Quotes from Married with Zombies

Jesse Petersen ·  253 pages

Rating: (5.8K votes)


“So you killed him with what now?"

"I tried that Dr. Phil book at first"..."And I finished it off with the toilet seat. Just so you know, you left it up again. That drives me crazy.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Just because she tried to eat us doesn't mean she was wrong”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Give each other a compliment every day. Even when the undead attack, its nice to feel pretty. Or badass.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Address one issue at a time.You can't load gasoline, pick up food, AND kill fifteen zombies at once”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Balance the world in your relationship. No one person should be responsible for killing ALL the Zombies.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies



“I stared at him. "David, that's prison movies, not zombie movie.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Find creative ways to have fun together. Looting is really underrated.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Never go to bed angry. Terrified is okay.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Support your partner in their interests. You never know when batting practice, kung fu movie moves, or even a poker night might come in handy during a zombie infestation.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Thank God for the second amendment.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies



“I went all kung fu on his zombie ass.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“I stopped as I thought of poor Jack on my bathroom floor, just another victim of Dr. Phil.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Make requests, not demands. "Please" kill that zombie, honey, I'm out of bullets.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Build mutual friendships. Just be ready to end them when your friends start trying to eat you.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“I should have known that having "end of the world" sex wouldn't solve our problems. Though, it was pretty great and I highly recommend it.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies



“Because I'm not really certain she'd make the best travel partner through a zombie-infested city, he hissed. She gets confused by Scrabble.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“You are your partner are on the same side - it's the side of the living.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Share in your activities and interests. If you are going to kill zombies anyway, why not do it together?”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Present a united front: YOU against the zombies.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Talk openly about important issues like money, sex, and religion. They can affect your life and happiness a great deal. Especially when it comes to cults.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies



“Show physical affection. Nothing says "I love you" like bearing the entirety of your spouse's weight.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Admit when you're wrong. It doesn't fix a busted leg, of course, but it's a nice gesture none-the-less.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Men are from Mars. Zombies are from Hell.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Um, didn’t Mythbusters once do an episode about how you couldn’t use sheets as a way out of prison?” I laughed. “I don’t remember if they busted it or not.”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies


“Have you ever wanted to smash a car? Or break a television? Or maybe burn a big fire in the middle of a city square? If the answer is yes, then you'd have some fun during a zombie infestation. It's the little moments, you know?”
― Jesse Petersen, quote from Married with Zombies



About the author

Jesse Petersen
Born place: in The United States
See more on GoodReads

Popular quotes

“My thoughts are all over the place as I fall asleep, and images of clouded roses and angry green eyes flow through my dreams.”
― Anna Todd, quote from After


“You're a sinister little shit, aren't you?" Victra asks.
"I'm Gold, bitch. What'd you expect? Warm milk and cookies just because I'm pocket sized?”
― Pierce Brown, quote from Golden Son


“I believe that half the trouble in the world comes from people asking 'What have I achieved?' rather than 'What have I enjoyed?' I've been writing about a subject I love as long as I can remember--horses and the people associated with them, anyplace, anywhere, anytime. I couldn't be happier knowing that young people are reading my books. But even more important to me is that I've enjoyed so much the writing of them.”
― Walter Farley, quote from The Black Stallion


“We had the stars, you and I. And this is given once only.”
― André Aciman, quote from Call Me by Your Name


“Did you pick out this outfit?" he asked, looking at her clothes.
"No," she said. She was wearing a cheap, bright red dress that she'd been given by another girl from the bar who shared the same apartment. "Someone gave it to me."
"I thought so," said Satake. "It doesn't suit you."
Then buy me on that does!--that was the sort of thing she would learn to say only later. That night she had just smiled vaguely to cover her embarrassment.”
― Natsuo Kirino, quote from Out


Interesting books

Einstein: His Life and Universe
(83.4K)
Einstein: His Life a...
by Walter Isaacson
Flat-Out Love
(53.6K)
Flat-Out Love
by Jessica Park
UnEnchanted
(37.3K)
UnEnchanted
by Chanda Hahn
The Black Echo
(122K)
The Black Echo
by Michael Connelly
The Lost World
(98.4K)
The Lost World
by Michael Crichton
Ghost Town
(34.1K)
Ghost Town
by Rachel Caine

About BookQuoters

BookQuoters is a community of passionate readers who enjoy sharing the most meaningful, memorable and interesting quotes from great books. As the world communicates more and more via texts, memes and sound bytes, short but profound quotes from books have become more relevant and important. For some of us a quote becomes a mantra, a goal or a philosophy by which we live. For all of us, quotes are a great way to remember a book and to carry with us the author’s best ideas.

We thoughtfully gather quotes from our favorite books, both classic and current, and choose the ones that are most thought-provoking. Each quote represents a book that is interesting, well written and has potential to enhance the reader’s life. We also accept submissions from our visitors and will select the quotes we feel are most appealing to the BookQuoters community.

Founded in 2023, BookQuoters has quickly become a large and vibrant community of people who share an affinity for books. Books are seen by some as a throwback to a previous world; conversely, gleaning the main ideas of a book via a quote or a quick summary is typical of the Information Age but is a habit disdained by some diehard readers. We feel that we have the best of both worlds at BookQuoters; we read books cover-to-cover but offer you some of the highlights. We hope you’ll join us.