Puckoon

Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Life wasn't too bad. The trouble with Man was, even while he was having a good time, he didn't appreciate it. Why, thought Milligan, this very moment might be the happiest in me life. The very thought of it made him miserable.

Patience, thought Milligan, that word was invented by dull buggers who couldn't think quick enough.

Author? Author? Did you write these legs?' 'Yes." 'Well, I don't like dem. I don't like 'em at all at all. I could ha' writted better legs meself.

The width of neck and shoulder suggested a rugby player, the broken nose confirmed it. Which shows just how wrong you can be as he never played the game in his life.

Come, come, come? I'm not asking for hundreds of pounds, just a little to start with. Will someone say ten shillings?' 'I can say it, Father' said Milligan, 'but I haven't got it.' 'I've got it,' thought Dr Goldstein, 'but I'm not going to say it.