Quotes from Special Forces - Soldiers

“You're my home. I will find you.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, quote from Special Forces - Soldiers

“I need you.” He could not go any further down. Rock bottom. And at the very bottom was just this one thing. The core of it all. “Fucking... love you... too much.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, quote from Special Forces - Soldiers

“He’d do anything, absolutely everything for this man, suck him, kill, kill himself, run away, be something else, anything else, everything just blurred, darkness, a place inside that only held him and Dan. Nobody else, nothing else, no time, no place, no affiliations, no past, no future.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, quote from Special Forces - Soldiers

“I’d die for you, Dan. No questions asked.”

“No, Vadim. No.” Dan’s dark eyes were unforgivingly intense. “You must not die for me, not ever. You must live for me, you understand?” His fingertips rested on Vadim’s face. “Give me your word, you will live for me, whatever happens. Even if I never see you again. I need to believe that somewhere, out there, you are alive.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, quote from Special Forces - Soldiers

“When you're like this, Vadim, I want to own you, and taste you, burrow all the way into your body until I feel so much it fucking hurts and your scent clings to every pore. I want to hurt you, tear you apart, fuck you until you plead and scream and bleed, and all that, because I can never get enough of you.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, quote from Special Forces - Soldiers

“Blood, pain and an all-surpassing lust for one man settled so deeply into his bones, the need had become part of him. Bottomless, like the touch he craved. Vadim.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, quote from Special Forces - Soldiers

“Dan didn’t want to say anything, but the words were unstoppable. “I fucking love you. Don’t leave me. You’ve got to find me.” Again, fucking tears. Vadim shook his head, then pressed his face into the crook of Dan’s shoulder, hoped to hide his weakness and felt like a man condemned to die.

“I will... find you. If it’s the last thing I’ll do, I’ll come back. Nothing will stop me.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, quote from Special Forces - Soldiers

“You’re with me,” Dan murmured against Vadim’s lips. “In my thoughts, my heart, my mind, no matter what I am doing. I goddamned need you, and I want you—always.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, quote from Special Forces - Soldiers

“Dan's voice was rough and low as he murmured against Vadim's lips. 'I hate you, Russkie.' No. He didn't, but he couldn't find the right word for this. This feeling. Hatred was the closest he could get. The alternative was still unthinkable.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, quote from Special Forces - Soldiers

“If I don’t wear anything, I’d probably make the food go off, and the children run away screaming. What with all the scars and all. I’m not what one could call particularly pretty.” Unlike you, Vadim, and your goddamned perfection, except for a word cut in blood and flesh.

Vadim shook his head, already retreating towards the open door. “'Pretty' is different,” he murmured. “'Pretty' has no scars. You are... Jaw muscles tensed again. “Like the morning sky in Afghanistan. Not ‘pretty’. Word’s ‘breathtaking’.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, quote from Special Forces - Soldiers

“It's really rather simple.' Dan took the refilled glass, 'I love Vadim.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, quote from Special Forces - Soldiers

“Dan pulled him in. Anchored him. Secured him, like one mountain climber to the other, rope and irons and nothing but the abyss if the rope failed. “It will work. I haven’t got this far to give up.”

“It’ll work.” Dan’s kisses grew more intense. “It must.” Because you’re mine, and you belong to me.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, quote from Special Forces - Soldiers

“Once upon a time, Dan had hated that body, smashed it, kicked it, beat it into a bleeding pulp, but now he wanted to crawl into it, or kill it and maim it, to possess it, eat, tear, destroy it and never leave it again.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, quote from Special Forces - Soldiers

“You’re seriously in love, you know that? It’s a great feeling, unless it hurts like a bitch.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, quote from Special Forces - Soldiers

“There’s no glory in this whole shit. No war is ever glorious. Heroes are usually dead. Besides, they rarely turn into heroes because they are super-humans, but because of circumstances.
Heroes rarely think. Heroes just act. So, all this is, is a stage for glory, small, personal and up to each one of us.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, quote from Special Forces - Soldiers

“You conquered me, got to this Special Forces bloke well and truly." His voice husky and low. "You could betray and kill me now and I wouldn't give a shit as long as you'd stay close until I died.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, quote from Special Forces - Soldiers

“Right now he was nothing but a physically hurt man who had been through hell and back, clinging to his promise. “We be... together. More than just... few... hours. Wanna die... with you. Not... alone.” Fought to stay awake, needed to spend every second with Vadim while he could.

Vadim kissed that hand again, looked up. “We won’t die. We'll never die. I promise. He’d promise anything, meant it, would die defending this man, would live and die and suffer for him.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, quote from Special Forces - Soldiers

“I thought I was better than you.” He felt too much, was tearing himself open with all this, but nine years deserved all his pain. “How wrong was I.” Vadim reached behind him to touch Dan’s neck.

