Remnants of Filth: Yuwu (Novel) Vol. 1

Light was something you gave me; warmth was something you brought me. All the blood that races through my heart is because of you. Without you, I wouldn’t have made it to today.

I will give it to you. I'll give you a home.

It was you who gave me faith...and in the end, you were the reason I lost that faith. You said I didn't care about anything, that I had nothing to lose, so it didn't matter. But when you stepped onto that path, do you know what I lost? I was never the person who didn't care. It was you.

Don't worry, even if you're no longer a noble young master, you'll always be you. There's an ember in your heart, and sooner or later, it will glow. I can see it, and others will too.

They were enemies, separated by a chasm of accumulated hatred only death could resolve. But before this had come to pass, before they had parted ways, these two youths had once been passionately entangled—until love became one with desire. Until they were loath to part.

Gu Mang had been his companion, his rival, his shixiong, his comrade in arms - and in the end, Gu Mang became an enemy he was meant to slaughter.

One could have said that he'd lived twenty-seven years without evr making a single major mistake. Except for Gu Mang. For Mo Xi, Gu Mang was like ink on a paper or mud in the snow, the suggestive smear of blood left upon the pristine white of a gentleman's bedsheets. He was the stain on Mo Xi's life.

He only knew that Gu Mang was alive. That was enough.

No matter what, I'll wait for you. I'll keep waiting, no matter how long it takes. But remember this: If you lie to me again - if I find out you're still lying to me - I won't be stabbed in the same place twice.

Of course it obeys me.” he said with barely contained fury. ”Because your sigil used my blood, and your sigil was drawn by my hand, because...the one who created this array was never you - it was me.

The only circumstance under which Mo Xi could imagine amiably sharing a jug of wine with Gu Mang was in a cemetery, with Gu Mang buried in the earth, and himself standing upon it. Then he might talk to the man like he once had, and place a bouquet of red peonies shaped from spiritual energy on his grave.

Light was something you gave me; warmth was something you brought me. All the blood that races through my heart is because of you. Without you, I wouldn't have made it to today.

Ah, to be honest, it was only because of Gu Mang that I enlisted. I once even drank with him around a fire. He didn't put on any airs, either. Back then...back then, as I watched him laugh, I thought - if one day I could die for him in battle, it would be a good way to go.

Mo Xi, for me, the way up is a dead end. I have nowhere to go - I can only fumble toward hell.

Mo Xi. It's fine, don't be sad. No matter what, we'll always be together. No matter how hard things get, I'll pull this through. Come on, let's go home.” -Gu Mang

After Gu Mang had sobered, he stopped shouting. Yet for some reason, Mo Xi always got the feeling that although Gu Mang was smiling, there was something else behind that smile - something he couldn't clearly see.

None of the knew what this noble young master who `didn't understand their suffering` had secretly sacrificed to keep them alive - to ensure those born with Gu Mang's same status wouldn't be condemned to a lifetime of powerlessness from the day they were born.

It was Gu Mang who had brought his brothers crawling back, who had returned the bodies of the dead. He'd seen hope, he'd seen the future, and so he had roared, enduring it all to say: ”Come, everything's okay, You've named me General Gu, so I'll bring you home no matter what.

He thought of Gu Mang in their academy days, standing with his back to Mo Xi and sighing with exasperation. `Shidi, you work too hard. Can you still move your legs? Come here, get on my back. I'll take you home.

He grew jealous of Gu Mang, doubted him, and stripped him off his authority. He even crossed a line Gu Mang couldn't possibly endure. Mo Xi watched Gu Mang fall into the abyss with his own eyes.

Was this what meant to reap what you sow? To be the arhitect of your own destruction?

Gu Mang was a man of his word. He traded fur coats for wine and spirit jades for meat, and once he even took off all his military robes and armour and tossed them on the bar in exchange for nuerhong rice wine, at which point the army thugs started laughing and heckling him `General Gu, we want beef too. Do you have anything else you could take off?

