Quotes from Slam!

“That’s my darling little doggie. Bubbles by name, bubbles for brains. You’ve got to love him.”
― J.L. Merrow, quote from Slam!

“When a bloke takes you out for a meal You’d think sex would be part of the deal Not a pat on the head And a cold lonely bed When he leaves without copping a feel”
― J.L. Merrow, quote from Slam!

“Knut, this is Jude. Remember I told you about him? He writes poetry.” Knut looked my half-Japanese self up and down. “Haiku?” he guessed. “Gesundheit,” I muttered sourly.”
― J.L. Merrow, quote from Slam!

“I frowned. “Are you sure about this? It’s a bit short.” “So? It’s poetry, not dick size.”
― J.L. Merrow, quote from Slam!

“So come on, tell me all the dirt about your date. Did he tie you up with his black belt? Show off his mystic knowledge of Eastern sex practices? What?” I let my head slump into my hands. “He gave me a kiss and said good night.” “He didn’t! The bastard.”
― J.L. Merrow, quote from Slam!

“A pirate once shouted ‘Avast! I’ve caught you, you seadog, at last! Best pull out your sword— I’m coming aboard! Drop your britches, and climb up me mast!”
― J.L. Merrow, quote from Slam!

“All right, here’s a limerick: A young martial artist called Dave Was fearless and handsome and brave He saved me from thugs When I nearly got mugged So now I’m forever Dave’s slave.” There was a short silence. I cringed. “Um, sorry. Came out a bit gay, that one.” Bugger, bugger, bugger.”
― J.L. Merrow, quote from Slam!

“Look, I really appreciate you bringing me here, but I think there’s something you ought to know about me.” David smiled. “If it’s that you’re gay—“ Oh, puh-leeze. “No—God, no. I mean, yes, obviously, I’m fruitier than a greengrocers’ convention, but no, that wasn’t what I was about to say.”
― J.L. Merrow, quote from Slam!

“No, that’s just Saturdays.” The whisper came from an orange-belted ninja. Did that make him a ginja?”
― J.L. Merrow, quote from Slam!

“Lead me!” I told him fervently. “Astray is, like, my favourite place ever.”
― J.L. Merrow, quote from Slam!

“You’re a darling, Keisha. If you weren’t a girl, I’d marry you.” “If I wasn’t a girl, I’d run a bloody mile next time I saw you coming.” “But, sweetie, you’ve never actually seen me coming. Unless you’ve got a spy camera rigged up in my bedroom, of course.”
― J.L. Merrow, quote from Slam!

“A young man, when sliced up by glass From a footballer’s tragic mis-pass Said, ‘Hey, there’s no harm Done; it’s only an arm. I’m just thankful it wasn’t my arse.”
― J.L. Merrow, quote from Slam!

“Keisha frowned. “Maybe he’s hoping for hidden depths?” “I haven’t even got hidden”
― J.L. Merrow, quote from Slam!

“I was worried I’d scared you off,” I said as I slid into the passenger seat. “Being too gay and all.” “No—I, er…” He hesitated, and I looked at him sharply. Well, slightly less bluntly, anyway. My head still hurt. “I don’t have a problem with you being gay, Jude. I’m…well, I’m into blokes myself.” “You are?” I may have squeaked a bit. “But you’re so…” Butch, I should have said. And manly, and muscular, and gorgeous, and I bet you’re hairy too in all the right places. What came out was, “Straight.”
― J.L. Merrow, quote from Slam!

“We all walked down the street together, looking like a sort of pick-and-mix adopted family: dad, disabled mum, and two differently mixed-race kids. Madonna would have been so proud of us.”
― J.L. Merrow, quote from Slam!

“I’ll learn all the katas and be the ninjing-est ninja that ever ninjed.” Bubbles whined, so I bent down to rub his silky little head. “Is it the c-word, Bubbs? Don’t you worry, we love the doggas as well as the katas.” David laughed.”
― J.L. Merrow, quote from Slam!

“Roll over," he said, his voice all rough. "Jude, I want to be inside you. Is that okay?"
I sort of whimpered. Then nodded vigorously, in case he couldn't speak whimper.”
― J.L. Merrow, quote from Slam!

“Sod it. If he laid a finger on my David, I’d just have to use my newfound martial arts mojo and kick him in the Knuts.”
― J.L. Merrow, quote from Slam!

“I’m fruitier than a greengrocers’ convention,”
― J.L. Merrow, quote from Slam!

“No need to read anything into it.” “Yeah, right. ’Cept it’s your tightest jeans, the ones that’ll give you gangrene in your nuts if you’re not careful,”
― J.L. Merrow, quote from Slam!

“He gave me a kiss and said good night.” “He didn’t! The bastard.” “Yeah,” I muttered to the tabletop. “He said he’d had a nice time.” “I’ll sodding kill him. What went wrong, Judi-babe?”
― J.L. Merrow, quote from Slam!

