Quotes from Married with Zombies

Jesse Petersen ·  253 pages

Rating: (5.8K votes)


“So you killed him with what now?"

"I tried that Dr. Phil book at first"..."And I finished it off with the toilet seat. Just so you know, you left it up again. That drives me crazy.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Just because she tried to eat us doesn't mean she was wrong”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Give each other a compliment every day. Even when the undead attack, its nice to feel pretty. Or badass.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Address one issue at a time.You can't load gasoline, pick up food, AND kill fifteen zombies at once”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Balance the world in your relationship. No one person should be responsible for killing ALL the Zombies.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies



“I stared at him. "David, that's prison movies, not zombie movie.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Find creative ways to have fun together. Looting is really underrated.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Never go to bed angry. Terrified is okay.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Support your partner in their interests. You never know when batting practice, kung fu movie moves, or even a poker night might come in handy during a zombie infestation.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Thank God for the second amendment.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies



“I went all kung fu on his zombie ass.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“I stopped as I thought of poor Jack on my bathroom floor, just another victim of Dr. Phil.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Make requests, not demands. "Please" kill that zombie, honey, I'm out of bullets.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Build mutual friendships. Just be ready to end them when your friends start trying to eat you.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“I should have known that having "end of the world" sex wouldn't solve our problems. Though, it was pretty great and I highly recommend it.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies



“Because I'm not really certain she'd make the best travel partner through a zombie-infested city, he hissed. She gets confused by Scrabble.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“You are your partner are on the same side - it's the side of the living.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Share in your activities and interests. If you are going to kill zombies anyway, why not do it together?”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Present a united front: YOU against the zombies.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Talk openly about important issues like money, sex, and religion. They can affect your life and happiness a great deal. Especially when it comes to cults.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies



“Show physical affection. Nothing says "I love you" like bearing the entirety of your spouse's weight.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Admit when you're wrong. It doesn't fix a busted leg, of course, but it's a nice gesture none-the-less.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Men are from Mars. Zombies are from Hell.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Um, didn’t Mythbusters once do an episode about how you couldn’t use sheets as a way out of prison?” I laughed. “I don’t remember if they busted it or not.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Have you ever wanted to smash a car? Or break a television? Or maybe burn a big fire in the middle of a city square? If the answer is yes, then you'd have some fun during a zombie infestation. It's the little moments, you know?”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies



About the author

Jesse Petersen
Born place: in The United States
See more on GoodReads

Popular quotes

“I don’t know what else I can tell you, other than that I can imagine spending the rest of my life with you. I know that sounds crazy. I know we’re just getting to know each other, and even admitting what I just did might make you think I’m nuts, but I’ve never been more sure about anything. And if you give me a chance – if you give us a chance – I’m going to live the rest of my life proving to you that you made the right decision. I love you. And not just for the person you are, but for the way you make me think that we can be.”
― Nicholas Sparks, quote from The Choice


“Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,”
― Edgar Allan Poe, quote from The Raven and Other Poems


“there were many ways to judge the acts of an institution, and the pragmatic way was not the worst, by any means.”
― James A. Michener, quote from Hawaii


“هناك أسوأ ممن هو أصم , وهو الذي لا يريد أن يسمع”
― Nikos Kazantzakis, quote from Zorba the Greek


“No-thing less splendid than a golden sepulchre would have suited so noble a heart.”
― Giovanni Boccaccio, quote from The Decameron


Interesting books

Streams of Silver
(30.5K)
Streams of Silver
by R.A. Salvatore
The Financier
(4K)
The Financier
by Theodore Dreiser
Johnno
(723)
Johnno
by David Malouf
Searching for Dragons
(38.1K)
Searching for Dragon...
by Patricia C. Wrede
The Prayer of Jabez:  Breaking Through to the Blessed Life
(61.8K)
The Prayer of Jabez:...
by Bruce H. Wilkinson
Summer in the City
(4.8K)
Summer in the City
by Elizabeth Chandler

About BookQuoters

BookQuoters is a community of passionate readers who enjoy sharing the most meaningful, memorable and interesting quotes from great books. As the world communicates more and more via texts, memes and sound bytes, short but profound quotes from books have become more relevant and important. For some of us a quote becomes a mantra, a goal or a philosophy by which we live. For all of us, quotes are a great way to remember a book and to carry with us the author’s best ideas.

We thoughtfully gather quotes from our favorite books, both classic and current, and choose the ones that are most thought-provoking. Each quote represents a book that is interesting, well written and has potential to enhance the reader’s life. We also accept submissions from our visitors and will select the quotes we feel are most appealing to the BookQuoters community.

Founded in 2023, BookQuoters has quickly become a large and vibrant community of people who share an affinity for books. Books are seen by some as a throwback to a previous world; conversely, gleaning the main ideas of a book via a quote or a quick summary is typical of the Information Age but is a habit disdained by some diehard readers. We feel that we have the best of both worlds at BookQuoters; we read books cover-to-cover but offer you some of the highlights. We hope you’ll join us.