Big Rock
“When I open my eyes, Fido is at the foot of my bed, licking his paw. He drags it over his furry face, then behind his ear. He stops his post-meal bath to stare at me, a disdainful look in his beady yellow eyes.
This is the end to my Saturday night. My cat has watched me whack off to a vision of my best friend.
“Don’t say a word,” I hiss.
He looks away, lifting his chin haughtily.
But he’ll keep my secret.
I’ll keep his, too, the fucking little voyeur.”
― Lauren Blakely, quote from Big Rock
“Charlotte!” he calls out, waving to her. “Did you get the balloons?”
He pulls up next to us, barely making eye contact with me.
“They didn’t fit in the elevator, but it really doesn’t matter. You need to stop sending me gifts. It’s over with us. In fact,” she says, and reaches out to grab my free hand, threading her fingers through mine and surprising the fuck out of me, since she’s not a hand-holder, “I’m engaged to Spencer now.”
Whoa.
That surprise over her holding my hand? It’s nothing compared to the surprise from what comes next.
She thrusts her coffee cup at Bradley, and in the blink of an eye she wraps her hands around my neck, and presses her lips to mine.”
― Lauren Blakely, quote from Big Rock
“Charlotte is kissing me.
On the streets of New York.
Her lips are on mine.
She tastes fantastic.
Like cream and sugar and coffee and sweetness. Like all the good things in the world. Like I imagined she’d taste.
Not that I’ve been thinking about kissing my best friend.
But, look, you can’t help where your mind wanders sometimes as a guy. Any man who is friends with a woman has taken the old imagination out for a stroll to Kissing Avenue, then Lovers Lane, then Fucking Street.
Which is exactly what I’m going to be visiting in Ye Olde Brain if she keeps brushing those lips softly against mine in this fluttery¸ lingering kind of kiss. Because it is getting harder to think about anything other than turning up the volume on this lip-lock.
A lot harder.”
― Lauren Blakely, quote from Big Rock
“I set down the picture, inhale deeply, and straighten my shoulders. The door creaks open. She steps out of the bathroom wearing only a white fluffy towel wrapped above her breasts.
“You might be wondering why I asked you to wait in my bedroom instead of the living room,” she says, in the most matter-of-fact of tones.
I have no clue how she can be talking like we’re having a business transaction while droplets of water slide down her bare legs. But I’m a strong man. I can handle this. I’m not tempted at all by my best friend. My dick, however, begs to differ, the traitorous prick.
“The thought crossed my mind,” I say, as I lean against the bureau, striking a casual pose.
“Because if you’re my fiancé, you need to be comfortable with me being naked,” she says with a crisp nod.
Shit, she’s going to do it. She’s going to drop the towel. She’s going to make us practice fucking. I am the luckiest man on the face of the earth.”
― Lauren Blakely, quote from Big Rock
Lauren Blakely
Born place: in The United States
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“I need you to trust me, even after I'm gone. Even after you've forgotten all of this. Do you trust me, Tod?"
"With everything I have and everything I am. With all my soul.”
― Rachel Vincent, quote from With All My Soul
“You sleep like an angel" Jacks said. The shock of his words in the dark room sent Maddy's stomach leaping into her throat. She didn't even realize she had screamed until it came out of her mouth.
"Don't be frightened," Jacks said, sounding worried. "It's just me. I'm sorry, I so didn't mean for that to sound creepy. Let me start over.”
― Scott Speer, quote from Immortal City
“A new legend swept Oregon, from Roseburg all the way north to the Columbia, from the mountains to the sea. It traveled by letter and by word of mouth, growing with each telling.
It was a sadder story than the two that had come before it--those speaking of a wise, benevolent machine and of a reborn nation. It was more disturbing than those. And yet this new fable had one important element its predecessors lacked.
It was true.
The story told of a band of forty women--crazy women, many contended--who had shared among themselves a secret vow; to do anything and everything to end a terrible war, and end it before all the good men died trying to save them.
They acted out of love, some explained. Others said they did it for their country.
There was even a rumor that the women had looked on their odyssey to Hell as a form of penance, in order to make up for some past failing of womankind.
Interpretations varied, but the overall moral was always the same, whether spread by word of mouth or by U.S. Mail. From hamlet to village to farmstead, mothers and daughter and wives read the letters and listened to the words--and passed them on.”
― David Brin, quote from The Postman
“In our relationships, weatherproofing typically plays itself out like this: You meet someone and all is well. You are attracted to his or her appearance, personality, intellect, sense of humor, or some combination of these traits. Initially, you not only approve of your differences with this person, you actually appreciate them. You might even be attracted to the person, in part because of how different you are. You have different opinions, preferences, tastes, and priorities. After a while, however, you begin to notice little quirks about your new partner (or friend, teacher, whoever), that you feel could be improved upon. You bring it to their attention. You might say, “You know, you sure have a tendency to be late.” Or, “I’ve noticed you don’t read very much.” The point is, you’ve begun what inevitably turns into a way of life—looking for and thinking about what you don’t like about someone, or something that isn’t quite right. Obviously, an occasional comment, constructive criticism, or helpful guidance isn’t cause for alarm. I have to say, however, that in the course of working with hundreds of couples over the years, I’ve met very few people who didn’t feel that they were weatherproofed at times by their partner. Occasional harmless comments have an insidious tendency to become a way of looking at life. When you are weatherproofing another human being, it says nothing about them—but it does define you as someone who needs to be critical. Whether you have a tendency to weatherproof your relationships, certain aspects of your life, or both, what you need to do is write off weatherproofing as a bad idea. As the habit creeps into your thinking, catch yourself and seal your lips. The less often you weatherproof your partner or your friends, the more you’ll notice how super your life really is.”
― Richard Carlson, quote from Don't Sweat the Small Stuff ... and it's all small stuff: Simple Ways to Keep the Little Things from Taking Over Your Life
“Love? Love is about an unquenchable hunger, a passion so powerful it cannot be ignored. In the face of love,” he spoke softly, “all resistance is futile. Sex is momentary, ephemeral ecstasy at best without love. No one with a good opinion of themselves would trade sex by itself if they could have the true geld .. love with a worthy lover. It alters lives, and even the barest slice of true love … a moment, an evening, a day’s worth, can become a treasure to be pulled from the memory and ignite those feelings again many years after it has passed. It is the most powerful of all compulsions." Das”
― William C. Samples, quote from Fe Fi FOE Comes
The Deal
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