Quotes from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“I'm convinced that responsibility is some kind of psychological disease.”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“Now you may have gotten the impression that there are absolutely no uses for Librarians. I'm sorry if I implied that. Librarians are very useful. For instance, they are useful if you are fishing for sharks and need some bait. They're also useful for throwing out windows to test the effects of concrete impact on horn-rimmed glasses. If you have enough Librarians, you can build bridges out of them. (Just like witches.)
And, unfortunately, they are also useful for organizing things.”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“Entropy shakes its angry fist at you for being clever enough to organize the world. (p 2)”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“You want to be a better person? Go listen to someone you disagree with. don't argue with them just listen. It's remarkable what interesting things people will say if you take the time to not be a jerk.”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“It's actually a rather romantic and dramatic story --- one I would eagerly tell you, except for the fact that I recently forgot it, based on it being far too long and having not enough decapitations.”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“I don't want to make people mad. I just... well, how can people get better if you don't tell them what you honestly think?”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“Somebody tell me that I should just go speak to the kings again."
"uh," Sing said, "didn't I just do that?"
"I need to her it again, Sing," Grandpa Smedry said. "I'm old and stubborn!”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“The most important truths can always withstand a little examination.”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“That's Australia. She's not dim-witted, she just has trouble remembering to be smart.”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“Behold!" I bellowed. "'Tis a foul beast of the nether-hells. Stand behind me and I shall slay it!"
"Oh, Alcatraz," Bastille breathed. "Thou art awesomish and manlyish.”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“She fell because she was looking through the library’s nonfriction section.) We”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“(It should be noted that the Honorable Guild of Evil Warlords has worked very hard to counter the negative stereotype of its members. After several dozen bake sales and charity auctions, someone suggested that they remove the word evil from the title of their organization. The suggestion was eventually rejected on account of Gurstak the Ruthless having just ordered a full box of embossed business cards.) The”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“People are people. Wherever they come from or whatever they look like, they’re the same. As the philosopher Garnglegoot the Confused once said: “I’ll have a banana and crayon sandwich, please.” (Garnglegoot always did have trouble staying on topic.)”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“The people on the steps chose to scream like a bunch of people on some steps, but they did get out of the way. Grandpa”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“a chin that could destroy small countries if it fell into the wrong hands.”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“Unfortunately, I know that some of you Hushlanders have trouble counting to three. (The Librarian- controlled schools don't want you to be able to manage complex mathematics.) So I've prepared this helpful guide.

Definition of "book one": The best place to start a series. You can identify "book one" by the fact that it has a little "1" on the spine. Smedrys do a happy dance when you read book one first. Entropy shakes its angry fist at you for being clever enough to organize the world.

Definition of "book two": The book you read after book one. If you start with book two, I will make fun of you. (Okay, so I'll make fun of you either way. But honestly, do you want to give me more ammunition?)

Definition of "book three": The worst place, currently, to start a series. If you start here, I will throw things at you.

Definition of "book four": And . . . how'd you manage to start with that one? I haven't even written it yet. (You sneaky time travelers.)”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“Everybody evaluates. We critics are just trained to talk about it.”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“In Nalhalla, everything has castle towers. Even the outhouses. (You know, in case someone tries to seize the throne.)”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

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― Lemony Snicket, quote from Why Is This Night Different from All Other Nights?

“Are you sure you’re all right?” Oscar asked.
“I’m sure.” The sound of their voices disturbed the night, and her dishonesty disturbed her. How could she be all right? She’d been abducted at knifepoint. She’d heard the chanting again and seen the eerie black skeletal face on the bathwater’s surface. What were those things, if not part of the Umandu curse?
“Are you sure he didn’t touch you?” Oscar asked, the softness of his question poles apart from the anger and irritation he’d shown all day. It was obvious he didn’t want to go chasing after Umandu, but she couldn’t imagine the prospect of bringing her father back to life would make him so sour.
Camille sat up, holding the thin blanket around her neck. An odd thought struck her: They were on land, alone in a room, and they hadn’t yet struggled with an awkward stretch of silence. Camille liked the change and hoped it stuck.
Oscar lay on the floor, beneath the double windows. He had one arm over his chest, the other behind his head. He saw her and pushed himself up, his own covers loose around his waist. He still wore his clothes, and she grinned, knowing it was for her benefit only. He’d be sweating rivers tonight in the heavy heat. Oscar wrapped his arm around one knee.
“You have no idea what went through my mind tonight when I found that bathtub empty,” he whispered. “I can’t let anything happen to you, Camille.”
She sat up a little straighter, hoping he wouldn’t pledge his protection just to honor his dead captain. “I didn’t mean to make you worry, Oscar. But my safety isn’t your burden.”
Though she couldn’t see him clearly in the shadowed room, Camille felt his eyes on her.
“You’re not a burden, Camille. Not to me.”
She searched his dark outline. A patch of moonlight fell on a swath of bare skin on the curve of his neck. It glistened with sweat, and she felt her own skin fire with the charged silence growing between them. She didn’t know how to respond; he wouldn’t look away.
“He didn’t touch me,” she whispered instead, answering his original question. She lay back and turned onto her side, disappointed she hadn’t found something more to say. Something to make the moment last a hair longer.
Oscar’s covers rustled as he settled back as well.
“That was smart of him,” he replied, and said no more.”
― Angie Frazier, quote from Everlasting

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