“He loved him enough to want to die for hurting him, loved him enough to kill himself slowly for fear of losing him, loved him enough to suffer silently if he thought it was in Boyd's interest. Sin loved Boyd enough to make difficult decisions easily, as if there were no contest; he went toward Boyd as if he hadn't even considered any other choices.”
“He'd lost the only part of his life that made it worth living because of a couple random fucks. How ridiculous.”
“All that mattered was that Boyd was there. He was there for Sin, and when Sin opened his eyes to look at Boyd once more, Sin ignored all the self-doubt and paranoia. Because at that moment he somehow knew that Boyd always would be.”
“He'd more than achieved his goal; as usual Boyd had the ability to completely blow his mind. If insanity had a temporary cure, its name would be Boyd's Blowjob. He could open his own store full of home remedies; it'd give the term 'Head Shop' a whole new meaning.”
“Who the hell is this?"
"God's new gift to women?" Emilio offered with an innocent smile. "I guess he figured since you're going to kill me, the world needed a replacement.”
“You can still be someone new without giving up everything you cared about before.”
“Americans are interesting creatures. They criticize those who speak their language with a slight accent but have no issues with butchering most other languages, my name included.”
“Love and trust and believing in other people-- what was the point when humans were all flawed and fucked up anyway, when they only hurt each other continuously because they were too stupid to do anything else?”
“I killed you," Sin said finally, his voice low and shaking with anger.
Emilio looked genuinely confused now and he gave Sin a bizarre look. "What the hell are you talking about?"
Sin shook his head slowly, incredulously, eyes narrowing into slits. "I fucking shot you, and you fucking died!" he shouted finally, taking a menacing step towards his father.
But Emilio didn't back down, he just shrugged calmly at the younger reflection of himself. "Oh, that.”
“It reminded him of a science fiction novel that he'd read once; in it, the characters had a tendency to say ominously that 'winter was coming' and Sin had to fight the urge to say the words out loud with the exact same ominous feeling behind.”
“Good luck," Kassian said amiably, watching her walk away. When she was gone, he cast another look at Sin. "I hope they skip the sparring this time around."
"Afraid I'll beat up your girlfriend?" Sin asked dryly, hunching forward with a wince as he put his head in his hands. "Don't worry, I have no desire to kill a bunch of pathetic little trainees if that's what you're thinking."
Boyd raised an eyebrow. "You'd better not be including me in that statement."
Sin peeked at him through his fingers. "Oh. I forgot about you."
"I'm that easy to forget, am I?" Boyd asked dryly. "Especially when I've been right in front of you for the last hour? I'm flattered.”
“Sin raised an eyebrow. "I don't remember it being very difficult," he said blandly.
Carhart looked back at him and after a moment rolled his eyes, which was both surprising and amusing at the same time. "Fine. Kassian and I can tell you that, since we're currently the only two normal people alive who have gone through it. I forgot that we are in the presence of Super Agent. Forgive my lapse."
"You're forgiven," Sin replied with a smirk.”
“That was fucking awesome," Boyd enthused with a huge grin.
"It's pretty amazing," Kassian agreed, taking off his own helmet. "I had a feeling you'd appreciate it considering your taste in cars and men. Fast, powerful and dangerous and all that stuff, right?”
“Boyd let out a short, amused sound. "It helps. Now I know I'm an equal opportunity gay lover," he said lightly. "The sky's the limit from now on."
Kassian shook his head with a grin. "If only that were actually the case. For us, the Agency's ceiling is the limit.”
“Kassian arched a brow at Boyd as they made the short walk to Boyd's house. "You have no idea at all? I'm looking for an SUV of some kind although I'd prefer another truck. I can't drive those tiny ass cars they make now. I feel like if I get in an accident I'll be crushed instantly."
"That's why I want one that's fast and easy to handle," Boyd said wryly. "To get out of the way of you crazy SUV drivers.”
“Right then, he thanked his mother for the coldness she'd taught him; for the clarity it could bring, for the protection it represented. Because if he didn't do this he knew he'd fall apart; he knew he wouldn't be able to contain the anger and hurt.”
“Every birthday, every winter, had been completely chaotic since he'd joined the Agency. It seemed like ever since he'd met Sin, Boyd couldn't last through the month of November without at least something going to complete hell.”
“I need a book," Boyd said as he approached.
The man stared at him, probably waiting for Boyd to say more. When Boyd didn't immediately embellish the man said slowly, drawing the word out, "'Kay. Want me to randomly choose one or you got something in mind?”
“I don't know. I think..." He cleared his throat and looked up finally, green eyes piercing into Carhart's blue ones. "I think I may have problems with the mental examination."
He'd known for a long time that there was a lot wrong with Sin because of what he'd been through as a child and, really, all of his life, but this was the first time that Sin was actually saying it out loud. And he wasn't really sure he knew what that meant.”
“Tough choice," Sin said in a droll tone. "What are the odds that any of this shit will actually work on me?"
"With your system? I suspect you need a horse tranquilizer or two.”
“Hi," she blurted, seeming surprised that she'd actually said it.
At the sound of someone voluntarily speaking to Sin, Boyd looked over at her; although his expression would have seemed neutral to most people, Sin knew him well enough to recognize that he was surprised.”
“It was as if there was a switch in Boyd's mind that said that if Sin was involved, it was alright to do anything he wanted. Boyd felt that either he was too close to Sin and all he could think about was the other man-- but with that came over-analyzing everything and becoming especially sensitive to any slights-- or a wall came up in his mind that made him not think of Sin enough.”
“Some wars are unavoidable and need well be fought, but this doesn't erase warfare's waste. Sorry, we must say to the mothers whose son's die horribly. This will never end. Sorry.”
“it's a complete rush to get what you've been hoping for - to get it so full and complete that it fills your senses. ”
“Sophia, with real nobility of character, then asked Papa to explain something she had read in Sir John Malcolm's History of Persia, which the Vicar, whose only personal extravagance was his purchase of books, had lately added to his library.”
“The living are made of nothing but flaws. The dead, with each passing day in the afterlife, become more and more impeccable to those who remain earthbound.”
“God, help me. Help me to be wise and full of courage and sound judgment. Harden my heart to the sights that I must see so soon again, grant me only the power to think clearly, boldly, resolutely, no matter how unnerving the peril. Let me not fail them.”
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