“We're seriously going to drive to Jersey with a bird wearing a bra in the backseat?”
“He's not a pet. He's an accident victim.”
“The future is always bright; it isn't until you get there that you realize it isn't.”
“I'll never leave if you keep feeding me bacon every day," Peter says to Aunt Beth.”
“No, I was just trying to burn a hole in the side of your face with my laser vision. It didn't work.”
“I lost you, but you're sitting right next to me!”
“When you said you were giving her a ring, I wanted to make sure she didn't eat it by accident. Who puts a ring in a muffin?”
“What kind of married couple uses a pole on their wedding night?”
“What are you thinking in that beautiful head of yours?”
“When you find the right person, yeah—this is what it feels like." He takes a deep breath, trying to steady himself before taking my hand and placing it over his heart. It's beating fast and hard. "Do you feel that? We haven't done anything yet and that's how I react to you.”
“Our eyes meet and the rest of the world melts away.”
“La-di-dah, just out for a little spin, don't mind me.”
“To describe heaven it is not necessary to transport the materials of earth there. One must leave earth & its materials where they are, so as to beautify life with its ideal. To address Elohim familiarly is an unseemly buffoonery. The best way of showing him gratitude is not by yelling in his ears that he is mighty, that he created the world, that we are wormlets compared to his greatness. He knows it better than we. Men may excuse themselves of informing him of that. The best way of showing him gratitude is to console humanity, to restore all to it, take it by the hand & treat it like a brother. This is more genuine.”
“Ain't no way to change the world for the better if you can't stand up for what's right when everyone else is wrong.”
“And do you think your refusal to believe will convince God to change his nature? He is who he is no matter what you think of him. Despite what Americans believe, the universe is not a democracy. Truth is not determined by the majority. As for hell, if you were as just and holy as God is, you would understand that all men deserve hell. It is no puzzle that men should go to hell. What is a puzzle is that men should go to heaven.”
“Agatha surprised them both when she groused, "As for you, Grace, you'll return as well."
Grace blinked. "But..."
"No buts!" Agatha glanced from Noah to Grace. "I'll give you plenty of time off to continue this courtship with my grandson. But for the time being, I need you, so you will be there for me."
With the shoe on the other foot, Grace scowled. Knowing how she felt, Noah squeezed her hand, and Grace finally muttered, "All right."
Ben was chuckling at their predicaments when Agatha turned to him. He gulped.
"And you," she said, and she now sounded as demonic as she looked. "You're my damn grandson."
Wearing a facade of disregard, Ben cocked a brow. "Which makes you my damn grandmother?"
"Exactly." Looking satisfied, Agatha suddenly smiled. "I like all this cursing. It's sort of fun."
Ben sputtered, and Agatha added, "Oh, hell, you're too old to get tongue-tied, Ben, so knock it off."
Ben stared up at the heavens and pretended to pray.”
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