Quotes from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“I'm convinced that responsibility is some kind of psychological disease.”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“Now you may have gotten the impression that there are absolutely no uses for Librarians. I'm sorry if I implied that. Librarians are very useful. For instance, they are useful if you are fishing for sharks and need some bait. They're also useful for throwing out windows to test the effects of concrete impact on horn-rimmed glasses. If you have enough Librarians, you can build bridges out of them. (Just like witches.)
And, unfortunately, they are also useful for organizing things.”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“Entropy shakes its angry fist at you for being clever enough to organize the world. (p 2)”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“You want to be a better person? Go listen to someone you disagree with. don't argue with them just listen. It's remarkable what interesting things people will say if you take the time to not be a jerk.”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“It's actually a rather romantic and dramatic story --- one I would eagerly tell you, except for the fact that I recently forgot it, based on it being far too long and having not enough decapitations.”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“I don't want to make people mad. I just... well, how can people get better if you don't tell them what you honestly think?”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“Somebody tell me that I should just go speak to the kings again."
"uh," Sing said, "didn't I just do that?"
"I need to her it again, Sing," Grandpa Smedry said. "I'm old and stubborn!”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“The most important truths can always withstand a little examination.”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“That's Australia. She's not dim-witted, she just has trouble remembering to be smart.”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“Behold!" I bellowed. "'Tis a foul beast of the nether-hells. Stand behind me and I shall slay it!"
"Oh, Alcatraz," Bastille breathed. "Thou art awesomish and manlyish.”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“She fell because she was looking through the library’s nonfriction section.) We”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“(It should be noted that the Honorable Guild of Evil Warlords has worked very hard to counter the negative stereotype of its members. After several dozen bake sales and charity auctions, someone suggested that they remove the word evil from the title of their organization. The suggestion was eventually rejected on account of Gurstak the Ruthless having just ordered a full box of embossed business cards.) The”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“People are people. Wherever they come from or whatever they look like, they’re the same. As the philosopher Garnglegoot the Confused once said: “I’ll have a banana and crayon sandwich, please.” (Garnglegoot always did have trouble staying on topic.)”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“The people on the steps chose to scream like a bunch of people on some steps, but they did get out of the way. Grandpa”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“a chin that could destroy small countries if it fell into the wrong hands.”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“Unfortunately, I know that some of you Hushlanders have trouble counting to three. (The Librarian- controlled schools don't want you to be able to manage complex mathematics.) So I've prepared this helpful guide.

Definition of "book one": The best place to start a series. You can identify "book one" by the fact that it has a little "1" on the spine. Smedrys do a happy dance when you read book one first. Entropy shakes its angry fist at you for being clever enough to organize the world.

Definition of "book two": The book you read after book one. If you start with book two, I will make fun of you. (Okay, so I'll make fun of you either way. But honestly, do you want to give me more ammunition?)

Definition of "book three": The worst place, currently, to start a series. If you start here, I will throw things at you.

Definition of "book four": And . . . how'd you manage to start with that one? I haven't even written it yet. (You sneaky time travelers.)”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“Everybody evaluates. We critics are just trained to talk about it.”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“In Nalhalla, everything has castle towers. Even the outhouses. (You know, in case someone tries to seize the throne.)”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

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“Earth’s not so bad—” “How would you know?” Tan’elKoth said acidly. “It is only in these past few days that you have had contact with the actual realities of Earth. Are you having fun?” He waved toward the window, where Kollberg now had one hand openly kneading his groin while he leaned one cheek and the side of his open mouth against the glass. Avery flinched and looked away. She hugged herself more tightly. “I don’t understand. If you hate what they’re going to do, why are you helping them?” “I am not helping them!” Suddenly he was on his feet, towering over her, shaking an enormous fist. “I am helping you. I am helping Faith. I am . . .” The passion drained out of him as swiftly as it had arisen. He let his fist open and fall limp against his thigh. “I am trying to go home.” Outside the window, Kollberg panted like an overheated dog. “Well,” Avery said finally. “I’m afraid you’re out of luck.” “How do you mean?” She shook her head. “You’re such a man, Professional. That’s why you can’t find this link of yours.” “I do not understand.” “Of course you don’t. That’s what I mean: You’re a man. You think this link is with the river. It wasn’t. Faith spoke of it, in the car on our way back to Boston when I first picked her up. She was quite clear about it. Her link was never with the river. It was with her mother.” “Her mother—?” “Her dead mother, now.” Tan’elKoth’s eyes narrowed. “I have been a fool,” he said. He spun and seated himself once again at Faith’s side, bending over her with redoubled energy. “Power,” he murmured. “All that is required is a usable source of power—” “What are you doing? She’s dead, Tan’elKoth. There is no link.” “Dead, yes—but the pattern of her consciousness persists, even as your son’s does within me. It was trapped at the instant of her passing. It is powerless, yes—having no body to inform it with will. It is analogous to a computer program stored on disk, you might say: a structure of information that requires only a computer on which to run, and the necessary power to activate.” “What kind of power?” From the doorway behind her, the soulless rasp of Arturo Kollberg said, “My kind of power.” DURING HIS YEARS of walking the world, the crooked knight came to find himself bemazed within a dark and trackless wood. In this wood, all paths led equally to death. The crooked knight did not lose hope; he turned to various guides for help and direction. His first guide was Youthful Dream. Later, he turned to Friendship, then Duty, and finally Reason, but each left him more lost than had the one before. So the crooked knight gave himself up for dead, and simply sat. He would be sitting there still, but for a breeze that came upon him then: a breeze that smelled of wide-open spaces, of limitless skies and bright sun, of ice and high mountains. It was the wind from the dark angel’s wings.”
― Matthew Woodring Stover, quote from Blade of Tyshalle

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