Brandon Sanderson · 299 pages
Rating: (6.9K votes)
“I'm convinced that responsibility is some kind of psychological disease.”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia
“Now you may have gotten the impression that there are absolutely no uses for Librarians. I'm sorry if I implied that. Librarians are very useful. For instance, they are useful if you are fishing for sharks and need some bait. They're also useful for throwing out windows to test the effects of concrete impact on horn-rimmed glasses. If you have enough Librarians, you can build bridges out of them. (Just like witches.)
And, unfortunately, they are also useful for organizing things.”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia
“Entropy shakes its angry fist at you for being clever enough to organize the world. (p 2)”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia
“You want to be a better person? Go listen to someone you disagree with. don't argue with them just listen. It's remarkable what interesting things people will say if you take the time to not be a jerk.”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia
“It's actually a rather romantic and dramatic story --- one I would eagerly tell you, except for the fact that I recently forgot it, based on it being far too long and having not enough decapitations.”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia
“I don't want to make people mad. I just... well, how can people get better if you don't tell them what you honestly think?”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia
“Somebody tell me that I should just go speak to the kings again."
"uh," Sing said, "didn't I just do that?"
"I need to her it again, Sing," Grandpa Smedry said. "I'm old and stubborn!”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia
“The most important truths can always withstand a little examination.”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia
“That's Australia. She's not dim-witted, she just has trouble remembering to be smart.”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia
“Behold!" I bellowed. "'Tis a foul beast of the nether-hells. Stand behind me and I shall slay it!"
"Oh, Alcatraz," Bastille breathed. "Thou art awesomish and manlyish.”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia
“She fell because she was looking through the library’s nonfriction section.) We”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia
“(It should be noted that the Honorable Guild of Evil Warlords has worked very hard to counter the negative stereotype of its members. After several dozen bake sales and charity auctions, someone suggested that they remove the word evil from the title of their organization. The suggestion was eventually rejected on account of Gurstak the Ruthless having just ordered a full box of embossed business cards.) The”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia
“People are people. Wherever they come from or whatever they look like, they’re the same. As the philosopher Garnglegoot the Confused once said: “I’ll have a banana and crayon sandwich, please.” (Garnglegoot always did have trouble staying on topic.)”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia
“The people on the steps chose to scream like a bunch of people on some steps, but they did get out of the way. Grandpa”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia
“a chin that could destroy small countries if it fell into the wrong hands.”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia
“Unfortunately, I know that some of you Hushlanders have trouble counting to three. (The Librarian- controlled schools don't want you to be able to manage complex mathematics.) So I've prepared this helpful guide.
Definition of "book one": The best place to start a series. You can identify "book one" by the fact that it has a little "1" on the spine. Smedrys do a happy dance when you read book one first. Entropy shakes its angry fist at you for being clever enough to organize the world.
Definition of "book two": The book you read after book one. If you start with book two, I will make fun of you. (Okay, so I'll make fun of you either way. But honestly, do you want to give me more ammunition?)
Definition of "book three": The worst place, currently, to start a series. If you start here, I will throw things at you.
Definition of "book four": And . . . how'd you manage to start with that one? I haven't even written it yet. (You sneaky time travelers.)”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia
“Everybody evaluates. We critics are just trained to talk about it.”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia
“In Nalhalla, everything has castle towers. Even the outhouses. (You know, in case someone tries to seize the throne.)”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia
“Myles P. doesn’t resist, he sinks down and down, letting the sound of Willard’s lisp close over him light as a foaming wave and he drifts gently down, without a gurgle, past the floating beds of giant kelp and the abalone-eating otters, the unschooled senoritas and egg-filled cabezon, he thinks he might touch his toes to the bottom when he gets there and wonders if it will be mud or just more cement.
'Meaning other animals, shoot, soon as the young’s able to hunt or run, mother takes off and dad’s eyeing the offsprung for dinner. But we can’t let ours be, colic to college, we’re constantly wiping their little booger’d noses, dolling out free dough and freer advice, thinking they’ll powder our own asses later in the home. But a baby’s just a for-instance, fact is, others never tender the way you do. Species’d peter, rent’d come due.' Willard goes to Hiro, 'The punchline, my friend, is giving without wanting’s the trick once you’ve managed that, you’ve partly pierced heaven a bunghole, but it’s a pure penniless instigation that you ain’t got ‘n ain’t gonna get got, ‘n ain’t gonna get it, not on no roadfuckingtrip.'
'Meaning?' says Hiro
'Meaning love’s all true.”
― Vanessa Place, quote from La Medusa
“When we grow up, we find ways to hide our anxieties, our loneliness, our fear and sorrow. But children hide nothing, putting everything into their tears, which they spread liberally about for the whole world to see.”
― Yōko Ogawa, quote from The Diving Pool: Three Novellas
“He stood looking down at her for a moment, then walked to the window and raised it. "Let's let the storm in," he said, and then it was with them, filling the half-dark room with sound and vibration. The rain-chilled air washed over her, cool and fresh on her heated skin. She sighed, the small sound drowned out by the din of thunder and rain.
There by the window, with the dim grey light outlining the bulge and plane of powerful muscle, Wolf removed his wet clothing.”
― Linda Howard, quote from Mackenzie's Mountain
“It feels strange to me to be living in a box, hiding from the steadying influence of the moon; wearing the hide of a cow, which is supposed to be dyed to match God-knows-what, on my feet; making promises over the telephone about things I will do at a precise hour next year.”
― Barbara Kingsolver, quote from High Tide in Tucson
“But where do you go to get away from what’s always there?”
― J.D. Robb, quote from Ceremony in Death
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