“Yes, of course duct tape works in a near-vacuum. Duct tape works anywhere. Duct tape is magic and should be worshiped.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian
“He’s stuck out there. He thinks he’s totally alone and that we all gave up on him. What kind of effect does that have on a man’s psychology?” He turned back to Venkat. “I wonder what he’s thinking right now.”
LOG ENTRY: SOL 61 How come Aquaman can control whales? They’re mammals! Makes no sense.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian
“Maybe I’ll post a consumer review. “Brought product to surface of Mars. It stopped working. 0/10.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian
“I guess you could call it a "failure", but I prefer the term "learning experience".”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian
“I can't wait till I have grandchildren. When I was younger, I had to walk to the rim of a crater. Uphill! In an EVA suit! On Mars, ya little shit! Ya hear me? Mars!”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian
“If a hiker gets lost in the mountains, people will coordinate a search. If a train crashes, people will line up to give blood. If an earthquake levels a city, people all over the world will send emergency supplies. This is so fundamentally human that it's found in every culture without exception. Yes, there are assholes who just don't care, but they're massively outnumbered by the people who do.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian
“I started the day with some nothin’ tea. Nothin’ tea is easy to make. First, get some hot water, then add nothin’.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian
“Also, I have duct tape. Ordinary duct tape, like you buy at a hardware store. Turns out even NASA can’t improve on duct tape.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian
“As with most of life's problems, this one can be solved by a box of pure radiation.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian
“Actually, I was the very lowest ranked member of the crew. I would only be “in command” if I were the only remaining person.”
What do you know? I’m in command”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian
“LOG ENTRY: SOL 381 I’ve been thinking about laws on Mars.
Yeah, I know, it’s a stupid thing to think about, but I have a lot of free time.
There’s an international treaty saying no country can lay claim to anything that’s not on Earth. And by another treaty, if you’re not in any country’s territory, maritime law applies.
So Mars is “international waters.”
NASA is an American nonmilitary organization, and it owns the Hab. So while I’m in the Hab, American law applies. As soon as I step outside, I’m in international waters. Then when I get in the rover, I’m back to American law.
Here’s the cool part: I will eventually go to Schiaparelli and commandeer the Ares 4 lander. Nobody explicitly gave me permission to do this, and they can’t until I’m aboard Ares 4 and operating the comm system. After I board Ares 4, before talking to NASA, I will take control of a craft in international waters without permission.
That makes me a pirate!
A space pirate!”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian
“It’s true, you know. In space, no one can hear you scream like a little girl.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian
“Me: “This is obviously a clog. How about I take it apart and check the internal tubing?” NASA: (after five hours of deliberation) “No. You’ll fuck it up and die.” So I took it apart.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian
“Problem is (follow me closely here, the science is pretty complicated), if I cut a hole in the Hab, the air won't stay inside anymore.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian
“They say once you grow crops somewhere, you have officially ‘colonised’ it. So technically, I colonised Mars.
In your face, Neil Armstrong!”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian
“If ruining the only religious icon I have leaves me vulnerable to Martian vampires, I'll have to risk it.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian
“WATNEY: Look! A pair of boobs! -> (.Y.).”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian
“The screen went black before I was out of the airlock. Turns out the “L” in “LCD” stands for “Liquid.” I guess it either froze or boiled off. Maybe I’ll post a consumer review. “Brought product to surface of Mars. It stopped working. 0/10.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian
“I'm calling it the Watney Triangle because after what I've been through, shit on Mars should be named after me.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian
“Everything went great right up to the explosion.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian
“[11:49] JPL: What we can see of your planned cut looks good. We’re assuming the other side is identical. You’re cleared to start drilling. [12:07] Watney: That’s what she said. [12:25] JPL: Seriously, Mark? Seriously?”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian
“My asshole is doing as much to keep me alive as my brain.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian
“I admit it’s fatally dangerous,” Watney said. “But consider this: I’d get to fly around like Iron Man.” “We’ll keep working on ideas,” Lewis said. “Iron Man, Commander. Iron Man.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian
“But really, they did it because every human being has a basic instinct to help each other out. It might not seem that way sometimes, but it’s true.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian
“Just three words? Nothing about his physical health? His equipment? His supplies?'
