Quotes from The Martian

Andy Weir ·  369 pages

Rating: (587.7K votes)


“Yes, of course duct tape works in a near-vacuum. Duct tape works anywhere. Duct tape is magic and should be worshiped.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian


“He’s stuck out there. He thinks he’s totally alone and that we all gave up on him. What kind of effect does that have on a man’s psychology?” He turned back to Venkat. “I wonder what he’s thinking right now.”

LOG ENTRY: SOL 61 How come Aquaman can control whales? They’re mammals! Makes no sense.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian


“Maybe I’ll post a consumer review. “Brought product to surface of Mars. It stopped working. 0/10.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian


“I guess you could call it a "failure", but I prefer the term "learning experience".”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian


“I can't wait till I have grandchildren. When I was younger, I had to walk to the rim of a crater. Uphill! In an EVA suit! On Mars, ya little shit! Ya hear me? Mars!”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian



“If a hiker gets lost in the mountains, people will coordinate a search. If a train crashes, people will line up to give blood. If an earthquake levels a city, people all over the world will send emergency supplies. This is so fundamentally human that it's found in every culture without exception. Yes, there are assholes who just don't care, but they're massively outnumbered by the people who do.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian


“I started the day with some nothin’ tea. Nothin’ tea is easy to make. First, get some hot water, then add nothin’.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian


“Also, I have duct tape. Ordinary duct tape, like you buy at a hardware store. Turns out even NASA can’t improve on duct tape.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian


“As with most of life's problems, this one can be solved by a box of pure radiation.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian


“Actually, I was the very lowest ranked member of the crew. I would only be “in command” if I were the only remaining person.”
What do you know? I’m in command”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian



“LOG ENTRY: SOL 381 I’ve been thinking about laws on Mars.

Yeah, I know, it’s a stupid thing to think about, but I have a lot of free time.

There’s an international treaty saying no country can lay claim to anything that’s not on Earth. And by another treaty, if you’re not in any country’s territory, maritime law applies.

So Mars is “international waters.”

NASA is an American nonmilitary organization, and it owns the Hab. So while I’m in the Hab, American law applies. As soon as I step outside, I’m in international waters. Then when I get in the rover, I’m back to American law.

Here’s the cool part: I will eventually go to Schiaparelli and commandeer the Ares 4 lander. Nobody explicitly gave me permission to do this, and they can’t until I’m aboard Ares 4 and operating the comm system. After I board Ares 4, before talking to NASA, I will take control of a craft in international waters without permission.

That makes me a pirate!

A space pirate!”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian


“It’s true, you know. In space, no one can hear you scream like a little girl.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian


“Me: “This is obviously a clog. How about I take it apart and check the internal tubing?” NASA: (after five hours of deliberation) “No. You’ll fuck it up and die.” So I took it apart.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian


“Problem is (follow me closely here, the science is pretty complicated), if I cut a hole in the Hab, the air won't stay inside anymore.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian


“They say once you grow crops somewhere, you have officially ‘colonised’ it. So technically, I colonised Mars.
In your face, Neil Armstrong!”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian



“If ruining the only religious icon I have leaves me vulnerable to Martian vampires, I'll have to risk it.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian


“WATNEY: Look! A pair of boobs! -> (.Y.).”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian


“The screen went black before I was out of the airlock. Turns out the “L” in “LCD” stands for “Liquid.” I guess it either froze or boiled off. Maybe I’ll post a consumer review. “Brought product to surface of Mars. It stopped working. 0/10.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian


“I'm calling it the Watney Triangle because after what I've been through, shit on Mars should be named after me.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian


“Everything went great right up to the explosion.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian



“[11:49] JPL: What we can see of your planned cut looks good. We’re assuming the other side is identical. You’re cleared to start drilling. [12:07] Watney: That’s what she said. [12:25] JPL: Seriously, Mark? Seriously?”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian


“My asshole is doing as much to keep me alive as my brain.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian


“I admit it’s fatally dangerous,” Watney said. “But consider this: I’d get to fly around like Iron Man.” “We’ll keep working on ideas,” Lewis said. “Iron Man, Commander. Iron Man.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian


“But really, they did it because every human being has a basic instinct to help each other out. It might not seem that way sometimes, but it’s true.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian


“Just three words? Nothing about his physical health? His equipment? His supplies?'

