Half-Off Ragnarok

(Australia. The only continent designed with a difficulty rating of “ha ha fuck you no.”)

ALL GLORY TO THE SCIENCE RULES OF SCIENCE!

Being smart isn't good enough. You need to be educated, and you need to be open-minded, and you need to remember that what you don't know can most definitely hurt you.

Rules only matter if everyone understands them, agrees to them, and can be trusted not to break them. Bearing these irrefutable facts in mind, rules never matter at all.

Lindworms are a sign of a healthy ecosystem,” I said, straightening. “Now let’s get out of here before the healthy ecosystem eats us.

If you find something you truly love, stick with it. There's nothing else in this world that will make you half as happy. There's nothing else that will make you half as miserable, either, but you can't have one without the other.

Expectations are dangerous things. They've probably killed more people than any creature or cryptid you care to name.

I told them you almost certainly were not a serial killer, and that they were being horribly sexist by assuming that of the two of us, only you were capable of committing murder. That may have been a tactical error—it got me rather a lot more questioning that I hadn’t exactly been planning on.” “Well, yes. It’s usually unwise to tell the police you could be a serial killer if you really, really wanted to.

Try your best. That's always been good enough for the people who love you.

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. It's much easier to be brave when you don't believe that the monster under your bed is real.

If you didn’t think I knew what I know, why are you telling me what you think I didn’t know but might have come here looking to find out?” Shelby paused. “I’m sorry. I’m not sure even I understand what I just said.

Hell hath no fury like a centuries-old organisation of zealots scorned.

Love doesn't care what you want. Love doesn't care if it's convenient. Love pursues its own agenda, and there's no bullet in the world that can take it down. More's the pity.

Once upon a time there was a little boy who lived with monsters, and the monsters swore that they would never hurt him, because even monsters dream of living happily ever after.

Alex would make a terrible Martian,” said Sarah. “He doesn’t have a giant laser and he’s not planning an Earth-shattering kaboom.

Yes, that’s a brilliant idea. Choose the career path most likely to lead to an early, painful death, and you’re sure to find job satisfaction.

Grandma married him because he was the first man she’d ever met who wasn’t affected by her telepathy. This is the sort of thing that Internet dating sites never have a field for.

It was easier than I expected, maybe because I was too angry and too afraid to really pay attention to what I was doing. Things are always easy when you refuse to let yourself remember how dangerous they are.

At least that would be a new disgusting swamp experience, instead of a disgusting swamp experience I'd already had several times that day.

Playing fair is for people who don’t mind playing to lose.

I’m going to kill you.” “You look fine.” “I’m quite serious. I’m going to murder you. I’m going to murder you to death. And then, after I’ve finished doing that, I’m going to kill you again, just to be sure you got the point.” “Shelby, honestly, you look fine.