Quotes from The Not So Secret Emails Of Coco Pinchard

“TO:rosencrantzpinchard@gmai.com: Something's wrong! The house is shaking!

TO:rosencrantzpinchard@gmail.com: Well can you turn down the volume on Star Trek:Voyager? I thought we were having an earthquake when the Enterprise hit Warp speed. Why did you let me sleep until nearly one?”
― Robert Bryndza, quote from The Not So Secret Emails Of Coco Pinchard

“Thursday 1st January 00:15
TO: chris@christophercheshire.com
Fireworks from the London Eye are bursting above my head filling the garden with reds, yellows and blues, but I am on my own. I don’t know where Daniel is. He promised he would be home by eleven.
Happy New Year x”
― Robert Bryndza, quote from The Not So Secret Emails Of Coco Pinchard

“I unzipped my boots but they wouldn’t budge. My feet had swollen in the heat. After much tugging, a queue had started to form behind us. Eventually I had no choice but to hold onto the rail with my legs in the air whilst Adam pulled. It wasn’t my finest hour.”
― Robert Bryndza, quote from The Not So Secret Emails Of Coco Pinchard

“There’s like a dude at the door, asking for you?”
“Did you let him in?”
“No. I said I would check with you.”
“Well, did you ask his name?”
“Yeah. It’s Mr. Rickard.”
“That’s Adam you idiot! Go and let him in!”
“But he’s like fit!”
“No need to sound so shocked.”
“You’re dating him?”
“Yes. look, I haven’t got time to go this, and he is standing out on the doorstep.”
“Fucking hell Mum, like, way to go.”
― Robert Bryndza, quote from The Not So Secret Emails Of Coco Pinchard

“I didn’t think I’d end up divorced with three kids and a bucket fanny, but there you go.”
― Robert Bryndza, quote from The Not So Secret Emails Of Coco Pinchard

“I felt tears coming and for some reason, buried my head in Iain’s chest. It was firm and muscled and he smelt so wonderful.
I realised what I was doing and pulled away, but a big string of snot hung between my nose and his shirt pocket.”
― Robert Bryndza, quote from The Not So Secret Emails Of Coco Pinchard

“I came out of the bathroom naked this morning as the computer was ringing and Meryl and Tony appeared via Skype.”
― Robert Bryndza, quote from The Not So Secret Emails Of Coco Pinchard

“Thursday 18th June 07:37
TO: chris@christophercheshire.com
Ow, ow ow. Sunburn. Grass burn. Torn dress. Mud in hair. Hung-over. Feel like a slut.”
― Robert Bryndza, quote from The Not So Secret Emails Of Coco Pinchard

“TO: rosencrantzpinchard@gmail.com
Oh god! Oh god! Oh shit! I have just sent the email I was meant to send to you, slagging off Meryl to Meryl by mistake. Damn this email invention.”
― Robert Bryndza, quote from The Not So Secret Emails Of Coco Pinchard

“Saturday 18th July 19:02
TO: adam.rickard@gov.co.uk
Great. Will see you tomorrow. I am just going home for a bit of anal.

Saturday 18th July 19:04
TO: adam.rickard@gov.co.uk
That was the auto correct! Not me! My email was meant to read ‘I am just going home for a bit of a nap!’
I am tired, I am not, and I never have…
Anyway. Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow.
Coco.”
― Robert Bryndza, quote from The Not So Secret Emails Of Coco Pinchard

“again, I’m limited to the over forties. Your youth, it goes.”
― Robert Bryndza, quote from The Not So Secret Emails Of Coco Pinchard

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“As with a wound on one's own body, it is possible to develop an intimacy with the most disturbing of things”
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“Adults are not idiots

often in books such as this one, the opposite impression is given. Adults in those stories will either (a) get captured, (b) disappear conspicuously when there is trouble, or (c) refuse to help.
( im not sure what authors have against adults, but everyone seems to hate them to an extent usually reserved for dogs and mothers. Why else make them out to make such idiots? "Ah look, the dark lord of evil has come to attack the castle! Annnd. ther's my lunch break. Have fun saving the word on your own kids")
In the real world adults tend to get involved in everything whether you want them to or not. They won't disappear when the dark lord appears, though they may try to sue them.
This discrepancy is yet another proof that most books are fantasies while this book is utterly true and invaluable.
you see in this book, I will make it completely clear that adults are not idiots.
they are however hairy
Adults are like hairy kids who like to tell other what to do. Dispite what other books may claim they do have their uses, they can reach things on high shelves for instance...
Regardless, i often wish that the two groups-adults and kids- could find a way to get along better. Some sort of treaty or something. The biggest problem is the adults have one of the most effective recruitment stratagies in the world.
Give them enough time and they'll turn any kid into one of them.”
― Brandon Sanderson, quote from Alcatraz Versus the Scrivener's Bones

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