'You got me,' she said. 'He left a detailed status report. I just decided to lie for no reason.'
'Funny,' Venkat said. 'Be a smart-ass to a guy seven levels above you at your company. See how that works out.'
'Oh no,' Mindy said. 'I might lose my job as an interplanetary voyeur? I guess I'd have to use my master's degree for something else.'
'I remember when you were shy.'
'I'm space paparazzi now. The attitude comes with the job.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian
“Live Another Sol would be an awesome name for a James Bond movie.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian
“I need to ask myself, 'What would an Apollo astronaut do?' He'd drink three whiskey sours, drive his Corvette to the launchpad, then fly to the moon in a command module smaller than my Rover. Man those guys were cool.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian
“You know what? "Kilowatt-hour per sol" is a pain in the ass to say. I'm gonna invent a new scientific unit name. One kilowatt-hour per sol is... it can be anything... um... I suck at this... I'll call it a "pirate-ninja".”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian
“Once I got home, I sulked for a while. All my brilliant plans foiled by thermodynamics. Damn you, Entropy!”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian
“Gay probe coming to save me. Got it.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian
Andy Weir
Born place: The United States
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“Every degree of power involves a corresponding degree of freedo from good and evil.”
― James St. James, quote from Party Monster: A Fabulous But True Tale of Murder in Clubland
“I zoomed in on the shoe department like a blonde homing pigeon. Shoes, shoes everywhere! Ah, sweet shoes. I truly think you can take the measure of a civilization by looking at its footwear.”
― MaryJanice Davidson, quote from Undead and Unemployed
“The word thing is an interesting word. At first glance it looks like the front half of one word combined with the last half of another. It's a versatile word. It can be good, as in, "what a nice thing," or "she has a thing for you." Or it can be bad, like "the thing under the bed," or "here's the thing, you're fired and you smell bad." Add an "s" to the back end of it and it becomes something that most people in the world can't get enough of.
Things
People love things. They collect things. They store things. They cherish things and then move on and cherish other things. People also buy things. Some buy a lot of things simply because their neighbors have those same things--which is a weird thing if you really think about it.
It's remarkable what we'll do for the sake of things when in reality things couldn't care less about us.”
― Obert Skye, quote from Leven Thumps and the Wrath of Ezra
“Trev, there’s—”
“Hang on.” Metal grinding on metal screeched in the cold air. Then, “Motherfuckin’ piece of shit.”
Chassie glanced at Edgard who’d gone completely still.
“That’s not the way to talk in front of company, hon.”
“Who’s here?” Trevor spun around and froze.
A beat passed. Then Edgard said softly, “Hello, Trevor.”
No one spoke; no one moved.
Trevor roared, “You motherfuckin’ piece of shit.” He threw the wrench and bulled toward Edgard.
Crap. Maybe they weren’t friends after all.
Instead of tackling the man and pounding him into the ground, Trevor slapped Edgard on the back. Clasping him in a bear hug, lifting him in the air, practically swinging him in a circle.
Whoa. She’d never seen her husband so…exuberant. From seeing an old friend she’d never even heard of? Chassie’s eyes met Trevor’s in confusion and he hastily set Edgard down.
“Ah. Sorry, man. It’s just…” Trevor turned away.
As he composed himself, Chassie fired a sardonic look at Edgard. “Well, I reckon he’s happy to see you after all.”
For Christsake, Edgard was here. Standing in his goddamn front yard.
Next to his wife.
How was he supposed to deal with this situation? At least he’d stopped himself from laying a big, wet kiss on him.
Kissing another man. In front of his wife.
Fuck.”
― Lorelei James, quote from Rough, Raw, and Ready
“... forgiveness is really just another word for freedom.”
― Julie Lessman, quote from A Heart Revealed
This Man Confessed
Eye of the Needle
Written on the Body
First Grave on the R...
Gaudy Night
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