Rachel Renée Russell · 368 pages
Rating: (17.9K votes)
“Book five of Dork Diaries is one of my favorite books it brings my thoughts deep into the book and think if you haven't read it you should you will probably fell just as I fell.”
“about but a business deal?” “I—I don’t have the slightest idea!” I stammered. That’s when I looked deep into my father’s eyes and desperately pleaded with him: “DAD! PLEASE! DON’T GO TO THAT MEETING!”
“Mr. Biz! The shrewd and savage business shark,”
“Well, it’s not MY fault you’re such an AIRHEAD that if you open your mouth I can hear the ocean!” I shot back.”
“DAD, MAX THE ROACH, AND OUR RAGGEDY OLD VAN WERE BACK WHERE THEY BELONGED!”
“I barely got any sleep last night. I just lay there, wide awake, trying to figure out how to stop MacKenzie.”
“The BAD news is that I know nothing whatsoever about writing for a school newspaper. Except for maybe THREE things: 1. It has writing, and I’m seriously addicted to writing in my diary. 2. It has comic strips and cartoons, and I’m seriously addicted to drawing. 3. It has my crush, Brandon, and I’m seriously addicted to him.”
“ME, GETTING SUPEREMOTIONAL DURING OUR DEEP KNEE BENDS”
“I decided to channel my inner “smart reporter” so I would feel more confident. A pencil behind the ear for emergency notes and flair? Check. Shimmery Savvy Girl lip gloss? Check. Spearmint-fresh breath for interviews? Check. Notepad for capturing my brilliant thoughts (and awesome doodles)? Check. Intellectual-looking and slightly uncomfortable pumps? Check. I was trying my hardest to be a sassy, journalistic girl genius and NOT the slightly illiterate writer I felt like inside.”
“Well, today is your lucky day because I’m going to let you in on a little secret. You’re about to experience firsthand how the real world of journalism operates.” We all leaned forward in our seats, straining to hear the pearls of wisdom Zimmerman was about to bestow upon us. “Listen carefully, boys and girls, because I’m only going to say this once . . . . ”
“cardboard toilet paper rolls strewn across the”
“MY fault if those snobby little drama queens RUINED”
“Brandon’s birthday party is on Friday, January 31, and I can hardly wait!”
“Then she slammed her locker shut and sashayed away. I just HATE it when MacKenzie sashays.”
“Hey, we were vandals, but we WEREN’T litterbugs!”
“I knew Chloe LOVED to read, but I was in the middle of a MAJOR life crisis! For once, couldn’t she just try focusing on ME instead of her stupid book characters?! Then”
“And while we worked, we had a serious chat. BRANDON”
“It made hot girls forget you were a dork, which is the point of all music.”
“But I am not that eloquent, so I shut my mouth and smile.”
“Auburn-Stache. Am I selfish?"
"I've never met a soul that wasn't. I've met a lot of people who don't bother wondering.”
“If things happen for a reason, I was meant to get fucked over.”
“People don’t expect a small Japanese girl to be able to break a man’s arm.
“They didn’t assume you were a ninja?”
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