“So you killed him with what now?"
"I tried that Dr. Phil book at first"..."And I finished it off with the toilet seat. Just so you know, you left it up again. That drives me crazy.”
“Just because she tried to eat us doesn't mean she was wrong”
“Give each other a compliment every day. Even when the undead attack, its nice to feel pretty. Or badass.”
“Address one issue at a time.You can't load gasoline, pick up food, AND kill fifteen zombies at once”
“Balance the world in your relationship. No one person should be responsible for killing ALL the Zombies.”
“I stared at him. "David, that's prison movies, not zombie movie.”
“Find creative ways to have fun together. Looting is really underrated.”
“Never go to bed angry. Terrified is okay.”
“Support your partner in their interests. You never know when batting practice, kung fu movie moves, or even a poker night might come in handy during a zombie infestation.”
“Thank God for the second amendment.”
“I went all kung fu on his zombie ass.”
“I stopped as I thought of poor Jack on my bathroom floor, just another victim of Dr. Phil.”
“Make requests, not demands. "Please" kill that zombie, honey, I'm out of bullets.”
“Build mutual friendships. Just be ready to end them when your friends start trying to eat you.”
“I should have known that having "end of the world" sex wouldn't solve our problems. Though, it was pretty great and I highly recommend it.”
“Because I'm not really certain she'd make the best travel partner through a zombie-infested city, he hissed. She gets confused by Scrabble.”
“You are your partner are on the same side - it's the side of the living.”
“Share in your activities and interests. If you are going to kill zombies anyway, why not do it together?”
“Present a united front: YOU against the zombies.”
“Talk openly about important issues like money, sex, and religion. They can affect your life and happiness a great deal. Especially when it comes to cults.”
“Show physical affection. Nothing says "I love you" like bearing the entirety of your spouse's weight.”
“Admit when you're wrong. It doesn't fix a busted leg, of course, but it's a nice gesture none-the-less.”
“Men are from Mars. Zombies are from Hell.”
“Um, didn’t Mythbusters once do an episode about how you couldn’t use sheets as a way out of prison?” I laughed. “I don’t remember if they busted it or not.”
“Have you ever wanted to smash a car? Or break a television? Or maybe burn a big fire in the middle of a city square? If the answer is yes, then you'd have some fun during a zombie infestation. It's the little moments, you know?”
“WITCHES TAKE THEIR NAMES FROM PLACES, for places are what give them their strength. The place need not be beautiful, or habitable, or even green. Sand and salt, so much the better. Scrub pine, plumberry, and brambles, better still. From every bitter thing, after all, something hardy will surely grow. From every difficulty, the seed that’s sewn is that much stronger. Ruin is the milk all witches must drink; it’s the lesson they learn and the diet they’re fed upon.”
“Events are not determined by the wheel of fortune, which is blind, but by the wheels of Providence, which are full of eyes”
“Feelings, who needs them? Sometimes they're like a gift, when you feel love or happiness. Sometimes they're a curse.”
“The last thing I want to tell you is this: in a real revolution—not a simple dynastic change or a mere reform of institutions—in a real revolution the best characters do not come to the front. A violent revolution falls into the hands of narrow-minded fanatics and of tyrannical hypocrites at first. Afterwards comes the turn of all the pretentious intellectual failures of the time. Such are the chiefs and the leaders. You will notice that I have left out the mere rogues. The scrupulous and the just, the noble, humane, and devoted natures; the unselfish and the intelligent may begin a movement—but it passes away from them. They are not the leaders of a revolution. They are its victims: the victims of disgust, of disenchantment—often of remorse. Hopes grotesquely betrayed, ideals caricatured—that is the definition of revolutionary success. There have been in every revolution hearts broken by such successes. But enough of that. My meaning is that I don’t want you to be a victim.”
“What's the use of the wind if it won't take you away on it?”
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