Rowdy

You're a dumb shit. There's a million first girls for a million different first things. There's the first girl you slow-dance with, and the first girl you go to bed with. There's the first girl to give you a kiss, and then the first one you take home to mama." His amber eyes lit up with humor. "There's the first girl you fight with and the first girl you fight for. There's also the first girl you have to let go of. There's the first girl you love, obviously, and the first girl to break your heart. There's always a first girl, Rowdy, but there is also the girl that is going to come after her until you get to the last girl. The last girl is the one that really matters.

I always thought it was the firsts that matter, but now I know that it’s the lasts that stay with you.

You are the last person I want to kiss. The last woman I want in my bed. I want you to be the last girl that touches any and all parts of me, Salem, and that means so much more than a first.

It's okay to be scared, I really think that's how that whatever it is you're meant to be doing matters, but it's not okay to not find that thing you're supposed to be doing because you're afraid of something new.

I don't think it's where you go that matters, I think it's where you end up.

You found your family tree, Rowdy, and the branches are stronger and sturdier than most people with blood relatives have.

We might have been on the outside looking in at our own families and our own lives, but at least we could stand outside together.

I kissed her because I had to. I kissed her because I wanted to. I kissed her because kissing her was starting to make me feel like I had found something I wasn't really aware I had been looking for. Mostly I kissed her because ever time she kissed me back I felt her settling a piece of herself even more deeply inside of me.

Fighting for everything made fighting for the things that actually mattered get lost in the noise and lose their significance.

Dedicated to anyone who is trying to figure out where they are supposed to be. Don’t worry, friends, the universe has a plan for you; you just need to listen to what it’s trying to tell you and you’ll eventually end up exactly where you were always meant to be.

There a million first girls for a million different first things. There’s the first girl you slow-dance with, and the first girl you go to bed with. There’s the first girl to give you a kiss, and then the first one you take home to your mama.” His amber eyes lit up with humor. “There’s the first girl you fight with and the first girl you fight for. There’s also the first girl you have to let go of. There’s the first girl you love, obviously, and the first girl to break your heart. There’s always a first girl, Rowdy, but there is also the girl that is going to come after her until you get to the last girl. The last girl is the one that really matters.

I feel like you and the past have been chasing me down ever since you walked into that shop, Salem.” She didn’t answer me but I noticed a little pink work its way into her dusky cheeks. “What are you going to do if I decide to let you catch me?

My home is a little more complicated than coordinates on a map.

(It’s a doozy! I could listen to it all day long.) Nikki Lane—“Gone, Gone, Gone,” “Coming Home to You” Patterson Hood—“Belvedere,” “Back of a Bible” Ryan Bingham—“Guess Who’s Knocking” American Aquarium—“Casualties” Devil Doll—“The Things You Make Me Do” American Aquarium—“I’m Not Going to the Bar” Hank Williams Jr.—“Family Tradition” David Allan Coe—“Mama Tried” John Paul Keith—“She’ll Dance to Anything” Carl Perkins—“Honey, Don’t” Scott H. Biram—“Lost Case of Being Found” The Cramps—“The Way I Walk” The Reverend Horton Heat—“Jimbo Song” Justin Townes Earle—“Baby’s Got a Bad Idea” Old Crow Medicine Show—“Wagon Wheel,” “Hard to Love” Dirty River Boys—“My Son” JD McPherson—“Wolf Teeth” Empress of Fur—“Mad Mad Bad Bad Mama” Dwight Yoakam—“Little Sister” The Meteors—“Psycho for Your Love” Hayes Carll—“Love Don’t Let Me Down” HorrorPops—“Dotted with Hearts” Buddy Holly—“Because I Love You” Chris Isaak—“Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing” Jason Isbell—“The Devil Is My Running Mate” Lindi Ortega—“When All the Stars Align” Three Bad Jacks—“Scars” Kasey Anderson and the Honkies—“My Blues, My Love

We can know one thing, Rowdy, but our heart holds on to something else.” “I don’t want it to hold on to that anymore. I just want it to hold on to you.

Dedicato a tutti quelli che cercano di capire dove dovrebbero essere. Non preoccupatevi, amici, l’universo ha in serbo un piano per voi; dovete solo ascoltare quello che sta cercando di dirvi e alla fine arriverete esattamente dove avreste sempre dovuto essere.

I’ve heard you say my name in a lot of ways, Salem. Gotta say hearing you say it in bed when I’m about to eat you up is probably my favorite to date.

There’s always a first girl, Rowdy, but there is also the girl that is going to come after her until you get to the last girl. The last girl is the one that really matters.

It was a far better idea to enjoy the time I had with those that matter than it was to obsess and worry over what would happen when that time ran out.

It might have taken me a long-ass time to figure out the difference between first love and real love, but, Salem, there is nothing more real than what I feel for you.

Not too long ago the idea of her being between him and me would have had me freezing Rowdy out and pushing him away again. The fear that what he used to feel for her would somehow overwhelm what he now felt for me was gone. I could see it when he looked at me now. I felt it in every touch and saw it in every rakish smile he threw my way. When he loved, he loved wholly, completely, and forever. I knew it deep down in my bones, just like Cora had said. What was between us was just right, it had always been. We both needed time to grow up and let it find its way to a solid and healthy place so we could both enjoy it.

moved my hair off of my neck and shoulders and showed her the field of flowers and birds flying across my back. “He drew this for me when he was twelve. The birds were free and he knew that’s the only thing I ever wanted. It was how he tried to give me some kind of liberty from my father’s rule.” Sayer leaned closer to look at the design, and when she pulled back she put her hands on the table and looked at me with serious eyes. “Salem, I don’t know Rowdy that well but I can look at that and see someone handing you their heart. I can’t believe you have any kind of question about how he feels about you. What other man since then has tried to offer you what you wanted most? He was just a kid at the time and he was trying to make your dreams come true.

I had gone from all the “remember whens” to appreciating all the things she brought with her to the here and now.

I haven’t done something real, Salem. I loved Poppy for a lot of reasons and I don’t know looking back on it now that any of them would have lasted or would make any kind of sense now.

You’re a dumb shit. There a million first girls for a million different first things. There’s the first girl you slow-dance with, and the first girl you go to bed with. There’s the first girl to give you a kiss, and then the first one you take home to your mama.” His amber eyes lit up with humor. “There’s the first girl you fight with and the first girl you fight for. There’s also the first girl you have to let go of. There’s the first girl you love, obviously, and the first girl to break your heart. There’s always a first girl, Rowdy, but there is also the girl that is going to come after her until you get to the last girl. The last girl is the one that really matters.

It really was all about where I had ended up and not where I had been, because as long as he was there, wherever that happened to be was going to be where I was supposed to be at as well.

Phil owned a cabin out in the woods on a private lake in Boulder that he passed on to Nash … He told me I could borrow it for a few days until we get our shit straight. There’s no electricity and no modern amenities, so all there is to do is fish, fuck, and talk.” He lifted an eyebrow at me with a leer. “I didn’t bring any fishing poles.