Rachel Renée Russell · 288 pages
Rating: (31.3K votes)
“STAY HOME FROM SCHOOL FAUX VOMIT:
1 cup of cooked oatmeal
1.2 cup of sour cream (or buttermilk ranch dressing or anything that smells like rancid, sour milk)
2 chopped cheese sticks (for chunkiness)
1 uncooked egg (for authentic slimy texture)
1 can of split pea soup (for putrid green color)
1/4 cup of raisins (to increase gross-osity)
Mix ingredients and simmer over low heat for 2 minutes
Let mixture cool to warm vomit temperature
Use liberally as needed
Makes 4 to 5 cups”
“You're such a big BABY. So cry me a river, build yourself a bridge, and GET OVER IT”
“BTW, the roach's name is Max (courtesy of Brianna, "because of I had a puppy, I'd name him Max").”
“idea the situation was so bad until I asked each committee member to present a status report at our meeting this morning.”
“While most students in our city would be attending their”
“And if you decide to cancel it, make sure you notify Principal Winston and the student council. Although, I wouldn’t want to be the one to disappoint the entire school”
“EMBARRASSED!! I knew right then and there I had pretty much”
“You’re such a big BABY. So cry me a river, build yourself a bridge and GET OVER IT!”
“Shake your groove thing, shake your groove thing, yeah, yeah,” and then you just repeat those words 1,962 times until the song is over.”
“Then FINALLY he brushed his shaggy bangs out of his eyes and smiled”
“Love is the bridge that spans the world above and below, and keeps the wheel of life turning.”
“I guess that makes sense. And by the way—your friends?” Amy glanced over her shoulder to take another peek at them. “Are they in a contest to see who can be the most gorgeous or something?”
Sophie had to laugh. “They might be.”
“It’s ridiculous,” Amy told her. “Especially Fitz’s family. I mean, seriously, who looks like that?”
“Only the Vackers,” Sophie assured her.”
“It's a corporate truth universally acknowledged that workers would rather eat rat skeletons than participate in group activities.”
“There are laws in place that stop us from doing things. This is what we tell ourselves. In truth we stop ourselves; the law is a guideline for how to punish someone who is caught.”
“the paradox of Man was the fact that one might have been made in the image of God, yet it was often the most devilish of ideas that gave action and purpose to the human breed. He”
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