Rachel Renée Russell · 368 pages
Rating: (14.9K votes)
“felt SO insanely happy I could just . . . VOMIT sunshine, rainbows, confetti, glitter and . . . um . . . those yummy little Skittles thingies!”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 6: Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker
“Miss Bri-Bri has designed a gazillion booty-ful dresses for very famous and important people, like Princess Sugar Plum, Selena Gomez, Beyoncé, and Mrs. Claus! And”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 6: Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker
“HIDEOUS! Sorry, Mom, but vomit green is NOT my colour. And that dress is impossible to walk in! It’s so tight around my legs that it looks like a giant fish tail. While the other bridesmaids walked gracefully to the “Wedding March” song, I flopped my way down the aisle like a human-sized catfish or something! Those rug burns were pure agony! It was getting late and I was running out of time! The last thing I wanted to do was to traumatise Brandon by showing up at the dance looking like a MUTANT FISH GIRL or something. Right now I’m SO frustrated that I’m seriously considering just NOT going to the dance. Why is my life so hopelessly CRUDDY?!”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 6: Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker
“WHAAAT?! No way! Brandon, You said you couldn’t go”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 6: Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker
“So Brandon, would you like to take... A POP QUIZ??!!”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 6: Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker
“FROM BRANDON: Hi Nikki, Looking forward 2 going 2 the dance with you. Good luck finding a dress that will actually make you look beautiful! 7:39 p.m.”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 6: Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker
“What was zat, Miss Penelope?” she asked. “You are on zee phone with Dora zee Explorer and Boots zee Monkey? You say Boots needs new boots? Very well, dah-ling! Pencil him in before my six o’clock appointment with SpongeBob!”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 6: Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker
“WHY in the world would MacKenzie ask ME to vote for HER for Sweetheart Princess when it’s so obvious that she HATES my guts?!”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 6: Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker
“This morning I had these fluttery butterflies in my stomach that were making me feel SUPERnauseous”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 6: Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker
“Kincaid after class, she told me I was in bio, not ART class. Then she”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 6: Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker
“But of course I said all of that inside my head so no one else heard it but me.”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 6: Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker
Rachel Renée Russell
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“I should have said something. ... But my mouth wouldn't open, and the longer I stood there in silence, the better I can to understand the problem. It wasn't that I had nothing to say to him. It was that I had too much to say.”
― Rachel Vincent, quote from My Soul to Take
“I'm going to be so normal that when people look up normal in the dictionary, my name will be there.”
― Wendy Mass, quote from A Mango-Shaped Space
“Everyone we've lost, we'll find. Or they'll find us.”
― Jennifer Egan, quote from A Visit from the Goon Squad
“It can play solitaire and minesweeper,” replied Artemis innocently.”
― Eoin Colfer, quote from The Lost Colony
“I circled the site before I came in. If there's anyone within five kilometers, I'll eat my quiver."
Halt regarded him, eyebrow arched once more. "Anyone?"
"Anyone other than Crowley," Will amended, making a dismissive gesture. "I saw him watching me from that hide he always uses about two kilometers out. I assumed he'd be back in here by now."
Halt cleared his throat loudly. "Oh, you saw him, did you?" he said. "I imagine he'll be overjoyed to hear that." Secretly, he was pleased with his former pupil. In spite of his curiosity and obvious excitement, he hadn't forgotten to take the precautions that had been drilled into him. THat augured well for what lay ahead, Halt thought, a sudden grimness settling onto his manner.
Will didn't notice the momentary change of mood. He was loosening Tug
saddle girth. As he spoke, his voice was muffled against the horses's flank. "he's becoming too much a creature of habit," he said. "he's used that hide for the last three Gatherings. It's time he tried something new. Everyone must be onto it by now."
Rangers constantly competed with each other to see before being seen and each year's Gathering was a time of heightened competition. Halt nodded thoughtfully. Crowley had constructed teh virtually invisible observation post some four years previously. Alone among the younger Rangers, Will had tumbled to it after one year. Halt had never mentioned to him that he was the only one who knew of Crowley's hide. The concealed post was the Ranger Commandant's pride and joy.
"Well, perhaps not everyone," he said. Will emerged from behind his horse, grinning at the thought of the head of the Ranger Corps thinking he had remained hidden from sight as he watched Will's approach.
"All the same, perhaps he's getting a bit long in the tooth to be skulking around hiding in the bushes, don't you think?" he said cheerfully. Halt considered the question for a moment.
"Long in the tooth? Well, that's one opinion. Mind you, his silent movement skills are still as good as ever," he said meaningfully.
The grin on Will's face slowly faded. He resisted the temptation to look over his shoulder.
"He's standing behind me, isn't he?" he asked Halt. THe older Ranger nodded.
"He's standing behind me, isn't he?" Will continued and Halt nodded once more.
"Is he...close enough to have heard what I said?" Will finally managed to ask, fearin teh worst. This time, Halt didn't have to answer.
"Oh, good grief no," came a familiar voice from behind him. "he's so old and decrepit these days he's as deaf as a post."
Will's shoulders sagged and he turned to see the sandy-haired Commandant standing a few meters away.
The younger man's eyes dropped.
"Hullo, Crowley," he said, then mumbled, "Ahhh...I'm sorry about that."
Crowley glared at teh young Ranger for a few more seconds, then he couldn't help teh grin breaking out on his face.
"No harm done," he said, adding with a small note of triumph, "It's not often these days I amange to get the better of one of you young ones."
Secretly, he was impressed at teh news that Will had spotted his hiding place. Only the sarpest eyes could have picked it. Crowley had been in the business of seeing without being seen for thirty years or more, and despite what Will believed, he was still an absolute master of camouflage and unseen movement.”
― John Flanagan, quote from The Sorcerer in the North
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