Quotes from The Carnivorous Carnival

“Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from The Carnivorous Carnival

“Grief, a type of sadness that most often occurs when you have lost someone you love, is a sneaky thing, because it can disappear for a long time, and then pop back up when you least expect it.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from The Carnivorous Carnival

“Instead of the word 'love' there was an enormous heart, a symbol sometimes used by people who have trouble figuring out the difference between words and shapes.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from The Carnivorous Carnival

“There are almost as many kinds of libraries as there are kinds of readers.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from The Carnivorous Carnival

“Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear. Some people say that a sunrise is a miracle, because it is somewhat mysterious and often very beautiful, but other people say it is simply a fact of life, because it happens every day and far too early in the morning. Some people say that a telephone is a miracle, because it sometimes seems wondrous that you can talk with somebody who is thousands of miles away, and other people say it is merely a manufactured device fashioned out of metal parts, electronic circuitry, and wires that are very easily cut. And some people say that sneaking out of a hotel is a miracle, particularly if the lobby is swarming with policemen, and other people say it is simply a fact of life, because it happens every day and far too early in the morning. So you might think that there are so many miracles in the world that you can scarcely count them, or that there are so few that they are scarcely worth mentioning, depending on whether you spend your mornings gazing at a beautiful sunset or lowering yourself into a back alley with a rope made of matching towels.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from The Carnivorous Carnival

“For Beatrice, our love broke my heart,
and stopped yours.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from The Carnivorous Carnival

“I am so tired, I can hardly type these worfs.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from The Carnivorous Carnival

“Besides getting several paper cuts in the same day or receiving the news that someone in your family has betrayed you to your enemies, one of the most unpleasant experiences in life is a job interview.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from The Carnivorous Carnival

“The story of the Baudelaires takes place in a very real world, where some people are laughed at just because they have something wrong with them, and where children can find themselves all alone in the world, struggling to understand the mystery that surrounds them.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from The Carnivorous Carnival

“But the sad truth is that the truth is sad, and that what you want does not matter. A series of unfortunate events can happen to anyone, no matter what they want.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from The Carnivorous Carnival

“There are some things we might not know, but that doesn't mean we should give up. We can find out what we need to know. We can find out everything”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from The Carnivorous Carnival

“It is hard for decent people to stay angry at someone who has burst into tears, which is why it is often a good idea to burst into tears if a decent person is yelling at you.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from The Carnivorous Carnival

“Tragedies are stories that usually begin fairly happily and then steadily go downhill, until all of the characters are dead, wounded, or otherwise inconvenienced.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from The Carnivorous Carnival

“And sometimes we discuss frightening and troublesome animals that might be nearby, and this topic always leads to much disagreement over which part of a frightening and troublesome beast is the most frightening and troublesome. Some say the teeth of the beast, because teeth are used for eating children, and often their parents, and gnawing on their bones. Some say the claws of the beast, because claws are used for ripping things to shreds. And some say the hair of the beast, because hair can make allergic people sneeze. But I always insist that the most frightening part of any beast is its belly, for the simple reason that if you are seeing the belly of the beast it means you have already seen the teeth of the beast and the claws of the of the beast and even the hair of the beast, and now you are trapped and there is probably no hope for you.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from The Carnivorous Carnival

“There are many different things in this world to hide, but a secret is not one of them. It is difficult to hide an airplane, for instance, because you generally need to find a deep hole or an enormous haystack, and sneak the airplane inside in the middle of the night, but it is easy to hide a secret about an airplane, because you can merely write it on a tiny piece of paper and tape it to the bottom of your mattress any time you are at home. It is difficult to hide a symphony orchestra, because you usually need to rent a soundproof room and borrow as many sleeping bags as you can find, but it is easy to hide a secret about a symphony orchestra, because you can merely whisper it into the ear of a trustworthy friend or music critic. And it is difficult to hind yourself, because you sometimes need to stuff yourself into the trunk of an automobile, or concoct a disguise out of whatever you can find, but it is easy to hide a secret about yourself because you can merely type it into a book and hope it falls into the right hands. My dear sister, if you are reading things I am still alive, and heading north to try and find you.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from The Carnivorous Carnival

“It was confusing pretending to be completely different people, particularly because it had been so long since the Baudelaires were able to be the people they really were.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from The Carnivorous Carnival

“Behind these two booths was an enormous roller coaster, a phrase which here mean 'a series of small carts where people can sit and race up and down steep and frightening hills of tracks, for no discernible reason”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from The Carnivorous Carnival

“As I'm sure you know, whenever you are examine someone else's belongings, you are bound to learn many interesting things about the person of which you were not previously aware. You might examine some letters you sister received recently, for instance, and learn that she was planning on running away with an archduke. You might examine the suitcase of another passenger on a train you are taking, and learn that he had been secretly photographing you for the past six months. I recently looked in the refrigerator of one of my enemies and learned she was a vegetarian, or at least pretending to be one, or had a vegetarian visiting her for a few days. And as the Baudelaire orphans examined some of the objets in Olaf's trunk, they learned a great deal of unpleasant things.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from The Carnivorous Carnival

“One of the most troublesome things in life is that what you do or do not want has very little to do with what does or does not happen.... But the sad truth is that the truth is sad, and that what you want does not matter. A series of unfortunate events can happen to anyone, no matter what they want....”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from The Carnivorous Carnival

“...The answer to nearly every question is written down someplace. It just might take a while to find.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from The Carnivorous Carnival

“Besides getting several paper cuts in the same day or receiving the news that someone in your family has betrayed you to your enemies, one of the most unpleasant experiences in life is a job interview. It is very nerve-wracking to explain to someone all the things you can do in the hopes that they will pay you to do them. I once had a very difficult job interview in which I had not only to explain that I could hit an olive with a bow and arrow, memorize up to three pages of poetry, and determine if there was poison mixed into cheese fondue without tasting it, but I had to demonstrate all these things as well.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from The Carnivorous Carnival

“I have stood in a department store, and seen something written on a price tag that told me I had to leave at once, but in different clothing.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from The Carnivorous Carnival

“Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear. Some people say that a sunrise is a miracle, because it is somewhat mysterious and often very beautiful, but other people say it is simply a fact of life, because it happens every day and far too early in the morning.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from The Carnivorous Carnival

“...There are many things in life that become different if you take a long look at them.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from The Carnivorous Carnival

“...There are almost as many kinds of libraries as there are kinds of readers.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from The Carnivorous Carnival

“Sometimes things can go on right in front of your nose, but you don't know about them.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from The Carnivorous Carnival

“The curious thing about being told to sleep on it - a phrase which here means, as I'm sure you know, 'to go to bed thinking about something and reach a conclusion in the morning' - is that you usually can't. If you are thinking over a dilemma, you are likely to toss and turn all night long, thinking over terrible things that can happen and trying to imagine what in the world you can do about it, and these circumstances are unlikely to result in any sleeping at all.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from The Carnivorous Carnival

“As I'm sure you know, whenever you are examining someone else's belongings, you are bound to learn many interesting things about the person of which you were not previously aware. You might examine some letters your sister received recently, for instance, and learn that she was planning on running away with an archduke. You might examine the suitcases of another passenger on a train you are taking, and learn that he had been secretly photographing you for the past six months. I recently looked in the refrigerator of one of my enemies and learned she was a vegetarian, or at least pretending to be one, or had a vegetarian visiting her for a few days.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from The Carnivorous Carnival

“if you don't choose the wicked thing what in the world will you do?”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from The Carnivorous Carnival

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