Virals

Why do all your brilliant ideas involve felonies?

An elite confederacy of nerds. My peeps

Who's going to rob us? A crackhead crab? A jellyfish junkie?

Parallel tough-guy nods. Man fix boat! Man be strong! "What now?" I asked, hoping to divert the two from actually beating their chests.

Let's do it. Monkeys are always funny. You pretty much can't go wrong with a monkey, right? Hi paused. Well unless that monkey wants you dead, or does needle drugs or something. Then it's wrong, and a bad monkey.

I can't believe you jokers fixed it." Hi was picking his way down to the beach. "Believe it, clown. Too much brain power here to fail." Still pumped, Shelton threw another palm Ben's way. "Oh, I'm sure." Hi streched, yawned. "It was something highly technical, I suppose? Something requiring mechanical ability? Nothing as simple as tightening a wire or flippin a switch, right?" Ben reddened. Shelton developed an intrest in his sneakers. Score one for Hi.

Baravetto was unconscious when we found him," Hi said. "What'd you do to the guy?" "Kicked him in the balls, then brained him with a rolling pin. Twice.

You all right now?" "I'm exceptional. Wonderful. Thanks for the concern. You complete me.

God help anyone who messes with the Virals!

Chance wore a white tuxedo with tails. On anyone else? Doopy. On him? Yes, please.

The current phone obsession is a disease,” Chance said. “Everyone’s gone mad, typing to themselves all day long like mindless robots.

Where is the dog tag you found?” “What?” Shelton yipped. “We…lost it.” “Where?” “In the woods. After we ran.” “Where in the woods? Ran from what?” “Oh, uh…Tory dropped the tag when we ran from…whatever.” “From whatever?” Hi hammered. “Did you see men with guns or not?” “Um, no. I guess not.” “You guess?” “It was dark.” Shelton struggled. “I realize now that nobody was there.” “Then what did you hear?” “Uh, er…pops. Like sticks breaking?” Shelton’s responses were growing increasingly feeble. “How many? From which direction?” “Lots. Like, from everywhere.” Hi’s eyebrows shot up. “You heard ‘lots’ of ‘pops like sticks’ coming from everywhere? That’s your story?” “Wait, no, not everywhere. From the…left?

Won't you take me to Monkey-Town?

We may suck at breaking in to places, but we're money at sneaking out!