“Are you sure about this? It’s a bit short.” “So? It’s poetry, not dick size.”
― J.L. Merrow, quote from Slam!

“Oh my God, you’re right! Our third date. We should totally have sex now!” It wasn’t my fault the waiter was walking past just as I said it and dropped the plate he was carrying. David stopped trying and laughed out loud.”
― J.L. Merrow, quote from Slam!

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Popular quotes

“Another way of putting it is that Obama played the anti-war, anti-Wall Street party crasher to his grassroots base, which imagined itself leading an insurgency against the two-Party monopoly through dogged organization and donations gathered from lemonade stands and loose change found in the crevices of the couch. Meanwhile, he took more money from Wall Street than any other presidential candidate, swallowed the Democratic Party establishment in one gulp after defeating Hillary Clinton, then pursued “bipartisanship” with crazed Republicans once in the White House.”
― Naomi Klein, quote from No Logo

“I’ll tell you this, if he gives me one more order with that W word again, I’m going to divorce him before we can even finish the wedding.”
“The W . . . Okay, Bella, as usual you have lost me. W word?”
“Yeah. W, . . . as in Wife. Ugh! He’s always saying or thinking things in this high and mighty way and tacking the word ‘wife’ onto the end like it’s some kind of password that lets him order me around.” Bella noted her friend’s still perplexed expression, so she screwed up her face, attitude, and voice into an uncanny approximation of Jacob. “‘I do not want you hunting in your condition, wife. It is too dangerous for you and the babe to accompany me, wife. I have told Elijah that there are to be no more training lessons until after the birth, and do not argue with me about this, wife, because my mind is set.” Isabella sagged back with a frustrated sigh. “Oy! It’s just so obnoxious and so . . . high-handed! You know the honeymoon is over when you go from ‘my love,’ ‘my little flower,’ and ‘my heart’ and become simply ‘wife.’”
Legna smothered the urge to chuckle. Her little friend’s famous sarcasm always tickled her, and it was meant to tickle. Bella had a way of hiding behind her wit and humor. She was stating things that clearly disturbed her, but she mocked them in such a way that anyone who did not know her would treat it as little more than a comedy routine.
Legna knew better.
“Now, Bella, you know Jacob adores you. He naturally wants to protect you. He literally worships the ground you walk on.”
“Ha ha,” Bella said dryly. “Earth Demon. Worship the ground. Cute. Really cute.”
“Well, come on now. Seriously. As a Demon of the Earth, Jacob has an affinity with nature.”
― Jacquelyn Frank, quote from Gideon

“Anyway, you're to have four sets- to match jewels, I suppose- white gold, pale gold, yellow gold and rose gold. Can't have your oculars clashing with your bracelets, I suppose. I'll send the 'prentice up with them later. I'm waiting for the frames to cool now."
"If the Princess is not here, you can leave them with her handmaiden, Iris," Lady Thalia put in, and came around to take a look at the Sophont's handiwork. She blinked. "Good heavens. That is 'much' more flattering!"
"Yes, it is," Balan agreed with a lopsided smile. "Now you can see what pretty eyes she has. Well, I'm off! Lady Thalia, it was a pleasure meeting you. Princess, a delight to serve you!"
As soon as he was out of the room, Andie was out of the chair. Picking up the skirt of her gown this time to keep it from tripping her, she ran to her bedroom to peer into the little mirror over her dressing table.
The difference was astounding. The old oculars had been small, vaguely rectangular, and had cut across her face like a slash mark. These were large, circular and, for the first time, did not obscure her eyes. If anything, they made her eyes look bigger, like those of a young animal, soft and giving an impression of innocence and vulnerability. The frame, of white gold, was very simple and polished, somehow less fussy than Balan's frame of twisted wire had been.
"Gracious!" Iris exclaimed. "What a difference!"
"You don't think they look-well- 'owlish'?" Lady Thalia asked, a little doubtfully.
"Not a bit!" Iris declared. "Just look how big they make her eyes look! And 'you've' heard all those daft poets, my Lady, going on about a girl's eyes supposed to be like a doe's, or big pools of water!”
― Mercedes Lackey, quote from One Good Knight

“If I had to guess, nephew, I would surmise that you are not in direct trouble as such. However, I will confess to the distinct and unsettling feeling that very large, very ponderous and most momentous wheels have been set in motion. When that happens I believe the lessons of history tend to indicate that it is best not to be in their way. Even without meaning harm, the workings and progress of such wheels are on a scale which inevitably reduces the worth of individual lives to an irrelevance at best.”
― Iain M. Banks, quote from The Algebraist

“(LBJ) had what a journalist calls “a genius for analogy”— made the point unforgettably, in dialect, in the rhythmic cadences of a great storyteller. Master of the senate”
― Robert A. Caro, quote from Master of the Senate

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