Bryan Lee O'Malley · 192 pages
Rating: (32.4K votes)
“Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday. Because you'll be dust on Monday. Because I'll be pulverizing you sometime over the weekend. And the cleaning lady... cleans up... dust. She dusts. And she has weekends off, so... Monday. Right?”
“Listen to this, okay? Just listen. You hear that? That's market bacon hitting the pan. Today a child is born unto us, and his name will be bacon.”
“Let's be friends based on mutual hate.”
“I need some kind of... like... last minute, poorly-set-up deus ex machina!!”
“Stephen... you know how, when a baby is first born, it just cries at the sheer horror of being alive?”
“I'll love you forever. And I have dipping sauce for you! I'll be your dipping sauce bitch!”
“Let's be friends based on mutual hate."
- Wallace Wells
"Listen to this, okay? Just listen. You hear that? That's' market bacon hitting the pan. Today a child is born unto us, and his name will be bacon."
- Wallace Wells”
“I've had a weird couple of weeks, you know?"
"I completely know".
"But I- I mean, I'm not totally happy, but there's no way I'd go back to my old obvious self! I like it here. I like all the... confusion and heartbreak".
"It wasn't that bad... was it?"
"Scott... yes, it was. But I feel like I've learned some stuff along the way. I know things now".”
“I do have an important question, but I can ask it from out here. Are you dry?
Of course I'm dry. Why do you ask that?
So many daughters have come home wet lately.”
“I hate you! (Artemis)
Don’t keep saying that, Artie. It’s cruel to get my hopes up. (Acheron)”
“Her soft pink lips, her sweet breath . . . oh, how my soul beckons hers.”
“I had thus learned to push down my feelings, to force myself to not care, to do nothing and let things happen, come what may.”
“I walk up and down the rows. The heads look like rubber halloween masks. They also look like human heads, but my brain has no precedent for human heads on tables or in roasting pans or anywhere other than on top of a human bodies, and so I think it has chosen to interpret the sight in a more comforting manner. - Here we are at the rubber mask factory. Look at the nice men and woman working on the masks.”
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