Married with Zombies

So you killed him with what now?" "I tried that Dr. Phil book at first"..."And I finished it off with the toilet seat. Just so you know, you left it up again. That drives me crazy.

Just because she tried to eat us doesn't mean she was wrong

Give each other a compliment every day. Even when the undead attack, its nice to feel pretty. Or badass.

Address one issue at a time.You can't load gasoline, pick up food, AND kill fifteen zombies at once

Balance the world in your relationship. No one person should be responsible for killing ALL the Zombies.

I stared at him. "David, that's prison movies, not zombie movie.

Find creative ways to have fun together. Looting is really underrated.

Never go to bed angry. Terrified is okay.

Support your partner in their interests. You never know when batting practice, kung fu movie moves, or even a poker night might come in handy during a zombie infestation.

Thank God for the second amendment.

I went all kung fu on his zombie ass.

I stopped as I thought of poor Jack on my bathroom floor, just another victim of Dr. Phil.

Make requests, not demands. "Please" kill that zombie, honey, I'm out of bullets.

Build mutual friendships. Just be ready to end them when your friends start trying to eat you.

I should have known that having "end of the world" sex wouldn't solve our problems. Though, it was pretty great and I highly recommend it.

Because I'm not really certain she'd make the best travel partner through a zombie-infested city, he hissed. She gets confused by Scrabble.

You are your partner are on the same side - it's the side of the living.

Share in your activities and interests. If you are going to kill zombies anyway, why not do it together?

Present a united front: YOU against the zombies.

Talk openly about important issues like money, sex, and religion. They can affect your life and happiness a great deal. Especially when it comes to cults.

Show physical affection. Nothing says "I love you" like bearing the entirety of your spouse's weight.

Admit when you're wrong. It doesn't fix a busted leg, of course, but it's a nice gesture none-the-less.

Men are from Mars. Zombies are from Hell.

Um, didn’t Mythbusters once do an episode about how you couldn’t use sheets as a way out of prison?” I laughed. “I don’t remember if they busted it or not.

Have you ever wanted to smash a car? Or break a television? Or maybe burn a big fire in the middle of a city square? If the answer is yes, then you'd have some fun during a zombie infestation. It's the little moments, you know?