“Thinking, not for the first time, that life should come with a trapdoor. Just a little exit hatch you could disappear through when you´d utterly and completely mortified yourself. Or when you had spontaneous zit eruptions.
“Good book?” he asked, taking it from her and reading the subtitle, “A Guide for Good Girls Who (Sometimes) Want to Be Bad,” out loud.
But life did not come with a trapdoor. ”
“You talk more when you're nervous," he said, still standing close to her.
"No i don't. That's absurd. I'm just trying to explain to you-"
"Do i make you nervous?"
"No. I'm not nervous."
"I'm cold. I'm wearing practically zero clothes."
His glance went to her lips, then back to her eyes. "I noticed.”
“Foxy girls know that silence may be golden-but only for four seconds. Anything longer and you're heading for Awkward Avenue.”
“That kiss you gave me was the hottest kiss i've ever had. I pulled away because i was afraid i wouldn't be able to stop myself from ripping off your clothes. And that didn't seem like the right way to end a first date. I didn't want you to think that was all i was interested in."
She stared at him. There was silence again, but this time she didn't worry about how long it went on.
"Why didn't you tell me?" She said finally.
"I tried to, but every time i saw you afterward you disappeared. I got the feeling you were avoiding me."
"i didn't want things to be awkward."
"Yeah, there was nothing awkward about you hiding behind a plant when i came into the dining hall at lunch on wednesday."
"I wasn't hiding. I was, um, breathing. You know, oxygen. From the plant. Very oxygenated, that air is."
"Of course. I should have thought of that."
"It's a healthy thing. Not many people know about it.”
“Are you wearing space pants?" Miranda asked him.
How did it end? oh, right. "Because your butt is fine."
He gazed at her in that way he had like he was measuring her for straitjacket. "I think-" he started, then stopped and seemed to be having trouble talking. Cleared his throat three times before saying, "I think the line is 'because your butt is out of this world."
"Oh. That makes a lot more sense. I can see that. See, I read this book about how to get guys to like you and they said it was a line that never failed but i got interrupted in the middle and the line before it was about china-not the country, the kind you eat off of-and that is where the fine part was but i must have gotten them confused. He just kept staring at her.”
“...Go live ITM."
In the Mo," Beth elaborated.”
“Except I do care about being pretty. Der. I don't think there's a single person in the world who doesn't care about being pretty. Any female, at any rate.”
“When crime was working as it was supposed to it was very dull. Very lucrative and very dull.”
“Time is precious. Waste it wisely.”
“The website didn't say how much brains--or even how many--I should eat, only that I should eat them in 48 hours OR ELSE. Why doesn't anyone pay attention to details anymore? Would it be so hard to add a simple line like, BTW, Maddy, 3 pounds of brains per week is plenty?
Seriously, am I the first new zombie ever to ask?”
“New beatitudes came from him [Bobby]: “Blessed are those who live in hovels, for God will give them palaces in heaven.”
He gave them new commandments:
“God weeps when anyone kills in his name; kill not.
“God hates hate; hate not.
“God loves love; love more.
“You need not trust in God; you need hope that God will trust in you.
"You are your own master. The way is within you.”
“Lesson no. 20: Happiness is a certain way of seeing things.”
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