Quotes from Married with Zombies

Jesse Petersen ·  253 pages

Rating: (5.8K votes)


“So you killed him with what now?"

"I tried that Dr. Phil book at first"..."And I finished it off with the toilet seat. Just so you know, you left it up again. That drives me crazy.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Just because she tried to eat us doesn't mean she was wrong”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Give each other a compliment every day. Even when the undead attack, its nice to feel pretty. Or badass.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Address one issue at a time.You can't load gasoline, pick up food, AND kill fifteen zombies at once”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Balance the world in your relationship. No one person should be responsible for killing ALL the Zombies.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies



“I stared at him. "David, that's prison movies, not zombie movie.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Find creative ways to have fun together. Looting is really underrated.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Never go to bed angry. Terrified is okay.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Support your partner in their interests. You never know when batting practice, kung fu movie moves, or even a poker night might come in handy during a zombie infestation.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Thank God for the second amendment.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies



“I went all kung fu on his zombie ass.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“I stopped as I thought of poor Jack on my bathroom floor, just another victim of Dr. Phil.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Make requests, not demands. "Please" kill that zombie, honey, I'm out of bullets.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Build mutual friendships. Just be ready to end them when your friends start trying to eat you.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“I should have known that having "end of the world" sex wouldn't solve our problems. Though, it was pretty great and I highly recommend it.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies



“Because I'm not really certain she'd make the best travel partner through a zombie-infested city, he hissed. She gets confused by Scrabble.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“You are your partner are on the same side - it's the side of the living.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Share in your activities and interests. If you are going to kill zombies anyway, why not do it together?”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Present a united front: YOU against the zombies.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Talk openly about important issues like money, sex, and religion. They can affect your life and happiness a great deal. Especially when it comes to cults.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies



“Show physical affection. Nothing says "I love you" like bearing the entirety of your spouse's weight.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Admit when you're wrong. It doesn't fix a busted leg, of course, but it's a nice gesture none-the-less.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Men are from Mars. Zombies are from Hell.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Um, didn’t Mythbusters once do an episode about how you couldn’t use sheets as a way out of prison?” I laughed. “I don’t remember if they busted it or not.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Have you ever wanted to smash a car? Or break a television? Or maybe burn a big fire in the middle of a city square? If the answer is yes, then you'd have some fun during a zombie infestation. It's the little moments, you know?”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies



About the author

Jesse Petersen
Born place: in The United States
See more on GoodReads

Popular quotes

“We’ll take the path to the right and ask the first person, plant, or animal we see.”
― Chris Colfer, quote from Beyond the Kingdoms


“You think because you face situations not of your making that you exercise no choice? That you are helpless? To the contrary, child. Your whole life has been full of choices. Hiding from a hard truth is a choice. Surrender - even to the inevitable - is a choice. Even in death there is a choice. You may have no control over the time or manner of your death, but you can choose how you face it.”
― C.L. Wilson, quote from Queen of Song and Souls


“What are you like inside? Don’t you have feelings where you love everyone, and at the same time you hate everyone? Or—don’t you have times when everything goes the way you want, but nothing feels good or right? That’s what I mean,” he’d say, “about my black horse and my white horse.”
― Frank Delaney, quote from Ireland


“Quick, I told myself. Try to remember what you learned from Jimbo's Self Defence for Young Ladies. Jimbo was a beefy man with prison tats.
"Go into the nearest dark alley," I recalled Jimbo saying. "Freeze like a rabbit or the creature you desire your attacker to mistake you for. If your attacker shouts out to you, respond politely - maybe your optimism will change his mind. If you're about to get into an elevator with a man you feel uncomfortable spending time with in a small, escapeless room, head right in. Remember , fear i an irrational emotion, you should probably ignore it."
Armed with these tips, I hung a right into the nearest dead-end, curled into a ball and started rolling.”
― quote from Nightlight: A Parody


“-Creo que debería acompañarlos-replicó Beau-. No estoy seguro de que sea una buena idea aún dejar a Haven sola contigo.
-Es un poco sobreprotector-le explicó Haven a Iain.
-Él siempre ha sido así-comentó Iain-. Yo no esperaría que cambie pronto.
-¿Cómo sabes que siempre he sido así?-preguntó Beau, molesto-. Tenemos media hora de conocernos.
-Tenemos al menos quinientos años de conocernos-lo corrigió Iain-. Tú eras hermano de ella cuando te conocí. En ese entonces también te llevó algo de tiempo aceptarme.”
― Kirsten Miller, quote from The Eternal Ones


Interesting books

The Year of the Death of Ricardo Reis
(5.5K)
The Year of the Deat...
by José Saramago
Rock Bottom
(19.3K)
Rock Bottom
by R.K. Lilley
Lovely Trigger
(19K)
Lovely Trigger
by R.K. Lilley
Dime Store Magic
(30.4K)
Dime Store Magic
by Kelley Armstrong
Dominic
(21.4K)
Dominic
by L.A. Casey
Liberty and Tyranny: A Conservative Manifesto
(6.6K)
Liberty and Tyranny:...
by Mark R. Levin

About BookQuoters

BookQuoters is a community of passionate readers who enjoy sharing the most meaningful, memorable and interesting quotes from great books. As the world communicates more and more via texts, memes and sound bytes, short but profound quotes from books have become more relevant and important. For some of us a quote becomes a mantra, a goal or a philosophy by which we live. For all of us, quotes are a great way to remember a book and to carry with us the author’s best ideas.

We thoughtfully gather quotes from our favorite books, both classic and current, and choose the ones that are most thought-provoking. Each quote represents a book that is interesting, well written and has potential to enhance the reader’s life. We also accept submissions from our visitors and will select the quotes we feel are most appealing to the BookQuoters community.

Founded in 2023, BookQuoters has quickly become a large and vibrant community of people who share an affinity for books. Books are seen by some as a throwback to a previous world; conversely, gleaning the main ideas of a book via a quote or a quick summary is typical of the Information Age but is a habit disdained by some diehard readers. We feel that we have the best of both worlds at BookQuoters; we read books cover-to-cover but offer you some of the highlights. We hope you’ll join us.