“Why do all your brilliant ideas involve felonies?”
“An elite confederacy of nerds. My peeps”
“Who's going to rob us? A crackhead crab? A jellyfish junkie?”
“Parallel tough-guy nods. Man fix boat! Man be strong!
"What now?" I asked, hoping to divert the two from actually beating their chests.”
“Let's do it. Monkeys are always funny. You pretty much can't go wrong with a monkey, right? Hi paused. Well unless that monkey wants you dead, or does needle drugs or something. Then it's wrong, and a bad monkey.”
“I can't believe you jokers fixed it." Hi was picking his way down to the beach.
"Believe it, clown. Too much brain power here to fail." Still pumped, Shelton threw another palm Ben's way.
"Oh, I'm sure." Hi streched, yawned. "It was something highly technical, I suppose? Something requiring mechanical ability? Nothing as simple as tightening a wire or flippin a switch, right?"
Ben reddened. Shelton developed an intrest in his sneakers.
Score one for Hi.”
“Baravetto was unconscious when we found him," Hi said. "What'd you do to the guy?"
"Kicked him in the balls, then brained him with a rolling pin. Twice.”
“You all right now?"
"I'm exceptional. Wonderful. Thanks for the concern. You complete me.”
“God help anyone who messes with the Virals!”
“Chance wore a white tuxedo with tails. On anyone else? Doopy. On him? Yes, please.”
“The current phone obsession is a disease,” Chance said. “Everyone’s gone mad, typing to themselves all day long like mindless robots.”
“Where is the dog tag you found?”
“What?” Shelton yipped. “We…lost it.”
“Where?”
“In the woods. After we ran.”
“Where in the woods? Ran from what?”
“Oh, uh…Tory dropped the tag when we ran from…whatever.”
“From whatever?” Hi hammered. “Did you see men with guns or not?”
“Um, no. I guess not.”
“You guess?”
“It was dark.” Shelton struggled. “I realize now that nobody was there.”
“Then what did you hear?”
“Uh, er…pops. Like sticks breaking?”
Shelton’s responses were growing increasingly feeble.
“How many? From which direction?”
“Lots. Like, from everywhere.”
Hi’s eyebrows shot up. “You heard ‘lots’ of ‘pops like sticks’ coming from everywhere? That’s your story?”
“Wait, no, not everywhere. From the…left?”
“Won't you take me to Monkey-Town?”
“We may suck at breaking in to places, but we're money at sneaking out!”
“Lamenting the vagaries of fate may leave us with a galling sense of helpless frustration, which many escape by transforming the tragedy of the human condition into the specific sins of specific societies. This turns an insoluble problem of cosmic justice into an apparently manageable issue of social justice. Since the sins of human beings are virtually inexhaustible, there is seldom a lack of examples of wrongdoing to which intergroup differences can be attributed, rightly or wrongly. Where the quest for injustice is over-riding, among the things it over-rides are logic and evidence.”
“You are the timid one, the gentle brother – inside and out. You are the one to carry his heart on his sleeve. You are the one who watches silently from afar and loves with all his soul.”
“I was an avid reader of Surf Life magazine, and I was surprised to discover a write-up of our Tasmanian visit. It made me proud to read how impressed those guys were with Steve’s surfing abilities. One incident that didn’t make the article was when Steve came partway to shore while I watched him from the beach. All of a sudden he stripped off his wet suit. It was winter and quite cold.
“What are you doing?” I called out.
He stood in the icy water. “This is how dedicated I am to having a boy baby,” he said, with a mischievous grin.
I said, “I think you’re just supposed to keep them cool, not actually freeze them off.”
He laughed. But I knew this was Steve’s way of encouraging me to stick to the boy-baby diet. Did I mention that I could not eat chocolate? The sacrifices we make for love.”
“I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.”
“But, with unintelligible nostalgia for a life she had never lived, knew that all would have been subtly and profoundly different had her husband greatly loved her.”
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