His very presence seem to bring laughter and sweetness to the battlefield, as thought such places could be more than freezing cold and crimson blood.

No. If I had the choice

That glint in his eyes wasn’t saying

No. If I had the choice, I would never have even thought of fighting you. Light was something you gave me; warmth was something you brought me. All the blood that races through my heart is because of you. Without you, I wouldn’t have made it to today.

People loved to take a person who seemed decent and good and enshrine them in their hearts, pinning all their beautiful fantasies on that person’s shoulders just to bring a little light to themselves.

Li Wei thought, Tell you? What am I supposed to tell you? Have you seen that temper of yours?! If I said Gu Mang might not have understood Wangshu-jun’s question, you’d leap to your feet and kick me to death!

Get blood on me—I don’t mind. Give me your hand. No matter how dirty you are, I will embrace you. No matter how much it hurts, I will stay with you. No matter how far it is, I will bring you home.

You nearly killed me.” Just because, back then, I loved you more than I feared death.

You remember his malice, but you’re unable to forget his kindness,” the emperor continued. “You hate that he yet lives, but if you were to really see his blood spilled, your heart couldn’t handle it.

He was like an idiot beyond saving, angrily reminding himself he could never again make the same mistake while continuing to hang himself again and again on the same tree.

I’ve never been drunk. Only once did I have a little too much, just that once. You saw me, you teased me, and you forgave me. From then on, I kept myself strictly in check and never allowed myself such lack of restraint again. How did you forget? How could you forget? How dare you forget!

Delicate lines rippled over the lake’s surface, the shattered motes of reflected light like a skyful of flickering stars.

It won't hurt anymore once I'm used to it. If I endure it, it'll pass.... all of this will pass.

Getting on your knees denotes submission, humility, and deference. But there's none of that in your face. You've only bent your knees; your back is still straight.

But…you look like you’re in pain…like it really hurts. “Hating me, it hurts you?

Perhaps our paths were destined to diverge from the start.

Give me your hand. No matter how dirty you are

But…you look like you’re in pain…like it really hurts. “Hating me

His head hung low, as if the loss of his hope had taken with it his will to live.

INDIFFERENCE TO GOOD AND EVIL, disinterest in right and wrong: such were the roots of ignorance.

Gu Mang didn't understand that some people's hearts shouldn't be touched. They never played around; rather, they were the solitary guardians of the pure affection they held cupped in their hands. They had only a little bit of romance in their hearts, just enough to lavish on a singular person in all their life.

...impulses start off potent, and wane as time passes and consideration sets in.

I'm worthy of being called your shige, your brother. Get blood on me - I don't mind. Give me your hand. No matter how dirty you are, I will embrace you. No matter how much it hurts, I will stay with you. No matter how far it is, I will bring you home. -Gu Mang

I don't know what a `lord` is. But...it sounds okay. I want it to be you. -Gu Mang

When the two of you joined hands to design your clever schemes, he was your first victim. Gu Mang, if I cared for Mo Xi at all, my greatest wish would be for him to never have met you.

You have to…day by day…spend the rest of your life taking care of this home with me. Okay?

I love you, I've always loved you... I'm sorry, I was selfish in the past. I was the one who didn't think about what you wanted or what you were afraid of. I wanted to protect you in my own way, but I didn't know... didn't know..." Didn't know you would stumble after me to make up for eight years of lost time, that you would forsake the best of your youth trying to bring me back. I didn't know you were sure of your choice at such a young age--that you would devote a lifetime to one person. I didn't know that even after enduring so much, you would still walk beside me, even into hell.

I told you long ago--in this world, I have no one dear to me, except for you. When you protected me, why didn't you think that would be cruelest to me? Did you think I would fear is you never returning to my side, Gu Mang--I'm afraid of losing you!

I'll stay with you. When I'm not here, this sword array will protect you. If you need me, if you're willing to let me know, if you can trust me... All you have to do is say my name, Shixiong. I'll always come to your side.