“Come hell or high water, I will separate you from your man-business. I don't care how, or if you kill me. If it means me, dead, holding your junk, I'll take your junk. Got that?”
“The thing is, Iris, I've never liked the idea of compromise. In films and in stories people who love each other — really love each other — make horrendous sacrifices. They give kidneys they move across the world they die. Or become the undead because you know I like that sort of book. Basically the heroine's lover calls and she answers. Which is stupid. You know why ”
Iris shook her head.
“Because he's always fucking calling.”
“I swear to the gods that if you answer one more of my questions with a question, I am going to go all Tyson and bite your damned ear off...”
“They were paragons of conservative propriety in public, but in private they swung like pinatas.”
“If I pee my pants I am going to be so pissed.”
“Did you take your sassy pills tonight, Jules?”
“Seriously, Jane. I will cut a bitch.”
“Where did you even learn that expression? Have you been watching RuPaul’s Drag Race again?”
“Ryu was being more than a little dramatic, but drama and Ryu went together like cheese and… Well, cheese goes with everything.”
“Besides, there’s no issue. Not yet, at least. Ryu’s in Boston; I’m in Rockabill; Anyan is in absentia. So I’ll just keep ignoring everything till I get walloped with it. Then I’ll panic and run to you.”
“Somewhere squidgy. Your belly, maybe?”
“I can’t believe you called my belly ‘squidgy.’ It’s not squidgy, it’s pillowy. And sexy!”
“I wanted to pull out his toenails and poke them in his eyeballs.”
“I was with you right up until you said, ‘Bring the pain.’ I’ve only ever brought cookies, or the occasional casserole.”
“I just think you should concentrate more on what you are good at, and the strengths you already have, instead of worrying about changing yourself into something you’re not.”
“Your happiness means everything to me. I will listen for your voice in the distance. I will look at the moon. I will keep you in my pocket. I will carry your smile with me everywhere like a warm and comforting glow.”
“Maybe all the secrets of life were written on the surface of leaves, waiting to be translated. If I touched them long enough, I might be given some information no one else had.”
“Kid, let me tell you something. Most people spend their short time in this world less than half alive. They wander through their days in a haze of responsibility and resentment. Something happens to them not long after they're born. They get conflicted about what they want and start worshiping the wrong gods. Should. Mercy. Equality. Altruism. There's nothing you should do. Do what you want. Mercy isn't Nature's way. She's an equal opportunity killer. We aren't born the same. Some are stronger, faster. Never apologize for it. Altruism is an impossible concept. There's no action you can make that doesn't spring from how you want to feel about yourself.”
“I like 'fresh fruit flan'," said the donkey. "Three excellent words."
"I don't have one," said Noah immediately before the question could even be asked, and the donkey opened his eyes wide in suprise, and for a moment Noah wondered whether he might even consider eating him.”
“You’re a mother’s dream, tall, dark and handsome, good manners, straight teeth and wealthy.”
“What about her daughter’s dream. How am I doing there?”
“Fulfilling them all.” I lifted my head to kiss him softly.”
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