“I had passed on from life, from the world of struggles and hardship and big fat women with annoying laughs, and entered a glorious new existence of utter peace, and joy, and love.
And then some git brought me back to life”
― Yahtzee Croshaw, quote from Mogworld
“He seemed to notice for the first time that we weren't exactly rushing to his side, but were mainly watching him as a zoo patron would watch a crazy monkey, curious but ready to move at the first sign of poo-flinging. There was a minute of awkward silence before someone near the back with their head held under their arm said "who's this twat?”
― Yahtzee Croshaw, quote from Mogworld
“I am a crab. I am thinking crabby thoughts. I am tightening my grip on this rock with my big red pincers.”
― Yahtzee Croshaw, quote from Mogworld
“The obedient Pit bull becomes the escaped tiger and it's got a knife”
― Yahtzee Croshaw, quote from Mogworld
“His perpetual grin was wider than any I'd ever seen, and that included several guys I'd known at Dreadgrave's with no skin on their faces.”
― Yahtzee Croshaw, quote from Mogworld
“The Necromancer's Tower squatted over the river like an incontinent titan.”
― Yahtzee Croshaw, quote from Mogworld
“I don't actually remember if I was able to get a firebolt off. I have a vague memory of seeing orange light splatter harmlessly against a spiked breastplate, but that might just have been sparks from all the metal rubbing against metal. Then there was a sound rather like a bag of wet laundry being hurled across a gravel driveway, and that was the first time I died.”
― Yahtzee Croshaw, quote from Mogworld
“State your HURRAAARRGLAB,” went the monarch.
“Mr. Wonderful,” said the advisor, daintily wiping the king’s mouth with a hanky. “What do we keep telling you about your interrogation methods? The information’s never reliable and it really hurts our image.”
“It’s all right,” I sighed. “This is my actual face.”
― Yahtzee Croshaw, quote from Mogworld
“Ponyleaf was tall and thin, with a curly beard and the kind of rugged tan and fidgety nervousness that comes from a career adventuring through the gnoll-and-goblin-haunted wilderness. He stepped forward, separating himself from a bored-looking Loledian dwarf and a poorly dressed Anarecsian warrioress who looked chilly in every sense of the word.”
― Yahtzee Croshaw, quote from Mogworld
Yahtzee Croshaw
Born place: in Rugby, Warwickshire, England, The United Kingdom
Born date May 24, 1983
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“He follows us into the hallway, and I catch him looking at Kit’s ass. Knock it off, I sign to him. He grins and shrugs. I can’t help it. I can, I warn. I mock punching my fist into my open palm. He looks away somewhat sheepishly.”
― quote from Tall, Tatted and Tempting
“Thank God she wasn’t still hanging out in her underpants.”
― Julie James, quote from Something About You
“Talking about someone who makes you happy actually makes you happy. Being happy makes you want to talk, to go over everything, to share it so you can remember it all over again.”
― Elizabeth Scott, quote from Bloom
“We clear the harbor and the wind catches her sails and my beautiful ship leans over ever so gracefully, and her elegant bow cuts cleanly into the increasing chop of the waves. I take a deep breath and my chest expands and my heart starts thumping so strongly I fear the others might see it beat through the cloth of my jacket. I face the wind and my lips peel back from my teeth in a grin of pure joy.”
― L.A. Meyer, quote from Under the Jolly Roger: Being an Account of the Further Nautical Adventures of Jacky Faber
“Oh, if only I could hurt with such misery once again, to feel the powers of love here inside my heart, the joys of heaven and the pains of hell!”
― Victor Villaseñor, quote from Rain of Gold
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Every Dead Thing
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