“He dropped his pants and went at it looking like Winnie-the-Pooh in his red polo shirt.”
“The Summer of Jake and Roxie – it was the best summer of my life.”
“You know you know you have a great friend when you can go months or even years without speaking and as soon as you see each other again it's like no time has passed at all?”
“Nobody wants to sit in a theatre and watch petty arguing and boring sex scenes (ahem, Jason Segal and Emily Blunt).”
“Writing things down with a pen is a lot faster and more therapeutic than trying to type something on a tiny touchscreen keyboard.”
“I was sitting on the toilet when he told me he wanted a divorce.”
“I do have a Blackberry, isn't that enough?”
“Mission: Back in the New York Groove had begun!”
“Ouch," he said.
"Move your foot."
"Glad to see you, too."
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
"You missed the bus," he said.
"Need chicken soup?"
"Actually, it's my period," I lied. "Killer cramps."
"Chocolate and a heating pad?"
"How do you know that?"
"I have an older sister and my mom is a kick-ass feminist," he said. "I'm probably the only guy in school who can buy tampons without having a seizure. Look, at that, I can even say the word. 'Tampon, tampon, tampon.' If you say it enough, it stops sounding like a word, know what I mean?”
“The floor went completely black when Mr. Amos pulled the door shut. I couldn’t see it now, but I’d rememorized the exact shape the stain was in. The padlock snapped shut with the loudest click I’d ever heard.”
“them. “I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to leave. I’ll gather everyone up, and we’ll leave you and your men alone. I’d put a sign above St. Louis for all the hired thugs, if I could.” “What would it say?” I asked. “Here is a bigger motherfucker than you are.” Jacob”
“It is that we are never so defenseless against suffering as when we love, never no helplessly unhappy as when we have lost our loved object of its love.”
“I wasn't thinking all of them—just Zed and Victor. Zed as the seventh son has a touch of most of our skills and can hold us together when we do a joint investigation. He’s a pain in the neck but a useful one.”
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