'You got me,' she said. 'He left a detailed status report. I just decided to lie for no reason.'

'Funny,' Venkat said. 'Be a smart-ass to a guy seven levels above you at your company. See how that works out.'

'Oh no,' Mindy said. 'I might lose my job as an interplanetary voyeur? I guess I'd have to use my master's degree for something else.'

'I remember when you were shy.'

'I'm space paparazzi now. The attitude comes with the job.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian



“Live Another Sol would be an awesome name for a James Bond movie.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian


“I need to ask myself, 'What would an Apollo astronaut do?' He'd drink three whiskey sours, drive his Corvette to the launchpad, then fly to the moon in a command module smaller than my Rover. Man those guys were cool.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian


“You know what? "Kilowatt-hour per sol" is a pain in the ass to say. I'm gonna invent a new scientific unit name. One kilowatt-hour per sol is... it can be anything... um... I suck at this... I'll call it a "pirate-ninja".”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian


“Once I got home, I sulked for a while. All my brilliant plans foiled by thermodynamics. Damn you, Entropy!”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian


“Gay probe coming to save me. Got it.”
― Andy Weir, quote from The Martian



Video

About the author

Andy Weir
Born place: The United States
See more on GoodReads

Popular quotes

“I paused finally and watched the trees for slashes of light, but saw none. As my heart settled and my ears became less occupied I listened and heard nothing but the thready pulse of the night. And I sensed that the hunt was over. I'd been prey and now I was not. Prey knows this. Prey knows when it has escaped.”
― Augusten Burroughs, quote from A Wolf at the Table


“Years ago when he had been at college, Edward had shown him how to change sheets from under a sleeping man. Harper had spent a few weeks after that stealing the sheets from under his fellow seminary students.”
― Ginn Hale, quote from Wicked Gentlemen


“Do you see those white shapes?” he asked. I sucked in my breath. “What is it?” Mom shook her head. “We’re not sure yet. But, Charlotte, whatever they are, it appears that they followed us here.”
― Mara Purnhagen, quote from Past Midnight


“Photography can be an intimate experience between the photographer and his subject. But there are so many ways to express the connection without a camera in the way.”
― S.H. Kolee, quote from Fated


“We soon fall asleep in each other’s arms, knowing to myself that I captured her, like a prisoner in a cage.”
― Fernando Lachica, quote from OFW Struggles Hopes and Dreams


Interesting books

The Bones of You
(5.2K)
The Bones of You
by Debbie Howells
City of Dark Magic
(9.2K)
City of Dark Magic
by Magnus Flyte
Sapphire Blue
(58.2K)
Sapphire Blue
by Kerstin Gier
The Return of The Soldier
(3.9K)
The Return of The So...
by Rebecca West
Trust Me, I'm Lying
(3.5K)
Trust Me, I'm Lying
by Mary Elizabeth Summer
Fictions
(37.7K)
Fictions
by Jorge Luis Borges

About BookQuoters

BookQuoters is a community of passionate readers who enjoy sharing the most meaningful, memorable and interesting quotes from great books. As the world communicates more and more via texts, memes and sound bytes, short but profound quotes from books have become more relevant and important. For some of us a quote becomes a mantra, a goal or a philosophy by which we live. For all of us, quotes are a great way to remember a book and to carry with us the author’s best ideas.

We thoughtfully gather quotes from our favorite books, both classic and current, and choose the ones that are most thought-provoking. Each quote represents a book that is interesting, well written and has potential to enhance the reader’s life. We also accept submissions from our visitors and will select the quotes we feel are most appealing to the BookQuoters community.

Founded in 2023, BookQuoters has quickly become a large and vibrant community of people who share an affinity for books. Books are seen by some as a throwback to a previous world; conversely, gleaning the main ideas of a book via a quote or a quick summary is typical of the Information Age but is a habit disdained by some diehard readers. We feel that we have the best of both worlds at BookQuoters; we read books cover-to-cover but offer you some of the highlights. We hope you’ll join us.