Quotes from Married with Zombies

“So you killed him with what now?"

"I tried that Dr. Phil book at first"..."And I finished it off with the toilet seat. Just so you know, you left it up again. That drives me crazy.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies

“Just because she tried to eat us doesn't mean she was wrong”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies

“Give each other a compliment every day. Even when the undead attack, its nice to feel pretty. Or badass.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies

“Address one issue at a time.You can't load gasoline, pick up food, AND kill fifteen zombies at once”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies

“Balance the world in your relationship. No one person should be responsible for killing ALL the Zombies.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies

“I stared at him. "David, that's prison movies, not zombie movie.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies

“Find creative ways to have fun together. Looting is really underrated.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies

“Never go to bed angry. Terrified is okay.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies

“Support your partner in their interests. You never know when batting practice, kung fu movie moves, or even a poker night might come in handy during a zombie infestation.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies

“Thank God for the second amendment.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies

“I went all kung fu on his zombie ass.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies

“I stopped as I thought of poor Jack on my bathroom floor, just another victim of Dr. Phil.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies

“Make requests, not demands. "Please" kill that zombie, honey, I'm out of bullets.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies

“Build mutual friendships. Just be ready to end them when your friends start trying to eat you.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies

“I should have known that having "end of the world" sex wouldn't solve our problems. Though, it was pretty great and I highly recommend it.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies

“Because I'm not really certain she'd make the best travel partner through a zombie-infested city, he hissed. She gets confused by Scrabble.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies

“You are your partner are on the same side - it's the side of the living.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies

“Share in your activities and interests. If you are going to kill zombies anyway, why not do it together?”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies

“Present a united front: YOU against the zombies.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies

“Talk openly about important issues like money, sex, and religion. They can affect your life and happiness a great deal. Especially when it comes to cults.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies

“Show physical affection. Nothing says "I love you" like bearing the entirety of your spouse's weight.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies

“Admit when you're wrong. It doesn't fix a busted leg, of course, but it's a nice gesture none-the-less.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies

“Men are from Mars. Zombies are from Hell.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies

“Um, didn’t Mythbusters once do an episode about how you couldn’t use sheets as a way out of prison?” I laughed. “I don’t remember if they busted it or not.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies

“Have you ever wanted to smash a car? Or break a television? Or maybe burn a big fire in the middle of a city square? If the answer is yes, then you'd have some fun during a zombie infestation. It's the little moments, you know?”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies

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Popular quotes

“Știu mai bine decât voi că "tristețea universală" nu e o ficțiune pusă în circulație de vechii literați,pentru că o port în mine și știu ce-i asta și nu vreau să o ascund.Trebuie să mă obișnuiesc să vorbesc cu curaj,să le spun oamenilor de la obraz care-mi sunt calitățile.”
― Venedikt Erofeev, quote from Moscow to the End of the Line

“Queer creatures, females," mused Mr. Standen, shaking his head. "Fellow's only got to be a rake to have 'em all dangling after him. Silly, really, because it stands to reason---- Well never mind that!”
― Georgette Heyer, quote from Cotillion

“We have snacks, everybody!”
“Where’d you get them from, Delaware?” Ben asked. He was glaring behind me, where Sage leaned casually against the wall.
“Practically,” I said. “My fault-I was dying for Red Hots. Pretty much impossible to find. So what movie are we watching?”
Back in the cave, Sage had told me I wasn’t much of an actress, and apparently he was right. I thought I put on a brilliant show, but Ben’s eyes were filled with suspicion, Rayna looked like she was ready to pounce, and Sage seemed to be working very hard to stifle his laughter.
Rayna yawned. “Can’t do it. I’m so tired. I’m sorry, but I have to kick you guys out and get some sleep.”
She wasn’t much better at acting than I was. I knew she wanted to talk, but the idea of being away from Sage killed me.
“No worries,” I said. “I can bring he snacks to the guys’ room. We can watch there and let you sleep.”
“Great!” Ben said.
Rayna gaped, and in the space of ten seconds, she and I had a full conversation with only our eyes.
Rayna: “What the hell?”
Me: “I know! But I want to hang out with Sage.”
Rayna: “Are you insane?! You’ll be with him for the rest of your life. I’m only with you until morning!”
I couldn’t fight that one. She was right.
“Actually, I’m pretty tired too,” I said. I even forced a yawn, though judging from Sage’s smirk, it wasn’t terribly convincing.
“You sure?” Ben asked. He was staring at me in a way that made me feel X-rayed.
“Positive. Take some snacks, though. I got dark chocolate M&Ms and Fritos.”
“Sounds like a slumber party!” Rayna said.
“Absolutely,” Sage deadpanned. “Look out, Ben-I do a mean French braid.”
Ben paid no attention. He had moved closer and was looking at me suspiciously, like a dog whose owner comes from after playing with someone else’s pet. I almost thought he was going to smell me.
“G’night,” he said. He had to brush past Sage to get to the door, but he didn’t say a word to him. Sage raised an amused eyebrow to me.
“Good night, ladies,” he said, then turned and followed Ben out. It hurt to see him go, like someone had run an ice cream scoop through my core, but I knew that was melodramatic. I’d see him in the morning. We had our whole lives to be together. Tonight he could spend with Ben.
I laughed out loud, imagining the two of them actually cheating, snacking, and French braiding each other’s hair as they sat cross-legged on the bed.
Then a pillow smacked me in the side of the head.
“’We can watch there and let you sleep’?” Rayna wailed. “Are you crazy?”
“I know! I’m sorry. I took it back, though, right?”
“You have two seconds to start talking, or I reload.”
Before now, if anyone had told me that I could have a night like tonight and not want to tell Rayna everything, I’d have thought they were crazy. But being with Sage was different. It felt perfectly round and complete. If I said anything about it, I felt like I’d be giving away a giant scoop of it that I couldn’t ever get back.
“It was really nice,” I said. “Thanks.”
Rayna picked up another pillow, then let it drop. She wasn’t happy, but she understood. She also knew I wasn’t thanking her just for asking, but for everything.
“Ready for bed?” she asked. “We have to eat the guys to breakfast so they don’t steal all the cinnamon rolls.”
I loved her like crazy.”
― Hilary Duff, quote from Elixir

“I deserve to be happy. I'm sad it took me so long to get that. But I get it now.”
― Susane Colasanti, quote from Keep Holding On

“Beatrix, do you know what happens to girls who ask such naughty questions?”
“They’re ravished in haylofts?” she inquired hopefully.”
― Lisa Kleypas, quote from Love in the Afternoon

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