“I wanted you even then. And I was... curious. I tried to... get into your mind, and instead let you in. Not good, and yet best thing I’ve done in this whole war.”
“Best thing I’ve done in all my life”.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, quote from Special Forces - Soldiers

“Russkie, promise me a simple thing?" Out of the blue when they had finished, after a mouthful from the mug. Dan seemed relaxed, leaning on his side. Resting back, savoring the taste, Vadim turned his head to look at Dan. Oh, that body. The effect it had on him, all the time, even when Dan wasn't there. Twelve months. "Promise what?"
Sometimes, that kind of thing was about letters. Tell my girl I love her. Tell my mother I didn't suffer. Almost painful. Letters. Words that would hurt worse than the killing bullet.
"Simple." Dan nodded, "if I'm unlucky, and if you find my body, will you bury it? Some rocks would do, I can't stand the thought of carrion's. As if that mattered, eh? I'd be fucking dead." Dan shrugged, tossed a grin towards the other, made light of an entirely far too heavy situation. He took the bottle once more, washing down the taste of death and decay, chasing away unbidden images.
Vadim felt a shudder race over his skin. The thought of death chilled him to the bone, like a premonition. For a moment he saw himself stagger through enemy territory, looking for something that had been Dan. Minefields, snipers, fucking Hind hellfire. He might be able to track him. He might be able to guess where he had gone, where he had fallen. He had found the occasional pilot. But he had had help. Finding a dead man in a country full of dead people was more of a challenge.
"I'll send you home," he murmured. Stay alive, he thought. Stay alive like you are now. I don't want to carry your rotting body to fucking Kabul and hand myself in to whatever bastard is your superior or handler there, but it must be Kabul. I can't hand myself over. But I will. Fuck you. He felt his face twitch, and turned away, breathing.
"No, I have no home anymore." Dan's hand stopped Vadim from turning over fully. Fingers digging into the muscular thigh. "Not my brother's family. Nowhere to send the body to. Forget it." Grip tightening while he moved closer. Ignored the heat, the damned fan and its monotonous creaking, pressed his body behind the other. "You're as close to a fucking home as I get.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, quote from Special Forces - Soldiers

“Dan didn't know how violently he was biting. Just the absolute closeness. Once upon a time he'd hated that body, smashed it, kicked it, beat it into a bleeding pulp, but now he wanted to crawl into it, or kill it, and maim it, to possess it, eat, tear, destroy it, to take it and never leave it again.
His. The body was his, the man was his. His, his, his alone!”
― Aleksandr Voinov, quote from Special Forces - Soldiers

“… I agree with two things: the steppe is wide—even though I’ve never been there, and the mountains, fuck, yes, the mountains are a thing for themselves. They eat you up, swallow you whole, digest and churn around until their loneliness spits you back out again and you think that nothing else matters. Just them, and that tiny handful of life that’s your own. Fucking insignificant. Nothing, no one, barely remembered, except perhaps for a moment of recognition in a goddamned teahouse.” He shut up, suddenly, had said too much.
Vadim flashed a smile. “You’re my favourite enemy, too. Fucking messy Brit.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, quote from Special Forces - Soldiers

“No time for books, no patience. What good would they do? They don’t tell you how to survive.”
“No, they don’t do that. They are reason, not tool.” Vadim smirked. “They hold more truth than Pravda. Politburo can’t lie in Pushkin. Pushkin was there before we became Soviets. It means…if we have past, we have future.” (…) “At least I know that there are many truths. It’s about learning to think different thoughts. Know things that you never felt. You could know what being rich feels like, or being in love, without ever getting real feeling.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, quote from Special Forces - Soldiers

“Looks like I'll be sucking your cock for food, but entirely my way."
Vadim paused. "No. Food is free. I'll give you money so you can buy food."
Dan's head hidden, lowered, Vadim couldn't see his facial expression. Surprise. Astonishment, his Russkie was more decent to him than he'd expected. Had hoped for a scrap to eat, but this treatment was more of a royal one. "You're treating me like I used to treat my pussies." Dan smirked, lifting his head.
"You shaved their heads? You weird man." Vadim chuckled while Dan muttered one of his choice obscenities.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, quote from Special Forces - Soldiers

“Dan reached out, his hand rested on the other's abs, under the blankets. Felt heat creep from the skin, feeding it back again. "How long did they have you? You look like a fair few beatings at least."
Vadim looked down at his body, tensed the muscle to keep that weight there, nice and snug. "Two days. Like weekend with in-laws, eh?" Tried a smile. "Bad food, and they hate you."
Nodding, Dan's eyes narrowed, could just about imagine what it had been like. "I don't take kindly to those who try to take away from me what is mine.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, quote from Special Forces - Soldiers

“You'd be the first enemy that ever got shaved by Spetsnaz, and not in the way we mean 'shaving'." As in, cut throat.

"Hoo-fucking-ray.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, quote from Special Forces - Soldiers

“No war is ever glorious. Heroes are usually dead. Besides, they rarely turn into heroes because they are super-humans, but because of circumstances.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, quote from Special Forces - Soldiers

“Fuck, how pathetic. Thirty-two years, one rape, one touch, one kiss, one shot.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, quote from Special Forces - Soldiers

“I will be back.”
No matter what, no matter how.
“I will find you.” Whatever it takes.

What had his Russkie once said? Have you ever loved without lust? No, Vadim, I haven't, but I'm loving more than I should.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, quote from Special Forces - Soldiers

“With Dan, he felt strong, powerful, at peace.

Somebody who could reduce him to reckless need, somebody who matched him stride for stride, knife for knife. Blow for fucking blow.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, quote from Special Forces - Soldiers

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